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#1
So lets say you dated this girl and you two fell in love and all that cutesy stuff, and eventually you want to get married!

This girl is very religious, and her religion requires her to marry someone else from the same religion. And now she wants you to convert to whatever her religion is, but you don't believe in it...

And remember, you're in love with her.

What would you do?


Edit: Oh, also this is the same religion you were in forever ago when you lived with your parents, so you already KNOW that you don't believe in it...
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Last edited by nbur4556 at Mar 1, 2012,
#3
If it was part of her beliefs to try to convert people then I would have known before marriage even popped into the picture. To answer OP, no. I don't want anyone to be constantly trying to convert me.
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#4
Wouldn't have gotten that far.
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#5
Nope. I stand firm in my beliefs and would not get in that situation in the first place.

That's something you should really consider BEFORE getting serious with someone. Even if you can get married and are fine with each other having different belief systems, a problem arises when you have children. Then you get to fight about who teaches them what.
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#6
Honestly, if you're an atheist or something I don't see a problem with you faking a religion to be with somebody just so the parents will shut up. I mean, if your you're in love, you're in love right?


If you have strong religious or moralistic beliefs and you can't do it, fair enough.


For me though, I'd feel pretty stupid if I let somebody special out of my life. I'd convert in a heartbeat if I didn't give a fuck about religion.
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#7
I would've asked her about her beliefs in the beginning.
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#9
If I was in love with her and she didn't mind that my religion would be a sham, then I'd do it, but it would be such a facade that I'm not sure how the marriage would work out. I'd feel awful for using her honest beliefs like that.
#10
Well if I was dating her and she was religious it wouldn't bother me, the conversion part is where I'm drawing the line. All of you who refuse to date a person who's religious think way too highly of yourself, or trying too hard.
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#12
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Honestly, if you're an atheist or something I don't see a problem with you faking a religion to be with somebody just so the parents will shut up. I mean, if your you're in love, you're in love right?


If you have strong religious or moralistic beliefs and you can't do it, fair enough.


For me though, I'd feel pretty stupid if I let somebody special out of my life. I'd convert in a heartbeat if I didn't give a fuck about religion.



This. Most people don't even know that I'm atheist until I tell them (well, apart from UG where I've brought it up many times), because I don't see it as an important part of my life. As long as I didn't have to do other rituals and shit, then I don't see the problem. If we were in love and this was the only thing in the way, why not?
As most have said, I'd probably find out the religion of the girl I'm dating really quickly to prevent this possibility from happening.
#13
Quote by D&DLover
If I was in love with her and she didn't mind that my religion would be a sham, then I'd do it, but it would be such a facade that I'm not sure how the marriage would work out. I'd feel awful for using her honest beliefs like that.


I would too. I couldn't do it. If that even came up I would explain to her that I'm an atheist and that the only way she will change my mind is with a logical argument that doesn't involve faith, Jesus dying on the cross, miracles, etc.
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#14
What if you really love someone, and have made it pretty clear you don't believe in anything (pretty clear as in saying you don't believe in anything right to them) and you get along fine until you can only get married (which you want to) if you convert, not for the person you like, but for their parents?
#15
Quote by behind_you
What is this said religion?

Well in my situation it's Mormonism...


and she's still gonna be with me even if I don't convert. She might try to convert me, but she'd still respect that it's my decision, and she wouldn't be to bothered about it.

The reason I'm asking is I feel bad that I'm not really living up to her religion I guess.
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#16
^Dawwwwwwwww
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I would too. I couldn't do it. If that even came up I would explain to her that I'm an atheist and that the only way she will change my mind is with a logical argument that doesn't involve faith, Jesus dying on the cross, miracles, etc.

I guess it would be easier for me because I'm not even atheist. I'm whatever the one is that doesn't know anything for certain.
Last edited by devourke at Mar 1, 2012,
#17
Quote by nbur4556

The reason I'm asking is I feel bad that I'm not really living up to her religion I guess.



...why
It's called a belief for a reason. I believe anchovies taste good. You may not. Just because you don't want anchovies on your pizza, doesn't mean you have failed me as a human and haven't lived up to my love of anchovies.
Same thing with religion. If she doesn't mind, don't worry about it.

Also I hate anchovies and I don't know why I used that analogy.
#18
Quote by nbur4556
The reason I'm asking is I feel bad that I'm not really living up to her religion I guess.


Don't feel bad about not living up to her beliefs. Mormonism is messed up anyway. The level on which they place their "prophet" sickens me, seeing someone raised so high who is only a man.
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#19
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^Dawwwwwwwww

I guess it would be easier for me because I'm not even atheist. I'm whatever the one is that doesn't know anything for certain.


This is why I've started classifying myself as an agnostic atheist, but laziness made me just type in atheist. I don't know for certain, but I also think that it's pretty unlikely (due to lack of evidence and shit).
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#20
Depends. Is it the girl forcing her beliefs on me, or her parents? If the former, f*ck that shit, she should love me regardless of religion. If it's an issue with the parents though, I'd probably fake being religious, yeah.
#22
Quote by nbur4556
Well in my situation it's Mormonism...


Well if she's a Mormon, you have to star as a super hero in a couple of pornographic movies
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#23
I've already had this happen (not marriage, but her parents (well, father specifically, her mother was cool with it)) wanting me to convert to Christianity on pain of 'not be allowed to see her'.

I ignored them. If they want to think that I'm a bad person for simply not believing in God then that's their prerogative, but their opinion doesn't matter - she made her own decision (I know women making decisions is a rather heretical notion for religion, but alas) and we stayed together. Her dad bitched and moaned constantly and generally treated me like scum, but **** him - if he wishes to be an arsehole then power to him: daresay he was thrilled when we broke up.

If people wish to force their religions on others then they aren't worth the time. However, if it's just their parents that are pissed, **** it. What are they going to do?
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#24
Quote by OVER9000VIDEOS
Depends. Is it the girl forcing her beliefs on me, or her parents? If the former, f*ck that shit, she should love me regardless of religion. If it's an issue with the parents though, I'd probably fake being religious, yeah.


Well her parents don't really like either of us anymore because she moved in with me (which is another reason I feel bad about all this...) and she's not forcing anything on me. I just feel bad about it because I know what her religion wants her to do, and she wouldn't be getting that with me...
"When that day comes I shall Futterwacken ... vigorously."
~ The Mad Hatter



#25
Nope.
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#26
Quote by nbur4556
Well in my situation it's Mormonism...


and she's still gonna be with me even if I don't convert. She might try to convert me, but she'd still respect that it's my decision, and she wouldn't be to bothered about it.

The reason I'm asking is I feel bad that I'm not really living up to her religion I guess.

Tell her if you're a mormon you're allowed to have numerous wives and if you become a mormon you will take full advantage of that.
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#27
That's a tough situation. I was brought up Mormon, so I know what you're going through. The LDS church is not a church for the lazy. If you're not totally committed to living it (or pretending that you believe it) then you will eventually lose your "steam" so to speak.

If her parents are real hardcore LDS then they'll expect you both to "clean up your act" and get married in the temple. If you decide to go through that, you'll be expected to attend your meetings every sunday, hold a calling, pay tithing, etc. If you don't believe it then you'll simply be putting yourself through a hell that you won't be able to endure the rest of your life. Eventually you'll have to come clean about your beliefs. The question is whether you'd rather do that now before you're married and 110% committed to her, or if you'd rather do it when you've been married for five years and have children to think about.
#28
I'm basically in that exact situation. She doesn't push me to do it and I'm not fervently against the idea, but yea...I don't knoooowwww

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#29
Would never have made it that far. Date some? Sure. Maybe have a relationship? Eh, depends on how devout she is. The woman in your situation, nah man. I doubt I would even fall for somebody that's devout towards something I do not believe in.

My parents never pushed a religion on me tho so I can't relate to any of the guilt you are trying to portray by that.
#30
I'm a not-really-at-all-religious Jew, but i wouldn't mind dating a girl who was a bit more observant. It wouldn't be the best and i'd probably have to avoid eating bacon-cheeseburgers in her presence but i'd tolerate it. Would i convert to a religion and culture i'm uncomfortable with, while getting strange reactions from family and friends just to please some girl? No ****ing way.

You may say "but what if you were really in love?" but the point is i wouldn't be. I couldn't see myself developing such an unbreakable connection to a girl who even on paper isn't nearly ideal for me.
Last edited by TOMMYB22 at Mar 1, 2012,
#31
Latvian Orthodox, sure i'd make the effort to join. But then she'd probably go away for a year to discover herself, and i'd be trapped in a religion I don't really identify with, with no prospective relationships.
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#32
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Wouldn't have gotten that far.

This.
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#34
Hell no. If the person you're with doesn't love you enough to get past your religious differences, then she doesn't love you enough.
#35
I won't pretend to be something I'm not for any reason. If a girl really loves me, she'll love me regardless of a difference in belief. I shouldn't have to fake anything. Plus, I'd be lieing to her about believing if I did decide to convert since I gave up on the religion thing a long time ago. I couldn't do that to someone I love. I'd want her to love me for who I really am, not who she thinks I am.

Besides, I don't think it would get that far given my opinions on religion and penchant for expressing them.
#36
Quote by captainsnazz
I'd explain to her that I don't believe any bullshit like that and I'd love to marry her but pretending to believe something is a) not the same as believing it and b) degrading.

This guy. I wouldn't have got very far with this hypothetical girl if all she did was constantly whine and attempt to convert me to her religion. If she actually gave a shit about me and the relationship then she would marry me without bothering about the religious differences.
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#37
i dont think id date a christian. i could lie and say im part of her stupid religion. i dont actually have to believe her bullshit do i? she should have known that earlier

edit:
Quote by TheChaz
Hell no. If the person you're with doesn't love you enough to get past your religious differences, then she doesn't love you enough.

what if shes really religious and believe her act will cause her to live in hell for eternity. thats pretty severe. if i actually believed in that, i dont think id choose a happy life. which is why religion makes no sense, why even bother living if heaven will have virgins for me to ****?
Last edited by jrcsgtpeppers at Mar 2, 2012,
#38
I already feel terrible about pretending to be religious for certain people in my family. I don't think I could do that with anyone else.
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#39
there seems to be a large gap in this scenario where the difference between their two beliefs (or absence of) causing arguments.

i don't see how i'd ever fall in love with a devoutly religious person, then have marriage becoming the problem.
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