#1
My mom's going through it now. She's got breast cancer and she's half way through the treatment with 3 more months to go.

It's so bad at the moment, I don't know how it can get any worse.

Panic attacks, sluggish thoughts, depression, GI problems, nausea and insomnia.

Has anyone got experience with this? I don't really know what to do. I'm there for her and try to help as much as I can but I feel like it's enough.

My friends don't talk to me about it cuz it makes them nervous and don't know how to deal with it. It's similar with her.

Doctors give you pills and shots but that's it. There's not much emotional support.

Anyone in the UK know much about the McMillan group?
#4
Sorry man.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#5
My mom went through it when I was pretty young. That being said, I don't really have any clear memories of it. At that age, I don't think I really understood what it meant to have cancer.

Sorry dude. Wish I could help.
#6
Quote by Deliriumbassist
My mum was a Macmillan nurse. As a group, they offer fantastic help to families, as well as those going through the actual treatment. I do recommend contacting them for counselling/support.


Do they do home visits or is it usually contact through phone?
#7
My Grandma had breast cancer about two years ago and went through chemo. It wasn't fun for anyone and finally the cancer spread and she passed away pretty quickly afterwards My mom had it but got some surgery that removes the breasts and supposedly that is the best way to treat it. Sorry to hear that, hope everything turns out for the best.
#8
My sister went through it for breast cancer too, and it was absolute hell for her. It worked and she's come out the other side looking and feeling a hell of a lot better, but it was a tough time for everyone and especially her and her kids. MacMillan and a few local support groups offered a lot of help, but I can't say what they were like as she turned them down and dragged herself through work and kept going out to see friends and family every day instead. No matter how shit she felt. Staying active really is the key.

All you personally can do is make sure she knows you're there for her and try to make everyday life easier where you can. Even if she doesn't want to open up (maybe it's a parent thing, asking their kids for help is against years of parental instinct), there's comfort in knowing that you've got her back.
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither... nor women neither.
#9
Quote by Philip_pepper
Do they do home visits or is it usually contact through phone?


Mum did a lot of home visits when she worked for them. And it wasn't a case of 'whoever's on shift;' she was assigned to families, so you get ongoing support from the same people every time (which is important in complex situations like this). I can't imagine that would have changed since she went on to her new posting.
#10
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Mum did a lot of home visits when she worked for them. And it wasn't a case of 'whoever's on shift;' she was assigned to families, so you get ongoing support from the same people every time (which is important in complex situations like this). I can't imagine that would have changed since she went on to her new posting.


Cheers. We got a letter from the mail on friday and we'll give them a call tomorrow. I heard they are a bit understaffed so I'm not sure what to expect. If they can help, I'd be damn more relieved. I think her panic attacks are mostly due to feeling uncertain because of medical stuff.
#11
Chemo sucks man. You're mom won't even look like the same person. Especially if she's on steroids as well. It'll be a shock. Though I guess if she's halfway done you might know this already.

My mom got real bloated and started having extremely vivid dreams, which would wake her up at like 2am. I'd still be awake so I'd write them down for her. Or we'd watch Tosh.0 or something.

There's lots of good support out there, you should definitely get some. The pros can do stuff you can't, and ease your burdens overall. And consider internet options too. My mom liked to post on the Caring Bridge website so everyone could follow her progress.

It's good that you're involved. Very good. You're gonna feel helpless like all the time but you must always remember that you are helping, even if you're just watching TV with her.

There wasn't much chance for my mom in the end but the chemo did extend her life significantly and because she exercised rigorously she had a decent quality of life until the very end.

Obviously at the chemo stage nothing is guaranteed, but it sounds like you're doing everything right. Don't panic and seek help. This MacMillan deal sounds like just the thing from delirium's comment, personal nurses and therapists are invaluable.

Hope it all works out.
#12
My grandad went through chemo today for bowel cancer. He has had side effects like rashes, fatigue, nausea, and even collapsing once. He has to do it every three weeks until the end of May if he's healthy enough.
#13
Quote by Iluvpowerchords
Chemo sucks man. You're mom won't even look like the same person. Especially if she's on steroids as well. It'll be a shock. Though I guess if she's halfway done you might know this already.

