#1
I just started writing, something I've always thought about. I find I have lyrics going through my head randomly.

Anyway, I'm gonna post a song or two and see what you guys think. I haven't decided on the music I want to set it to. But I may explain how I hear it being sung. Whether or not you'll get what I mean or I'm going for, we'll see.

Thanks a lot for looking!
- Alex

#1-
It's hard to see past shimmering stars;
deep beyond I know there's more
I know that you can see it too,
past the black and past the blue

Look beyond the trees
Look beyond the clouds
Look beyond the skies
What have you found?

A screaming bright mystic horizon
A monument to the dead and dying
Further still, until I see no more
We have reached the Black Lakes shore.
A roaring scream of dark enlightening
Black hole humans, throats tightening

Look beyond all you know
Look beyond all you feel
Look beyond everything that tells you:
"This dream is real"

All that's left is a burning soul
Void of life; an empty hole.

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#2
I wonder often if we will meet again someday.
If there will be sunshine ev'r after
or will it fade to grey
When will we slowly start to say goodbye?
When will see the end isn't in sight?

A farcry from what once was,
now only emptiness so vague
A force of will upon the mind
to tell yourself, here I must stay

Around the hole dug by your thoughts
shall we bury it together?
A close resemblance to what once was
now only a burning ember.

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I'm not really sure what I'm looking for as far as critique. Anything is welcome. Hopefully these aren't too bad. Hah

And if anyone has a suggestion on a book or something else to help me with phrasing or continuity, please lemme know!
#2
Please read the rules of this forum before reposting. You are not allowed more than one piece per thread, and the title should be the title of the piece (or Untitled if you do not have one).