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#1
So I'll start. In the middle of class while we were reading Romeo and Juliet, this guys stole hand sanatizer from the teacher's desk. The teacher, who weighs around 4 or 5 hundred pounds chases him around the room, and grabs him by the back of his shirt. He didnt stop, he just fell forward, and took her down with him. She fell on top of him
#5
In a science room a guy got up to fill his water bottle from a tap, the teacher spotted him, charged across the room at him and emptied his bottle of water over his head. Then he stood back and shouted "Pre-emptive strike!", before returning to his desk.
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#7
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#8
One of our substitutes had a prosthetic arm. HAHAHA
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#9
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Did he see a kitten?

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#10
I was teaching a group of 13/14 year olds the other day, helping a child at the front and when I looked up, a child at the back had climbed ON TOP OF a filing cabinet and was just stood on it like Godzilla with this dazed look like he didn't know how he got there. Wtf
#11
high school was nothing but fun.. i went to a technical school.. class was a group of 9 guys. with mostly very loose teachers. we went from one hilarious situation to the next
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#12
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
I was teaching a group of 13/14 year olds the other day, helping a child at the front and when I looked up, a child at the back had climbed ON TOP OF a filing cabinet and was just stood on it like Godzilla with this dazed look like he didn't know how he got there. Wtf

Whaat? Did you throw paper airplanes at him?
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#13
It was always funny when my classmates were forced to read aloud. Funny in a "I ****ing hate this country sometimes" kind of way, though.
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#14
This one teacher would always talk to this one guy in my class because he was always stoned.
Except she never talked to him about that.
She assumed that, because his eyes were red and watering, he was upset and having girl problems and kept trying to help him
#15
Alright well, this one time, I had this REALLY REALLY HOT teacher, like she was only about 24/25 too, fresh outta Uni, nicest ass you'd ever seen, and near the end of the school year she was talking about our progress and how well we'd done compared to in September, and she said 'look how far you've come ' so I shouted out from the back of the room 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID'. It is funny because I would f*ck her.


Oh and this one time her boob accidentally touched my shoulder. It was awesome.
#16
This one fat kid who was really fat
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#17
I had this awesome History teacher called Mr Morgan. When we were learning about The Blitz he'd make us all get under our desks and he'd throw basketballs on top of them whilst yelling. Another time he was pissed off with the exam board so he threw a load of exam papers in the bin and set it on fire. Unfortunately he also has quite a temper on him and would often smash his computer keyboard up with his fist in a rage as well as throw things and scream at students to, and I quote "Shut the fuck up." Those were still hilarious moments though!

Oh and our Physics teacher, Mr Eastwood who said to a Latvian guy who had recently moved to our country "So, are you here for the education or the health care?" He was suspended and replaced with a teacher who actually helped my mate brew beer in the Science lab!
Last edited by the_hoodster at Apr 3, 2012,
#18
Actually wait ive a better one, well actually a few. Once a bloke called graham was bet £50 he wouldnt shit himself in assembly, he did and several people near him where sick. He tried to hide the evidence by stuffing his soiled boxers in a bin in the library but they caught him and suspended him, he didnt even get the £50 quid.

Also a guy once appeared at the school talent show dressed as a vampire with bits of soggy biscuits stuck on his face and told some of the most sexist, racist and antisemetic jokes ive ever heard, in front of a crowd of teachers and pupils and parents. Thing is he had told clean jokes in his audition and was a really dull, quiet hard working chap so no-one saw it coming.

Finally a guy in the year above me set fire to his teachers shoelaces in chemistry with a bunsen burner and the teacher tried to strangle him and got suspended lol.
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#19
Quote by KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
Alright well, this one time, I had this REALLY REALLY HOT teacher, like she was only about 24/25 too, fresh outta Uni, nicest ass you'd ever seen, and near the end of the school year she was talking about our progress and how well we'd done compared to in September, and she said 'look how far you've come ' so I shouted out from the back of the room 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID'. It is funny because I would f*ck her.


Oh and this one time her boob accidentally touched my shoulder. It was awesome.


#20
Quote by Kensai
Whaat? Did you throw paper airplanes at him?