My mom got real bloated and started having extremely vivid dreams, which would wake her up at like 2am. I'd still be awake so I'd write them down for her. Or we'd watch Tosh.0 or something.

There's lots of good support out there, you should definitely get some. The pros can do stuff you can't, and ease your burdens overall. And consider internet options too. My mom liked to post on the Caring Bridge website so everyone could follow her progress.

It's good that you're involved. Very good. You're gonna feel helpless like all the time but you must always remember that you are helping, even if you're just watching TV with her.

There wasn't much chance for my mom in the end but the chemo did extend her life significantly and because she exercised rigorously she had a decent quality of life until the very end.

Obviously at the chemo stage nothing is guaranteed, but it sounds like you're doing everything right. Don't panic and seek help. This MacMillan deal sounds like just the thing from delirium's comment, personal nurses and therapists are invaluable.

Hope it all works out.


Thanks man.

What do you mean with looking different? I know she's given Cortisone, but I haven't noticed anything. If anything, I think she looks younger. The hair loss and shaving it all off sucked big time, but apparently once the hair grows again it grows heavy and curly, or so I am told.

How was she like afterwards? Did it change her mentally?
#14
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer half a year ago, she was lucky because she had an agressive tumor but they found it right on time and her lymfe glands weren't affected.
She has now had all her chemotherapy (she needed 6) and is now on hormonal pills.

I think there are different types of chemo but what I would suggest you could maybe do with your mom is do a little research on the effects of her chemo.
For example my mom was told to put on nailpolish that strengthen your nails because they can become weak due to the chemo, all those little things can make a huge different in the chemo experience.
Also my mom's taste would be really different for several days (during her nausea and after) and she just couldn't eat a lot of things because they didn't taste right. Things she liked and could eat where white fish and potatoes
Altough she wasnt allowed to drink alot, when those effects were gone after 2 weeks she would allow herself to have a glass of wine and we would take her out to dinner a lot so when the next chemo came she would feel good and strong again and could do with two weeks of bland food.

Also what helped my mom is although she sometimes felt really nauseus and obviously lost all her hair she made sure she still looked good, she got a rally nice wig, went to a dermatologist and got a facial every month and also learned how to draw her eyebrows nice and natural. It made such a difference to her to still be looking her best and people would say she looked so good! Some people didn't even realize that she wore a wig and it's a big big boost for her ego
Also just support her, talk to her and tell het she can tell you anything, be open about her disease. Not talking about it makes it sort of like taboo and won't help her she will only feel more lonely and bad about herself.

Edit: did your mom also had a breast removal? my mom had, how is she taking it? May also be important to tell her she still looks good and that maybe to cover up you can buy her a nice scarf
~And the raindrops in the cars

Keep on falling from off the bars

Blocking out a good song

Playing on the radio~
Last edited by Thecla at Mar 18, 2012,
#15
Quote by Thecla
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer half a year ago, she was lucky because she had an agressive tumor but they found it right on time and her lymfe glands weren't affected.
She has now had all her chemotherapy (she needed 6) and is now on hormonal pills.

I think there are different types of chemo but what I would suggest you could maybe do with your mom is do a little research on the effects of her chemo.
For example my mom was told to put on nailpolish that strengthen your nails because they can become weak due to the chemo, all those little things can make a huge different in the chemo experience.
Also my mom's taste would be really different for several days (during her nausea and after) and she just couldn't eat a lot of things because they didn't taste right. Things she liked and could eat where white fish and potatoes
Altough she wasnt allowed to drink alot, when those effects were gone after 2 weeks she would allow herself to have a glass of wine and we would take her out to dinner a lot so when the next chemo came she would feel good and strong again and could do with two weeks of bland food.

