#1
i would drag my balls through 1 million miles of broken glass across the sahara desert with rosie odonnell's queef as my only air supply just to get a whiff of her panties after they had been donated to a thrift store and used as a cum rag by a HIV positive homeless man



I would drag my taint over an Arabs beard while she fingered my ass with her nose right after I took a dump on a stillborn baby and ran into a burning 97th story house covered in my mothers skin for protection just so I could smell the Diary your father wrote while banging your brothers sister



I would swim up the Amazon river with 50 lbs dumbbells tied to my dick and Oprah Winfrey’s queef as my air supply if it meant I could eat a nice sea food dinner with you over skype on a dial up internet connection



'I would dive into a pool of rusty nails and New Delhi sewer water while a rabid hamster is clamped on to my nutsack for dear life just to be mauled by a pack of rottweilers after I crawl out of the pool just to sit in the same chair her mother did back in her 5th grade english class '


lmfao
RIP Tom Searle.
Last edited by MH400 at Mar 21, 2012,
#4
I would scrub my dick with steel wool and decorate my balls with barbed wire and syringes, all the while fisting my own ass and sucking Susan Boyle's third nipple for the chance to scrub my dick with steel wool and decorate my balls with barbed wire and syringes, while fisting my own ass and sucking Susan Boyle's third nipple.
Sing me to sleep.
#6
I would intercourse that.
You can call me Aaron.


♠♣♥♦
Out on parole, any more instances of plum text and I get put back in...
#7
I would swim through a sea of Oprah's vaginal and anal fluids with only the sea water to drink for days if it would mean that I could breathe the same air as her ugly best friend from 1st grade just to have a scent that would remind me of her.
#9
Quote by King Donkey
These are far more disgusting than funny. Not amused.

Just sounds like things Kelly would post

Or that weird guy that makes loads of accounts to advertise his terrible cR22n.
#10
Quote by Portuguese_boy
I would swim through a sea of Oprah's vaginal and anal fluids with only the sea water to drink for days if it would mean that I could breathe the same air as her ugly best friend from 1st grade just to have a scent that would remind me of her.



repped
RIP Tom Searle.
#11
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
Last edited by slash_GNR666 at Mar 21, 2012,
#12
Quote by whoomit
Just sounds like things Kelly would post

Or that weird guy that makes loads of accounts to advertise his terrible cR22n.

Who is this second guy? I haven't seen him yet.
West Ham United
#13
"Her love is like dragging your balls across barbed wire"

First line from the song "That's What Dreams Are Made Of" by 'Tank' from their "Filth Hounds of Hades" album.
#15
These are hilarious, they have been one of my favourite internet things since I discovered them. I made up one that ended in

"..Just so I could have someone recount the tale of how they thought they saw her for a split second 200 yards away at a crowed train station" I can't remember the start of it though. The Skype Dial up one is a personal favourite
Last edited by MegadethFan18 at Mar 21, 2012,
#19
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I would drag my balls through some cotton wool, because it feels nice.

amidoinitrite?

Nope, but you're doing it better. Even though the subject is still a bit weird.
West Ham United
#20
Quote by King Donkey
Oh wow that is terrible.

I know

Quote by slapsymcdougal
I would drag my balls through some cotton wool, because it feels nice.

amidoinitrite?

#22
I would swim through a river of shit to suck off the last guy that fucked her.
Albums I Must Obtain
Call me Paul. I prefer that.
Quote by fretsonfire74
I think you're my soulmate
#23
For some reason, I honest to God can't tell if I like you or hate you...
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise