#1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT_LQ-0TF6M
It happens about at about 3:30, but feel free to listen to the full song in order to critique that, too.

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Edit: If you like what you hear, feel free to take a look at our Facebook page, the link's in my sig.
Last edited by TenInchClock at Feb 27, 2012,
#2
Timing issues aside, there's some really great playing and melodies in the song. Not so sure about the vocals, but they sound really close to a kind of early 70s style prog, Genesis kind of sound, which is pretty cool. Some of the guitar licks are a little messy, and The tone could maybe benefit from a little less gain, but aside from that the playing is really good.
As for the harmony: Pretty cool, again there seems to be a slight timing issue that lets it down a little, but I think it sounds really good
Any crit on the links in my sig would be awesome
My Soundcloud
Always up for some C4C, been compared to Frank Turner, The Cure's Robert Smith and Bruce Springsteen so check out my stuff if you like the sound of that
#3
Pretty cool, singer sounds like a mix between Andrew Latimer and Ozzy, awesome! Harmony sounds alright I guess, I don't like telling people how to write their music so I'd rather comment on the playing. Guitars sound out of tune in a couple of places and could be played a bit tighter, try improving on that (making sure instruments are intonated every day, tuning before every take, playing to a metronome etc). I like the rawness of the production and I think it really fits the music.
#4
I like it, sans timing issues. Paddy McK gave some great advice, but I'm wondering about the riff that first comes up at 1:23. It sounds identical to another fairly famous riff, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's kind of throwing me off a bit, as I am expecting the rest of the riff to play where your song goes a bit quiet at that point.
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Last edited by wyldething at Feb 27, 2012,
#5
Sounds cool! Like everyone else has said, there are some timing issues that could be cleaned up with a little bit of work. I like the song though, reminds me of Sabbath with a tinge of...something else. It's probably something I'd throw on my iTunes.

I think my only real complaints are simply quality of production. Check your tuning, intonation (especially on bends) and tighten your timing. With that attention to detail it could be a kick ass song.

c4c?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1494117
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#6
Paddy McK

Cheers for the constructive criticism, I know exactly which licks you mean, disappointingly. I'll record them perfectly one day!
Anyway, about you, haha, i thought I'd choose to crit Pessimism, because it was lowest, and people on here tend to choose the top one and be done with it.
I always wondered what Elliot Smith would have sounded like, had he not sang so high-pitched all of the time, and I mean that in a good way, as anyone would only be able to. The lyrics seem to be really heartfelt as well. I'd happily part with money for it like, great job.


Artemis Entreri, commented on your thread
Last edited by TenInchClock at Feb 27, 2012,
#7
I clicked the link with every intention of skipping to 3:30 and just listening to the specific part.

Long story short; I listened to the whole thing and it was great.
The singer and the vocal melody are brilliant.
The mix seemed a little lacking in balls but maybe that's intentional and I'm too used to listening to doom
I agree with the comments above that the bends could do with some tidying.
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#8
Quote by TenInchClock
Paddy McK

Cheers for the constructive criticism, I know exactly which licks you mean, disappointingly. I'll record them perfectly one day!
Anyway, about you, haha, i thought I'd choose to crit Pessimism, because it was lowest, and people on here tend to choose the top one and be done with it.
I always wondered what Elliot Smith would have sounded like, had he not sang so high-pitched all of the time, and I mean that in a good way, as anyone would only be able to. The lyrics seem to be really heartfelt as well. I'd happily part with money for it like, great job.


Artemis Entreri, commented on your thread

Thanks man, much appreciated
My Soundcloud
Always up for some C4C, been compared to Frank Turner, The Cure's Robert Smith and Bruce Springsteen so check out my stuff if you like the sound of that
#9
Wow that was pretty friggin' cool! It gave me a bit of an Iron Maiden vibe which I totally dig.

I really liked how it went from sweet lead guitar to a Black Sabbath-like low riff and the vocals are also good. The song is really cool, I've added it to my favourites! I like to hear old-style metal.

Could you crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1521949
#11
This is some good stuff man, I really liked the ending in particular (from about 3:50 onwards). As has been said, the vocals remind me a lot of Ozzy there. I like the lyrics too, quite thought provoking. With regards to the melody you were referring to, (3:38 right?) I think it fits great, builds the song up to the end climax perfectly and the harmonies are 100% on the spot. I wonder if maybe you could incorporate that melody into the final chorus?that would sound pretty amazing I reckon, and would tie the whole thing together

The only thing I'd suggest to improve would be the very end, maybe you could go back to the 3:38 melody at the end, since it ends a little abruptly for my liking.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=29219064#post29219064
#12
Thanks, Gaz (co-incidentally my singer/guitarist's name, haha), and yeah, that was the part I was talking about, and I'm glad you liked it. I might think about trying out some stuff with the harmony in the final chorus, but, as I mentioned, the other guitarist has to sing at the same time, so it can't be too much like.
#13
The song itself is amazing. The harmony part is sick. The guitars went very well together. Enjoyed the entire song. At first, I had just almost skipped to the part you wanted criticism on, but the song is awesome. Great lyrics, powerful voice, good rhythm section. I really liked this a lot. Keep it up.

Crit for crit?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1523148
#14
Cool song dude, the chorus is wicked. That old school metal isn't easy to do well, but you guys pull it off. Your harmony part was my favourite part of the song, it works really well in the song. I like it, very black sabbath and iron maiden like the other guys have said.

check out my songs if you get a chance
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1521141

cheers
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#15
Thanks for the crit guys, responded in your respective threads.

To all who thought it was decent, could you like my band's facebook page? We're 6 likes away from 100, which is when we're uploading an acoustic version of one of our other songs (Rise and Shine). And that can only mean one thing... more stuff for you guys to crit for me! haha (I will C4C though, don't worry )

http://www.facebook.com/FirstBornSonRock