#1
You need to make huge sacrifices to be in a band, some of them being financially. I've made some huge ones for my band. first of all, changing from guitar to bass, and buying a gig worthy bass rig. My friend wouldn't help pay studio fees so I bought recording equipment just to get our music out. Now we're both in college and we are an hour apart, all our gear and our awesome practice space is where I and my drummer live. But my best friend, and guitarist/vocalist won't buy a parking pass at his school to have his car to make practice, and wants me to pay for everything because he has to pay for school.

We work all summer, I work a much harder, way better paying job than him, so I do have a lot more. But why do I have to keep paying his way? I feel like I've spent more than enough thousands of dollars for the benefit of our band. He is an awesome musician and songwriter but has zero flexibility for a band, and isn't willing to make any sacrifices.

Am I wrong? Has anyone else had to deal with this and could give me advice on what to do?

Edit: I forgot to mention it's only a few hundred dollars for his car there all year, that's a few days of work in the summer, but he claims every dollar earned has to be for tuition. If he's not willing to do that, why should he get to experience the same thing I want to experience while having to do nothing to get there financially.
Matthew 7:7 ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

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Last edited by tr3nt at Mar 13, 2012,
#2
Ive had the exact same thing happen with my guitarist. Kick his ass out the band, he's not pulling his weight them **** that dude and find someone who's actually keen on working together as a band. That's all I can suggest.
#3
College is expensive so cut him some slack on that front. If he really doesn't have time for a band then maybe you should talk to him about not actually being in the band anymore but still writing songs for you guys?
#4
Dude, ever heard of Axl Rose? This guy has the lead singer/guitarist complextion in one! That's a scary situation. Yes, it may be difficult going forward without him, but clearly he's already got it in his head that you need him, so he doesn't feel bad making these types of requests. Get rid of him now! Before you're burnt out on working so hard at something that's so frustrating that you quit altogether. Making music and becoming successful can be difficult, but you should always strive to have a healthy band dynamic.

If you do decide to move forward WITH him, keep in mind that this sounds like the type of guy who would demand more royalties and a higher percentage of the bands ownership (You may make all the sacrifices to get somewhere, but once you're there and he has control, he could very well up and kick you out just because).

People like this aren't worth it.
#5
Quote by Minivirus2
Dude, ever heard of Axl Rose? This guy has the lead singer/guitarist complextion in one! That's a scary situation. Yes, it may be difficult going forward without him, but clearly he's already got it in his head that you need him, so he doesn't feel bad making these types of requests. Get rid of him now! Before you're burnt out on working so hard at something that's so frustrating that you quit altogether. Making music and becoming successful can be difficult, but you should always strive to have a healthy band dynamic.

If you do decide to move forward WITH him, keep in mind that this sounds like the type of guy who would demand more royalties and a higher percentage of the bands ownership (You may make all the sacrifices to get somewhere, but once you're there and he has control, he could very well up and kick you out just because).

People like this aren't worth it.


It's an easy situation if it was just another guy, but he's my best friend. We've been playing music together for 5 years.

Edit: playing music means so much to me, I lose so much sleep over this. But I have already decided I'm going to try to get into something with people that are more like me, passionate and committed. Then just play in my current band whenever my vocalist/guitarist (one in question) wants to set something up. Which will most likely never happen, because I organize everything.
Matthew 7:7 ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Pop Punk! Check us out!: Flinch
Last edited by tr3nt at Mar 13, 2012,
#6
Quote by tr3nt
It's an easy situation if it was just another guy, but he's my best friend. We've been playing music together for 5 years.

Edit: playing music means so much to me, I lose so much sleep over this. But I have already decided I'm going to try to get into something with people that are more like me, passionate and committed. Then just play in my current band whenever my vocalist/guitarist (one in question) wants to set something up. Which will most likely never happen, because I organize everything.


Best friend or not.. he doesn't want this as much as you do... Wrong, no.. different, yes.. so, you're in different places musically...

the choice is.. you take what he's got... Pay what you need to pay to keep him envolved, or you cut him loose..
I Play Guitar
Some Like it
Some don't
I don't care
Beats Workin'
OLD GUYS RULE!!!!
#7
I guess I agree.
Matthew 7:7 ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Pop Punk! Check us out!: Flinch
#8
Those who say they have "zero flexibility", are merely just lazy. There's a whole heap of hours in a day, and you guys are in college still, albeit both working. If he wants to be in the band, he'll make more time, and he'll save up the cash.

But he doesn't save the cash because you've set a precedent that you'll pay for everything. I'd personally just end the band situation, you're in college now and you can easily find a whole heap of guys who are willing to commit more to bands and such. In any case your band has been going for 5 years and it sounds like there's only two of you. I think it's time to try something different.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#9
Quote by AlanHB
Those who say they have "zero flexibility", are merely just lazy. There's a whole heap of hours in a day, and you guys are in college still, albeit both working. If he wants to be in the band, he'll make more time, and he'll save up the cash.

But he doesn't save the cash because you've set a precedent that you'll pay for everything. I'd personally just end the band situation, you're in college now and you can easily find a whole heap of guys who are willing to commit more to bands and such. In any case your band has been going for 5 years and it sounds like there's only two of you. I think it's time to try something different.


Just been playing music together in different groups for 5 years. Just found a new drummer at college a couple months ago and it's been going well, besides this situation.
Matthew 7:7 ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Pop Punk! Check us out!: Flinch
#10
Quote by tr3nt
Just been playing music together in different groups for 5 years. Just found a new drummer at college a couple months ago and it's been going well, besides this situation.


Cool! Should be easy to find a new guitarist then.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
Soundcloud
#11
Quote by AlanHB
Cool! Should be easy to find a new guitarist then.


You make it sound so easy, haha.
Matthew 7:7 ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Pop Punk! Check us out!: Flinch
#12
It's usually easier than finding a bass player or drummer.
Quote by tubetime86
He's obviously pretty young, and I'd guess he's being raised by wolves, or at least humans with the intellectual capacity and compassion of wolves.


You finally made it home, draped in the flag that you fell for.
And so it goes