#1
Hey guys just wrote a new song that I would love some feedback on! It's more of a pop rock kind of song (i.e john mayer, maroon 5, and such) Tell me what you think? The pace is kind of fast to it, but not jjust super fast haha

I wanna love you like a sunny day
Look up to the sky as you light up the place
Everywhere I go I always see your face
Can we stop acting like our life is a race

Oh oh
Oh oh ohhhh

Your eyes
Shine as bright as a million fireflies
I’d walk miles
Just to you smile that smile

I’ve found a girl in a magic place
I started lovin’ at a faster pace
Wont ever loose her no she can’t be replaced
Oh oh
Oh oh ohhhh

Well one and one
Makes two
Us together
Just me and you
Lets slow down
Don’t go to fast
I want this moment to always last ohhh

I wanna love you like a sunny day
Look up to the sky as you light up the place
Everywhere I go I always see your face
Not gonna loose you cause you can’t be replaced ohh
I wanna love you like a sunny day
I wanna love you like a sunny day
I wanna love you like a sunny day
"When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will know peace."
~Jimi Hendrix
#2
Please tell me your thoughts!
"When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will know peace."
~Jimi Hendrix
#3
I'd say this is a pretty traditional love song. It's a bit simple, unless you plan on this being a more complex guitar piece and less lyrically focused.
Some of it may be a bit too cliche, "one and one makes two"


I think you could spruce up the middle lyrically. It's pretty cliche.
Instead of repeating, "I wanna love you like a sunny day"
You could change it every time. or add on to it.

You might want to tie the ideas a bit tighter, they're pretty vague and that makes it too simple and vague.

Just needs some more work is all
#4
Quote by JakePlaysGuitar

I wanna love you like a sunny day
Look up to the sky as you light up the place
Everywhere I go I always see your face
Can we stop acting like our life is a race

Didn't enjoy the rhyme scheme, but personal preference. Really didn't like the overused lines, though. Each of these feel lifted from somewhere else, and the last line I just didn't care for.

Your eyes
Shine as bright as a million fireflies
I’d walk miles
Just to you smile that smile

Please don't rip off Owl City, that's not doing anyone a favor. I think the last line is missing the word "see," and even then, it's a tired line.

I’ve found a girl in a magic place
I started lovin’ at a faster pace
Wont ever loose her no she can’t be replaced

I didn't mind this one, save for the opening line. "Magic place" is really...silly sounding, I want to say. "Loose" is not the same as "lose," aside from that, the last line could work in a cheesy radio pop song.

Well one and one
Makes two
Us together
Just me and you
Lets slow down
Don’t go to fast
I want this moment to always last ohhh

Best so far, still not much. Each of these ideas again, have been used, and almost certainly said before. It also does not agree with your previous stanza. Eh, not totally true, but earlier you said you were speeding up the pace, and now you want to slow it down.

I wanna love you like a sunny day
Look up to the sky as you light up the place
Everywhere I go I always see your face
Not gonna loose you cause you can’t be replaced

More of the "-ace" rhymes. It's almost charming how the entire song is built around it alone. Maybe in context, that could be a redeeming factor. Otherwise, I'm not too keen on this.


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