#1
This is a song I'd had written down for awhile. It's meant for my girlfriend. Thought I'd post it here.

"I Dream"

Hear me croon softly, to your soul.
The light reflects off my heart, and back to you.
Let me whisper my love, in your ear.
'Cause I feel alive when I'm with you.
Laughter in my heart;
Smile in my eyes.

Chorus:
I dream, oh, I dream so softly.
Will you share my vision?
I dream, oh, I dream so softly.
Will you take my hand?

I felt the emotion, as I sat with you.
Living color, let it all shine through.
I can only that to our hearts we be true.
The fire in my soul refracts off of you.
I'm waiting every day, as these feelings grow.
Laughter in my heart;
Smile in my eyes.



That's it. Hope ya'll enjoy it.
#4
This is amazing, it will most likely get you laid Lol keep it up man!
"When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will know peace."
~Jimi Hendrix
#5
Quote by JakePlaysGuitar
This is amazing, it will most likely get you laid Lol keep it up man!

Well, thanks. But we're taking it slow, man. I'll probably post a few more pieces this next week or so.
#6
Haha alright and I look forward to seeing more! Are you ever going to record any of your songs?
"When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will know peace."
~Jimi Hendrix
#9
Thanks. It's pretty simple musically, but I'll have to see about posting music soon, at least a rough recording.
#10
It's kind of a thing with me that I hate in-line punctuation. I understand why you're using commas (to show that there's a pause there), but grammatically, the commas make no sense, and musically we can't tell what you're doing there, anyway, due to the fact that there's neither notation nor recording. My suggestion is that you would lose no meaning by removing the punctuation (since it's not grammatical), and your reader will supply their own flow, since you can't supply your own (without the notation or music). It's just a thing.

I can only that to our hearts we be true.
Should that "can" be "care?"

As other folks have said, it would be nice to hear.

peace
Nothing to see here. Move along.
#11
yeah its pretty. Good to see an actual love song rather than a heartbreak bore for once in a while.

not quite getting the line fire refracting thing, but maybe thats me being a pedant because in my other life I am a physics major...

good work keep it up!
#12
Quote by KGguitar
not quite getting the line fire refracting thing, but maybe thats me being a pedant because in my other life I am a physics major...
Well, I guess I was just comparing my girlfriend (who I'll marry someday) to a diamond (rare & beautiful, which she is to me). You know how diamonds refract light? Think of the "light" as the fire (or the depth of feeling) in me. As a personal note, my girlfriend and I are both people who are really quite warm towards people once we know them, but can seem shy (or, in my case, standoffish sometimes) until we get to know them. So, it's kind of meant to reflect the fact that we're both passionate and caring people, but it takes a bit to get to know us.

I kind of wrote this song so that it 1) applied to my girlfriend and I but also 2) could be something other people could look at/listen to & relate to emotionally. So, it basically has a dual purpose that, which is why there's no direct references to like, the color of her hair or eyes or whatever.

Anyway...I feel like I'm rambling...
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at May 4, 2012,