Why Burger King is the G.O.A.T. Fast Food Franchise: A Guide to Eating Cheaply*

Poll: Favorite fast food?
Poll Options
View poll results: Favorite fast food?
McDonalds
15 12%
Burger King
25 20%
KFC
3 2%
Taco Bell
12 9%
Wendy's
19 15%
White Castle
3 2%
Subway
17 13%
Any pizza place
22 17%
Other
11 9%
Voters: 127.
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#1
The following is an essay written by the Queens rapper/producer Big Baby Gandhi when he was 17. I disagree with it, but it's just too well written and funny to not post. For the record, I think McDonalds is the best to eat at if you need to save some money (or guap if you will), but I don't have half as much experience as this guy does.

Why Burger King is the G.O.A.T. Fast Food Franchise: A Guide to Eating Cheaply*


*For purposes of this discussion, items that are too much guap have been avoided simply for the fact that I can’t just throw down ducats like that. I’m sure you can relate. This is essentially comparing dollar menus.

I know what you are thinking, Burger King? Yes. Burger King. There are a bunch of fast food franchises out there, and for those that care, the general consensus has remained pretty much among the top 5: KFC, Taco Bell, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and White Castle. (There are other candidates just as worthy though.)

Now, for a while, I was heralding Wendy as the victor. Look at the Wendy’s Value Meal and tell me that shit doesn’t knock. Do you know what the stack attack is? It’s a double cheeseburger. That’s two gotdamn pieces of beef. No other restaurant has dared to put that much meat into the hands of the economically disadvantaged. Plus, since Wendy’s began marketing the Stack Attack, they are putting onions and a tomato on that shit. It used to be just cheese and two beefs but now it’s like gourmet food. Also, you can’t front on the $1.39 Chili. That could keep a homeless person alive for like 3 days. That is why they beg for change. Wendy’s may be single handedly responsible for the continued existence of millions of bums across America. Also, they have the highest nugget to dollar ratio among value menus: 5 to 1. I know what you are thinking. “With all these accolades, why is Wendy’s not the G.O.A.T.?” But stick with me, asshole. While they do provide cheap goodness, it usually takes me buying 5 stack attacks to fulfill my burger needs. And I don’t have 5 dollars to throw down like that. Especially on the regular. I ain’t P. Diddy.

Now Taco Bell provides that real shit for low, low prices. Many of their tacos are under $1. The entire taco bell menu is based on getting yourself that good good for that low low. But if you look on their value menu, a lot of the stuff on there is some of the lower quality goods that they manufacture. One thing that you might want to get on in that value menu is that cheese and beef burrito. But $1.49?!?! This ain’t MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Another thing that is intrinsic to taco bell is the fact that if you ain’t got any meat in your taco, it starts to get stale after a while. (Ayyoo.) Most of the value menu tacos are usually just bean. Also, the same deal with Wendy’s applies here which is you end up needing to buy 8 tacos to fulfill your taco needs.

Moving on to KFC, nothing really needs to be said. It’s fried chicken and fried chicken is good. The thing is, the only way I would be down for some KFC is if I had some coupons or if I was going with white people who want to hang out, but the only place I could meet them was KFC, and I “accidentally” forgot my wallet. That’s right, pimp the system. But on the real, if KFC had some deal or value menu plan implemented, they would shoot right to the top. I blame this on the fact that they won’t let them use those 6 winged chickens anymore. That’s more wings for you, dunny!

Mostly the same description applies to Popeye’s. Their chickens aren’t as big as KFC but they taste better to me. Popeye’s loses some points for charging 25 cents for their honey mustard though. I ended up having to tell a cashier I’d eat her out in the storage room for some free sauces.

I don’t know why people put Mickey D’s up there like that. Its real shining quality though is the 2 apple pies for a dollar. Moving on.