Also what helped my mom is although she sometimes felt really nauseus and obviously lost all her hair she made sure she still looked good, she got a rally nice wig, went to a dermatologist and got a facial every month and also learned how to draw her eyebrows nice and natural. It made such a difference to her to still be looking her best and people would say she looked so good! Some people didn't even realize that she wore a wig and it's a big big boost for her ego
Also just support her, talk to her and tell het she can tell you anything, be open about her disease. Not talking about it makes it sort of like taboo and won't help her she will only feel more lonely and bad about herself.

Edit: did your mom also had a breast removal? my mom had, how is she taking it? May also be important to tell her she still looks good and that maybe to cover up you can buy her a nice scarf


Thanks! Excellent points.

Well, I know that my mom's cancer isn't affected by hormones but she will need infusions for a year after the chemo, if not, just different sort of pills.

The plan is to decrease it in size and then have surgery to take it out. It's still kinda big, but it used to be bigger, but it's still red and blue. With some luck it'll be so small that scar tissue will only have to be removed. They did tests everywhere and came to the conclusion that it has not spread.

But yes, the chance of a breast removal is there. Not sure how she feels about it but she says as long as she lives, that's fine. Did your mom have reconstruction surgery?

My mom's got a wig, it's very good and it suits her but she hates wearing it. She's had compliments as well but when she comes home she takes it off as quickly as possible because it's very uncomfortable. Did your mom's hair grow back any different?
#16
Quote by Philip_pepper
Thanks! Excellent points.

Well, I know that my mom's cancer isn't affected by hormones but she will need infusions for a year after the chemo, if not, just different sort of pills.

The plan is to decrease it in size and then have surgery to take it out. It's still kinda big, but it used to be bigger, but it's still red and blue. With some luck it'll be so small that scar tissue will only have to be removed. They did tests everywhere and came to the conclusion that it has not spread.

But yes, the chance of a breast removal is there. Not sure how she feels about it but she says as long as she lives, that's fine. Did your mom have reconstruction surgery?

My mom's got a wig, it's very good and it suits her but she hates wearing it. She's had compliments as well but when she comes home she takes it off as quickly as possible because it's very uncomfortable. Did your mom's hair grow back any different?


My mom had breast surgery as soon as she knew there was a tumor. She turned 50 this year, my father couldn't care less (anymore) how many breast she has (he loves her anyway) and she would rather know 100% sure the tumor was out than having a partial removement and never be sure.
She got a good bra with sillicone in it pretty quick and it looks just as if she has both her breasts! She hasn't really considered reconstructive surgery, the bra fits really well and she just doesn't want to be in the hospital anymore for a long time. An operation like that is quite invasive and she doesn't think it's worth it.

Has your mom shaved off all her hair yet? My mom got the advice that as soon as the hair falls of, she better shave everything off so my dad did that for her right away. The wig is much more comfortable like that but maybe if your mom doesn't like it she can buy a nice hat. There are websites that specialize in making cute hats for women with cancer and they are really comfortable! (I only know a dutch site but google can help you with that ) Also I remember now that in the beginning she would take it of as soon as she was home too but know she weares it all the time even right before she goes to bed.
I don't know about the hair growing back yet, it takes quite a lot of time after chemo for it to begin growing again. My mom is still pretty bald but she know had a glow of hair on her head. It seems like it's covering her whole head (sometimes it grows back really irregular). Also her eyelashes are already growing back a little!
~And the raindrops in the cars

Keep on falling from off the bars

Blocking out a good song

Playing on the radio~
Last edited by Thecla at Mar 18, 2012,
#17
Quote by Philip_pepper
Thanks man.

What do you mean with looking different? I know she's given Cortisone, but I haven't noticed anything. If anything, I think she looks younger. The hair loss and shaving it all off sucked big time, but apparently once the hair grows again it grows heavy and curly, or so I am told.

How was she like afterwards? Did it change her mentally?
When my dad had it, he went from looking like a middle aged guy to an old guy. A lot of that was the lack of hair, but it really did age him a lot. He also gained weight.

I'm not sure how common that is.

Good luck and hope she gets through it.
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