Haha no. I shouted at him to get down and luckily he did, because I didn't really have anywhere to go from there. I certainly wasn't going to pull him down
#21
oh yeah I'll actually contribute...

This random creepy guy subbed in... he's an old guy, once he was giving a presentation on drugs, "Those are the cheap drugs kids!" He's actually being serious.

One time he subbed math, he didn't know how to do any of our algebraic crap. He picks up a random book, "Shut up I'm trying to read!" and he yelled at a kid who was laughing at him for 20 minutes straight.
#23
We had a sub for a science lesson and a buddy of mine snapped off a tap in the lab, flooding it. The sub had no idea how to work anything in the lab so she spent 10 minutes running around the block trying to find out how to fix it while the classroom flooded i miss school
Hey there.
#24
We had a really OCD math teacher. If something wasn't symmetrical she could barely look at it sometimes. So we'd turn our papers in done upside down and backward. When she left the room we'd turn every single desk around then leave.

I had a really religious teacher. She treated us like 3rd graders. We had to write an essay and I wanted to do Wicca. She said there weren't enough sources in the library when there were, she was just being a zealot. So instead I did cults. I did the cult who followed Jim Jones, and Christianity.


EDIT: Oh, we got a good sub once. Really old woman, never knew anything about what she was subbing for. She was extremely religious. So much that she told a guy to his face that he was going to burn in Hell. She was extremely racist. She made derogatory comments about various races, religious groups, gay people...Everything. Everyone hated her but for some reason they kept hiring her.
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#25
Once we were in this music class. This kid found a trumpet in the back of the room. he thought it was a band students trumpet, so he removed the mouth piece and stuck it down his pants, and started rubbing it against his balls and dick for like a minute and then put it back on. A few days later, the teacher wanted to teach us about musical slurs, so he gets THE SAME trumpet from the back of the room, and starts playing "Take Me Out To the BALL Game" infront of the whole class..
#26
Quote by StewieSwan
It was always funny when my classmates were forced to read aloud. Funny in a "I ****ing hate this country sometimes" kind of way, though.


"Et wus ulwes..."
Did they read it like that, or are you not talking about how most American high school kids have trouble reading?
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


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#27
One time a funny black friend of mine got up in the middle of English class and mumbled "I'm goin to Hogwarts." He then proceeded to sprint at full speed into the wall.
#28
Me and my friend used to take our CD players and portable speakers with us to one of our classes. We were playing music loudly during class and the teacher didn't seem to mind. She left the room for a few minutes, so we decided to play "At A Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler while she was gone. We were all having a good laugh until she came back into the classroom. She was mortified at what she was hearing. We got lectured by her after class and weren't allowed to take our CD players or speakers into her class ever again lol.
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#29
Quote by StewieSwan
It was always funny when my classmates were forced to read aloud. Funny in a "I ****ing hate this country sometimes" kind of way, though.


I think you mean funny in an "I ****ing hate lazy parents who don't force their kids to do basic homework and studying early on such as learning reading skills" type of way

OP- Probably either screwing around with teachers and seeing their reactions or watching a fight break out.
Last edited by High&Mighty at Apr 3, 2012,
#30
My very first week of high school, I was in the locker room after gym class and I saw this heavyset guy who had just got out of the shower moonwalking back to his locker. Well, he slipped and fell face first onto the locker room floor, dripping wet, totally naked. Good times..
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#31
Quote by cfhdomination
Me and my friend used to take our CD players and portable speakers with us to one of our classes. We were playing music loudly during class and the teacher didn't seem to mind. She left the room for a few minutes, so we decided to play "At A Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler while she was gone. We were all having a good laugh until she came back into the classroom. She was mortified at what she was hearing. We got lectured by her after class and weren't allowed to take our CD players or speakers into her class ever again lol.





my god.

i wish i knew that song back in school. every day i tell you. every day
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#32
We used to always kick our football at kids walking by. One time this kid thought he would be tough and kick our football over the fence. As we were chasing him his shoe fell off, so we threw it up a tree. When he told on us to the vice principle, he was told that he shouldn't have kicked out ball over the fence. HA!