White Castle. Damn I love White Castle. The price per burger is praiseworthy but those little burgers only fill you up if you bitchmade. I need to rock that crave case whenever I go. But that’s like 15 bucks. Maybe, if it’s like my birthday or I find a twenty on the floor, but other than that the situation looks bleak. But I will not lie. I don’t know if anything makes me as happy as eating 25 of those shits in a row.

Now, we come to Burger King. Have you seen the quality of goods on that value menu? The Whopper Jr. alone is enough to deserve its crown. Do you know how fat that Whopper Jr. is? It is fat and it is a dollar. It is the G.O.A.T. dollar item. Plus, Burger King got onion rings on their value menu. With real onions! Also, you know that Burger King’s trademark is that flame broiled burger and it makes a big difference. You get that feeling that you’re biting into one of those 9 dollar diner burgers. If you sneak some onion rings onto that burger, you my dude, are in heaven. Changing the game is the brand new BK Buck Double, two flame-fresh beef patties topped with pickles, ketchup, and melted American cheese. Burger King features two heavy burgers on its dollar menu that few restaurants could fuck with on their original menu.

Another thing, and I’m not 100% sure, is that every Burger King has refillable soda. That’s saying to the working man that “I know you’ve had a rough day and I’m not gonna G you by making you pay an extra 50 cents for a refill. I respect you more than that.” Other franchises could learn from this (I’m looking at you, Subway.) Alright, now comes what I feel is the best part about BK. If you look on the back of the receipt after a purchase, it says you can get a free whopper with the purchase of any size drink and fries, once you fill out a phone survey. Think about that. In between commercials for the Tyra Show, you call up and take 3 minutes to press some buttons on your phone. Then you get at BK and order a dollar fries, dollar soda, and you ask for your free whopper. That’s an entire meal for 2 dollars. Do you know how big that whopper is? Its diameter is a full inch wider than the Big Mac. For 2 dollars, you have a meal fit for a king. A Burger King.


http://bigbabygandhi.tumblr.com/post/3685381624/the-realest-shit-i-ever-wrote

Thoughts?
Last edited by genghisgandhi at Mar 29, 2012,
#2
I got food poisoning there several years ago. No thanks.

In - n - Out.
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-Jim Morrison
#6
As an employee of McDonald's, I felt it necessary to rep my boss and vote for McDonald's
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#8
Watched a man in a Burger King with unlimited refills order a large drink the other day. Failed to comprehend. Why not just by a small and use your unlimited refills?

Anyway, KFC is the best of the worst - there you don't get reconstituted crap that's mostly bread, unlike most fast food places.

Edit: Wait, I didn't notice that pizza places was an option. All pizza places > all other fast food.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Last edited by Todd Hart at Mar 29, 2012,
#10
I voted pizza places. I would say BK, but my local one recently removed Chicken Fries from their menu, so they can go get raped.
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#11
I gotta go In'n'Out as my personal fave, but I have never lived in a town with a BK, so I can't really disprove him.
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#12
That was actually worth the read.

Quote by Gibson_SG_uzr55
I voted pizza places. I would say BK, but my local one recently removed Chicken Fries from their menu, so they can go get raped.

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#13
Chick-fil-A

/thread
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#14
Wendy's is my favorite, but i eat at BK pretty much 1.5 times a week (averaged over a full year).
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#15
genghisgandhi, bro, we have the same taste in fast food

Oh, wait, it's not you. But I agree with the guy.
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#16
Quote by genghisgandhi
If you wanna talk like they do on the streets, emulate this essay. The slang is pretty amazing. For the record the dude is Indian btw.

For some reason that makes it funnier.
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#17
For taste, no.

But for value, sure. I respect his opinion.
*-)
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#18
Quote by Todd Hart
Watched a man in a Burger King with unlimited refills order a large drink the other day. Failed to comprehend. Why not just by a small and use your unlimited refills?

Anyway, KFC is the best of the worst - there you don't get reconstituted crap that's mostly bread, unlike most fast food places.

Edit: Wait, I didn't notice that pizza places was an option. All pizza places > all other fast food.

