#1
I took the pen over the fire
let others tread the burning coals
come eagle, feed on my desire.

If words my liver still inspires
insanity will crack these muted walls
I took the pen over the fire.

In scripture I've been named a liar
as I have seen the titans fall
come eagle, feed on my desire.

In love, forgiveness is required
I carry man's last greatest toll
I took the pen over the fire.

If ever I'd be let retire
my gift will die and perish whole
come eagle, feed on my desire.

In pain I write what has transpired
I made the toughest choice of all
I took the pen over the fire,
come poets, feed on my desire.
This is not a pipe
#2
I'd like to say that drinking when you're sad is usually bad, but it makes for some damn good writing from you.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#4
I like that the pen is always over the fire. I don't really know what it means but it's a cool image for me.
#6
I adore your mind. The villanelle is possibly the only non-linear poetic form I like and it's great to see one here that is done so well.
#7
i still read your 'villanecho' sometimes. got me interested in villanelles. I've been challenged to write one someday so I might do that.

ending is very good. lines up nicely from the start.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#8
Even though I'm not a fan of writing very structured poetry myself, wow. This was really well done, but I keep tripping on "If ever I'd be let retire" for some reason.


But I'm a little confused whether you're writing this from Prometheus' perspective, or you rejecting his gift for writing. Either way I look at it is satisfying honestly, but I'm just wondering.
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Apr 3, 2012,
#9
Well, confusion is always good when it comes to poetry. God forbid it will all be upfront and direct.

In regards to your question, it is written from Prometheus' point of view, or rather from the point of view of someone who thinks themselves to be the equivalent of him. It is also a play on the famous expression "the pen is mightier than the sword", saying he chose the written word over the fire, the force.

At the same time it also plays on the fact that the pen, the written word, is also the myth of Prometheus retold and passed down through generations, so it creates somewhat of a paradox... I could go on forever about all the layers of thought that went into this poem, but then there wouldn't be much left for the readers to come up with their own stuff....

This is why I usually don't explain my work, but I thought exposing this thought process my help you appreciate it more in this case.

Hope that helps.
This is not a pipe
#12
I thought this was great, Carmel, and I did appreciate your brief explanation of this because now I can go back and read it a couple more times with much more clarity. Although I cannot see myself writing poems as structured as this, I appreciate those who do it so well.
here, My Dear, here it is