One time we went into construction class and our teacher wasn't there but there must have been a deliver just come in because there was large pieces of wood everywhere. So we built a fortress and hid in it when our teacher came back. HA!

Same teacher (construction), fell off his chair. HA!
Last edited by WhiskeyFace at Apr 3, 2012,
#33
Another story I just remembered: Right next to the wood shop, a brand new auditorium was being constructed. Sometimes the construction crew would leave their tools in the shop overnight. One day during class, a fellow classmate (named Peter) said "hey my dad could use those," and he ended up stealing the whole box of tools. A couple days later we heard a commotion and we saw one of the construction workers screaming his head off at our shop teacher. Apparently he blamed the teacher for stealing his tools.

In that same class, Peter and his brother David, used to have nail gun wars with eachother. Those two were freaking demented. They'd beat the hell out of eachother during class and usually laugh about it.
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#34
Damn. Just too many lolz to write, so here are a few. My friend placed a dead mouse in a girl's hoody. One day we all dressed up in the standard "bro" outfit (hollister, livestrong bands...). In wood shop my friend's project got destroyed via kickback on a table saw into a wall. The senior trip to Cedar Point which resulted in countless trolling of strangers as well as teachers. One guy I know used to come into study hall blazed all the time. I miss getting a good laugh every day of my life during high school
#35
I lit my hand on fire in the Spanish class I was TAing for once. I'm sure for the people who weren't on fire (from a misguided attempt at holding Germex in my hand and lighting it on fire then blowing it out) it was pretty entertaining. The teacher didn't notice until she walked to the back of the room and asked what smelled like burning hair/skin.

Its really my teacher's fault for not letting me write words of fire in the parking lot, and the fault of fluorescent lighting for making fire impossible to see.

Judging by this thread though, no American high school story will ever live up to Britain.

My British physics teacher told me he once faked his own suicide in high school. Right before exams, he dressed a dummy up in his uniform, had a friend drop it off the third story, past the teachers' lounge, then hid the dummy and pretended to be seriously injured. They almost expelled him. This is the same teacher who offered me money to yell "shut the **** up" to a speaker at an assembly.
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#36
Quote by StewieSwan
It was always funny when my classmates were forced to read aloud. Funny in a "I ****ing hate this country sometimes" kind of way, though.

my god this. some people can not f*cking read... it's cringeworthy
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#37
I went to a Catholic high school and there was this nerd that no one liked but he was also outgoing with his nerdyness so it didn't bother him.

But one day my friend hit him with a Bible and said "I'M GONNA BEAT THE HOLY CHRIST OUT OF YOU"

He transferred out after that year and got a 6 pack and became cool in his new school.
#38
We fed this kid an entire pack of chocolate laxatives, telling him that they were imported German candy. It was a dick thing that I'm surprised I actually went through with.

God, was it funny, though he crapped his pants and couldn't even walk straight. He threatened us saying that "He'd get us back!" but that day never came. At least, it hasn't yet.


Man, he was a real douche though. I no longer regret it.
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#39
There's a few but the standout would be when one of my mates went beserk at our history teacher in year 12. She was telling us a story on how to sneak booze into music festivals, then told us 'Don't got home and tell your parents this, especially you Liam.' At this point Liam stands up and gives her a huge spray, and ends by calling her a ****ing bitch, then storms out of the classroom muttering how much he hates her under his breath. We were all pretty shocked at the time, though in hindsight she was a bit of a bitch to him so he was bound to snap one day. Still hilarious though.
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#40
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
I was teaching a group of 13/14 year olds the other day, helping a child at the front and when I looked up, a child at the back had climbed ON TOP OF a filing cabinet and was just stood on it like Godzilla with this dazed look like he didn't know how he got there. Wtf


>_>

OT: One of my friends came to school dressed as Obama, mask and all, on Halloween even though we were told not to dress up. Today, my friend's ipod fell out of his pocket while a lunch lady was sweeping behind him, the lady tried to sweep it into her dustpan.

Edit: Also, one of my friend's set my jeans on fire during class, the whole class reaked of smoke.
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Last edited by Saint78 at Apr 3, 2012,
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