#2
Nice song, but the chord choices are a bit cliche. There are so many other songs with the same chord choices and progression. You've got a good voice, but you seem a little bored at times, maybe cause you're holding your voice back. Let it out. Put more feeling into your voice and this would improve a lot more. As it is, it sounds a bit monotonous most of the time. not a bad song, but it needs more work. Should tighten up your playing more too.
#3
Quote by Harlot Hero
Nice song, but the chord choices are a bit cliche. There are so many other songs with the same chord choices and progression. You've got a good voice, but you seem a little bored at times, maybe cause you're holding your voice back. Let it out. Put more feeling into your voice and this would improve a lot more. As it is, it sounds a bit monotonous most of the time. not a bad song, but it needs more work. Should tighten up your playing more too.


Yeah, I've done a better recording since but this video has gotten a surprising amount of view so I don't wanna change it :P
#4
I can't say I was feeling the vocals, man. If it's a Bob Dylan kind of thing you're going for, than that's totally cool. Just not necessarily my cup of tea, I suppose. Your songwriting in general is definitely good, man, so keep it up

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=29411734#post29411734

EDIT: Just watched Out of the Blue, and I have to say I really enjoyed that one a lot more. Your voice on that one was much better, and the guitar was a lot more interesting. So, write more songs like that one, haha
Honey mustard is best mustard.
Last edited by TearsForWater at Apr 1, 2012,
#5
The lyrics are well,just not good.I hate to be a prick because what do I know?
The progression is nothing new.I just feel you wrote this in two minutes and made a video.I'm sorry man, I just don't dig it.

I am not trying to attack you.I feel it is important to give an honest opinion. It's nothing personal.
Quote by lol2theworld
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I am inferior to him.


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#6
I don't think theres anything wrong with a basic progression, theres still great music made today with 3-4 basic chords. For an acoustic version of something you could layer with more tracks another time I feel the songs good. Nothing special but a nice casual pop song. I think maybe you could take a chorus out of there though.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1529697
#7
SweetenerCorp:

I whole heartedley agree that there is nothing wrong with basic progressions.I use them often.It's just adding something fresh to it that is needed.Something as simple as a different strum pattern.
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#8
Quote by kornflipsk8er
SweetenerCorp:

I whole heartedley agree that there is nothing wrong with basic progressions.I use them often.It's just adding something fresh to it that is needed.Something as simple as a different strum pattern.


Yeah, I appreciate the honesty man! I've improved it since but for some reason it's gotten loads of views so I don't wanna put up the new video :P My vocals aren;t that good yet but I've only been singing for a month.
#9
My opinion of this song is that I don't like it.

Your talent level is above the level of this performance. This problem is solved with consistent practice.
#10
You're getting the basics then.so yea, keep going with it.

cheers!
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!