Makes perfect sense to me.
Bigger drink=larger capacity
larger capacity=longer consumption time
longer consumption time=more time between refills
more time between refills=more time to sit down
more time to sit down=more sitting down
more sitting down=less calories burned
less calories burned=fat

He was trying to gain weight.
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#19
McDonalds has mcdoubles and mcchickens for $1 and any size soda you want for a dollar. Best value imo, plus I hate BK.

Also, I'm pretty sure all ff restaurants have free refills as long as you are eating in.
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#20
BK has a boss drink machine.

that is all.
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#21
Quote by Todd Hart
Watched a man in a Burger King with unlimited refills order a large drink the other day. Failed to comprehend. Why not just by a small and use your unlimited refills?
Because when you leave you run out of soda faster. It's for the road.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

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#22
Quote by LesThanPaul
McDonalds has mcdoubles and mcchickens for $1 and any size soda you want for a dollar. Best value imo, plus I hate BK.

Also, I'm pretty sure all ff restaurants have free refills as long as you are eating in.

Most places where I live keep thier drink fountains behind the counter
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#23
I have landed in this thread, which means I will highjack it sometime sooner or later. I approve. For the record, KFC is the better fast food restaurant out there.
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#26
Quote by Harmonius
I have landed in this thread, which means I will highjack it sometime sooner or later. I approve. For the record, KFC is the better fast food restaurant out there.


KFC is the poor man's Popeye's.
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#27
Burger King used to be my go-to place, until they got rid of the Chicken Fries.

Now i'm all about the Whataburger.
Dat steak sauce, bacon, and jalapeno double cheeseburger. Mmmm.
#28
Quote by institutions
Burger King used to be my go-to place, until they got rid of the Chicken Fries.

Now i'm all about the Whataburger.
Dat steak sauce, bacon, and jalapeno double cheeseburger. Mmmm.

Don't tell me it's universal
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Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


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#31
Quote by Gibson_SG_uzr55
Don't tell me it's universal

Not sure if they still have them here. As they get rid of things or change later than most.
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#33
Quote by Gibson_SG_uzr55
Don't tell me it's universal


Idk man, I checked two places.
At the second one I asked if they had them and the girl said they don't make em anymore.
Then I told her it was still on the menu and she said she'd have to tell her manager.
#34
Quote by Gorelord666
KFC is the poor man's Popeye's.


Depends on where you are. KFC Hong Kong is better than KFC UK and USA in my opinions. I like Hardees as well. I don't like Wendy's too much.
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#35
KFC in Saudi Arabia is the bomb (lol).

Seriously, so good.

Actually, all fast food in Saudi Arabia is better than in America. It only took a week of being there for me to realize it.

Because of their strict religious standards, they only use high quality meats. In fast food. And after the currency exchange, the food usually ends up being the same price, if not cheaper than in the States.
#36
Quote by jetfuel495
KFC in Saudi Arabia is the bomb (lol).

Seriously, so good.

Actually, all fast food in Saudi Arabia is better than in America. It only took a week of being there for me to realize it.

Because of their strict religious standards, they only use high quality meats. In fast food. And after the currency exchange, the food usually ends up being the same price, if not cheaper than in the States.

god dayum, i'm hungry. lol

EDIT: i did lol at the bomb joke... i'm going to hell
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#37
Burger King is my favorite fast food place. Hands down. Has always been


Oh and they might start doing deliveries now
http://articles.boston.com/2012-01-17/business/30636276_1_food-burger-king-whopper


AND I KNOW this sounds like a horrible idea (because the consequences are) but this at the same time is awesome
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Thrustor: 2012
#38
I'm going Jack in the Box due to diversity of menu. It serves breakfast all day. It has 2 tacos for 99 cents, bomb ass ranch to dip those in. The jumbo jack has sliced onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, lettuce for like 1.39 I believe. Then every so often they have really good deals too.

I wish our town had Wendy's and Taco Bell. They would make a fortune.
#39
McD's makes the best tasting burgers imho.
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