#1
I started writing raps...


drop knowledge with the force of tectonic plates shifting
your ideologies keep a grown girl thinking
bout how it is a pretty face can keep a man listening
even when she tears him down til he's silent and senseless

drop knowledge with the force of an iron fist
and if you play it right, you'll make a masochist
out of any fine fella whose only wish
is a dime who'll make him shake from the lines she spits

cuz your ass looks best with your theory of causality
and every dude swoons from your knowledge of reality
you'll make the heads turn with your fine intentionality
And call a brother out when he's bumpin on his fallacies
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
Actually quite good bud, I like it, though it depends on the flow it's put to
Quote by whoomit
smoke weed chill an watvch rugrats errday
#3
hey, hi. this is different. To be honest, I have a few qualms with this. Mainly, this is really missing closure to me. Either more of a punchline, or an extra stanza to wrap it up I think could help. A lot of the great quality lyrics/poetry I've read in that style relies on meaningful internal rhyming and alliterations, that when used correctly just blows your mind, right? but yeah, that can be (very) tough to produce.

I like what you were going for, it's necessary to go out of your comfort zone every once in a while. I hope all is well!
#4
thank ya. I need something new I think, this is something to get better at. Very nice hearing from you good sir
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#5
Quote by vintage x metal
I started writing raps...

Oh, lord...

Jk.

OT: I like how it almost switches perspectives in stanza two. That was well done. I mean, it's still obviously the same perspective, but I can picture that girl throughout the whole song. It's like she's a contrast to the ideology detailed in the rest of the song.