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#1
I saw this link on the side of a page and decided to click it, I'm glad I did

Link

Basically this teacher was too lazy to make up math questions so he (or she) downloaded them from a homeschooling site, apparently without reading them first. Turns out the questions were violent, morbid and a whole other fun bunch of things.

"John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?"

What the hell

So what does the pit think? Should this teacher have been fired? And more importantly, who the fuck wrote these
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#4
I don't know about John, but this teacher has certainly lost his marbles.
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#5
That's pretty funny

That's what he or she gets for being a slacker.
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#8
Quote by Weaponized
Yahoo news is such a joke.

All of Yahoo is a joke to be fair.
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#9
Those are pretty cool.

Reminds me of serial killers.

I like serial killers.
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#10
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Once the math teacher got home and arrived to a slew of angry messages on his doorstep, at that point he knew something didn't add up.

#11
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Once the math teacher got home and arrived to a slew of angry messages on his doorstep, at that point he knew something didn't add up.

I'm a bit divided over maths teacher jokes. Sum are good, sum are bad.
#12
"John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?"

Oh god that great

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#13
Quote by Oyface

Somebody had to do it

Quote by whoomit
I'm a bit divided over maths teacher jokes. Sum are good, sum are bad.

This is true. I hate it when they go off tangents though.
#14
You know, they should start looking for sines of emotional damage in the students.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#17
That is just about the darkest thing I've ever read. (The one quoted)

By the way, the answer is 86
Last edited by yoman297 at Mar 2, 2012,
#18
Quote by moscaespañol
You know, they should start looking for sines of emotional damage in the students.

Yeah, cos there usually is sum to a degree.


Damn, BeardNinja'd.
Last edited by whoomit at Mar 2, 2012,
#19
Fired? No. Reprimanded? Definitely. I find it funny, but that's some grim shit to give third-graders.
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#20
"I took a nap in a bog one day and woke up screaming. 3796 leeches, 2910 fleas and 1044 vampire bats were stuck to my bald head drinking my blood in ecstasy. How many bloodthirsty bloodsuckers were dining on my head?


More importantly, how big is your head?
#22
Two of my favorites:

"John, Jack and Jim lit up their pipes after dinner and began blowing smoke rings. By the time they were finished, they had blown a total of 6437 smoke rings. If John blew 52 smoke rings and Jack blew 3896 smoke rings, how many smoke rings did Jim blow?"


Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?
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#23
I find this story has some parallels with a similar story from last year.


it doesn't work with geometry does it

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#24
Quote by moscaespañol
I find this story has some parallels with a similar story from last year.


it doesn't work with geometry does it


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#25
Quote by LRCGUITAR
Really not that bad



Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?


That's pretty bad, dude. Also, we can't be having teachers so lazy they can't even bother to read the homework they're assigning. Fire 'em.
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#26
To be honest, I love that marble question. I'd put it on a test for highschoolers as a joke question >_>
People in the pit take my post way too seriously.

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#28
Quote by StewieSwan
Dildo Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?


That's pretty bad, dude. Also, we can't be having teachers so lazy they can't even bother to read the homework they're assigning. Fire 'em.


Lol I see what you did there
#29
Quote by StewieSwan
Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?


That's pretty bad, dude. Also, we can't be having teachers so lazy they can't even bother to read the homework they're assigning. Fire 'em.


At least it doesn't say anything about Jews in the math problem.
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#30
How the hell does someone swallow that many marbles before they die? Oh, and the answer is 86.
#31
Those are a bunch of acute students.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#32
Kung Fu Lung Lee and his wife were sleeping one night when 5241 ninjas sneaked into their house. Kung Fu Lung Lee woke up immediately and slaughtered 1153 screaming ninjas. His wife viciously stabbed 2806 shrieking ninjas with her sharp chopsticks. The rest of the ninjas fled in terror. How many ninjas turned tail?

This was my favorite.
#33
Quote by moscaespañol
Those are a bunch of acute students.

How long did you spend thinking up that one?
#34
Quote by whoomit
How long did you spend thinking up that one?

I'm going through the index of my math book >__>

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#36
Quote by moscaespañol
I'm going through the index of my math book >__>



I'll try and think of another...
#37
"I have two sisters who are very pretty. However, both of them had horribly hairy tongues. Last Sunday, they begged me to pluck out the hair from their tongues. I plucked a total of 2705 strands of curly hair from Bertha's tongue with my trusty tweezers. I took a bit longer with Martha's tongue because she had 2106 more strands of hair than Bertha. My resourceful grandmother knitted all that hair into a sweater for me. How many strands of hair did I pluck altogether?"

I'm sure kids would like math more if they got problems like these.
#38
"I have two sisters who are very pretty. However, both of them had horribly hairy tongues. Last Sunday, they begged me to pluck out the hair from their tongues. I plucked a total of 2705 strands of curly hair from Bertha's tongue with my trusty tweezers. I took a bit longer with Martha's tongue because she had 2106 more strands of hair than Bertha. My resourceful grandmother knitted all that hair into a sweater for me. How many strands of hair did I pluck altogether?"

What an interesting story arc.

The parent's arguments have no base.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#39
Quote by moscaespañol
What an interesting story arc.

The parent's arguments have no base.

:|


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