#1
Maybe give me a crit about the song?
Attachments:
dsfgdhfg.gp5
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#2
44 views and not one comment. Ouch..
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#3
Ok heres what I think:
The Intro Bars 1-3: 7/10 Nice unique melodic lead bit leading up to the riff very nice I like the idea. Couldve been done better though but I hear where it's going and I like it.
Bars 4-11: 8/10 Wow very nice riff. I personally like deep sounding riffs (low notes) with some melodic leads in the background. It makes a nice full epic sound and I like it. It couldve been done better like the octaves being played in the background of the riff don't really add much and are playing too fast and it sounds annoying. Kind of ruins the riff. My suggestion would be to slow the octaves down or just take them out but that's just me. The main riff has potential you just have to find a way to make it sound better.
Bars 12-19: 6/10 Don't really like the riff. Sounds like a mess of notes. What I really do like about this part is the melodic leads in the background. Maybe you can make the riff more slower and simpler in order to really compliment the lead. It's a shame the lead gets lost in the mess of that riff. Potential.
Bars 20-27 6/10: Same riff as before with a new lick played behind it. I like the lick it just sounds too low in the mix maybe turn it up in the background. Also you can add a few palm mutes in the lick add some flavor too it maybe slow it down. I like the notes and the idea of the lick just need to fix it up.
Bars: 28-41 6/10: You come in with a new riff but a disappointing one compared to the rest of the song. Really nothing can be said good about this riff pretty simple, pretty boring but has the potential to be great. Add some hammer on and pull offs, some palm mutes, pinch harmonics, not just playing a bass note and it's octave. You'll be surprised how much better it will sound. The little melodic leads that come in are extraordinary and unique but are let down by the thin riff it sounds dead. You were going for that explosive rhythmic sound. Try filling up the empty space with palm mutes and hammer offs. Kind of like the riff in the sound Sulfur by Slipknot.
Bars: 50-57 7/10 I like the melodic chord progression going on in the background of the riff but the riff is terrible. Not that it's terrible but it doesnt go with the background. I would just scrap that riff and just add powerchords to add some fullness. Just my opinion.
That's about it the rest repeats itself. The drums are good from what I hear doesnt really stand out but it does the job. I can't really critique the drums. The bass same as the drums.
I rate this song a 6/10 with potential to be a solid 9 with a few improvements. I see myself listening to this kind of music. This song has the potential to be a strong unique metalcore song.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1524130 C4C?
#4
I've recorded it since as well.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3602793/thickersnare.mp3

Maybe you'd like the song better now that it's not on guitar pro.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#5
Have to say I'm bumping this quite a ways but **** this song is great dude. Listening to the recording just made my fricken morning ahah
#6
To be honest I was listening to the Gp5 file and It was meh.. "ok"... but then I heard what you recorded and thats pretty awesome! Really nice job

P.D: What did you use to record?
Last edited by chronos1989 at Apr 2, 2012,
#7
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3602793/Song1.mp3

Really rough vocals. Not finalized and the breakdown djent thing is changing as far as vocals go.

I used my Baron K88, Ibanez UV7, and saffire pro 24 is my interface and sonar 8.5 for daw.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#9
Tbh, the vocals are totally ruining this for me. I still really like the music but the vox kill it to me.
#10
What kind of vocals would you prefer over it?
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#11
The guttural lows and shrieking highs are poorly executed, sound poor, the lyrics can't be deciphered and they just plain don't fit. The more hardcore shouts not only suit it more but are better in every way, stick to those for the screamed sections. Some cleans would've been lovely in the chord sections, it just sounds like there should be a soaring vocal melody there.
The music recording was excellent, kudos there.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
#12
I would have to agree about the vocals. I'd listen to the instrumental of this all day, but if my first listen had vocals, I would have probably not listened to much. Seriously love everything else. Take this with a grain of salt though, as I don't really listen to anything with that kind of screaming. I'm more into Glassjaw, Underoath, Deftones, and La Dispute when it comes to heavier music.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could take a look at my newest tab:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1530959
I wrote a song about war...
The kind that lives in your head.
#13
Well to my surprise the band is going in a different direction. A bit heavier, quicker, and technical.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#14
Hey man, thought the song was awesome. Mind if I do a cover of it? I'll give full credit of course.
#15
Yeah just be sure to give full credit to Kyle Needham. Also link this page please.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
Last edited by kylendm at May 4, 2012,