#1
When I was bored one morning I picked up a pen and wrote this, It was about my friend and his relationship problems. First time ever writing so its not high-quality stuff...

Go on and leave
You don't need to be
here with me
Go on and leave

I won't need her And
She won't need me
And when I get hungry
I will feed on me

I don't need you and
I don't owe you anything
You will get nothing and
I will stilll have me

I won't feed her and
She won't feed me
And when she gets hungry
She won't need me

Go on, but she
She just wont leave
And I know I won't
Won't let her go

I won't leave her and
She won't leave me
And when she gets hungry
She will feed on me

What's the verdict on this?
#2
It's very repetitive. It basically states & re-states the same idea over and over again. No stanza adds anything. It just seems to switch between the male and then the female perspectives. It's too simplistic, I think.
#3
Yea, like I said I was bored and I don't really write so there isn't much I expected from it. Just a bunch of rhyming, I will admit its very simplistic