#1
So, my pregnant older sister just called home, and she's in the hospital. She informed us that she is having her baby today! She was just going into labour, and her baby girl is on the way. I'm pretty excited!

Also, RIP daytripper75
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#3
I feel like I should be there to see my son born, but I'm too busy pretending I can't make it.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#4
Quote by daytripper75
I'm an uncle! I have been for like 2.5 years.

holy shit a ghost!!!

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#5
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
I feel like I should be there to see my son born, but I'm too busy pretending I can't make it.

Well played Horsedick, well played.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#6
Uhh.. Congrats?
Quote by strat0blaster
This is terrible advice. Even worse than the useless dry, sarcastic comment I made.

Quote by Cathbard
I'm too old for the Jim Morrison look now. When I was gigging I had a fine arse.
#8
Congrats dude.
My nephew just got married last weekend.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#9
I was an uncle the day I was born. My brother is 45 yrs old. I'm 17 next month.


lawl
Quote by DonGlover

You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Quote by Dreadnought
Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
Sharks Stanley Cup 15-16
Sharks Stanley Cup 16-17,,,,?
#10
Quote by skylerjames13
I was an uncle the day I was born. My brother is 45 yrs old. I'm 17 next month.


lawl


Yo' daddy a playaaaaaaaa!
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#11
I've been an uncle for around 4 years. Jus' keep 'em in line an' you'll be fine.
#12
Quote by Ed Hunter
Yo' daddy a playaaaaaaaa!

I'll bet he had a vasectomy too.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#13
Quote by Jackal58
I'll bet he had a vasectomy too.


No, he's still at it.
Quote by Ed Hunter
Yo' daddy a playaaaaaaaa!


Yes he is.
Quote by DonGlover

You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Quote by Dreadnought
Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
Sharks Stanley Cup 15-16
Sharks Stanley Cup 16-17,,,,?
#14
Quote by Jackal58
I'll bet he had a vasectomy too.




DNA test, now! Particularly as his dad would have to be like 61 at least one when he had the 17 year old which would make him 78 now. Yo, Skyler, is your dad dead?
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#15
Quote by Ed Hunter


DNA test, now! Particularly as his dad would have to be like 61 one when he had the 17 year old which would make him 78 now. Yo, Skyler, is your dad dead?


I don't like Jeremy Kyle, he's trying to take Maury's place.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#17
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
I don't like Jeremy Kyle, he's trying to take Maury's place.


Jeremy Kyle is real life, gritty, bad mother****ing shit. You're only bitter because they didn't take Graham Stanier, director of aftercare with them and got that stupid bitch Dr Janet who doesn't do anything. Though I did like the episode where that woman turned out to be a right dirty prozzie and claimed it was because she was addicted to getting money. And there was some oldish dude called Leonard and he was black and was all like "Aw heeeeeeeeeell nawwwwwwwww" in his head and then stormed off and his retard son was all like "well shit Jermy, maybe I gon' get back wit her" and then all the audience were like "Shit nigga, what are you thinking?!"

Still not as fun as the UK version though.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#18
Quote by skylerjames13
No, he's still at it.


Yes he is.

Apparently so is your mom.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#19
Quote by Jackal58
Apparently so is your mom.


God, I knew you were old, but I didn't think you were that guy's dad and in your 70s.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#20
Quote by Ed Hunter
Jeremy Kyle is real life, gritty, bad mother****ing shit. You're only bitter because they didn't take Graham Stanier, director of aftercare with them and got that stupid bitch Dr Janet who doesn't do anything. Though I did like the episode where that woman turned out to be a right dirty prozzie and claimed it was because she was addicted to getting money. And there was some oldish dude called Leonard and he was black and was all like "Aw heeeeeeeeeell nawwwwwwwww" in his head and then stormed off and his retard son was all like "well shit Jermy, maybe I gon' get back wit her" and then all the audience were like "Shit nigga, what are you thinking?!"

Still not as fun as the UK version though.


His show is "too serious" I like my trashy shit like Jerry Springer and Maury. I want to see trailer trash sleeping with their McDonalds coworkers for a double cheese burger, or black people coming on to Maury 7 different times with 14 different men to figure out who they baby daddy is, and each time say "I'm 1000% sure he is the daddy!" and be proven wrong every time.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#22
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
His show is "too serious" I like my trashy shit like Jerry Springer and Maury. I want to see trailer trash sleeping with their McDonalds coworkers for a double cheese burger, or black people coming on to Maury 7 different times with 14 different men to figure out who they baby daddy is, and each time say "I'm 1000% sure he is the daddy!" and be proven wrong every time.


Watch the UK version. It's pretty much that sort of shite. Only it's not staged which makes it even more amusing you see.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#23
Quote by Ed Hunter
God, I knew you were old, but I didn't think you were that guy's dad and in your 70s.

Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#24
remember to buy him porno mags and cigarettes. thats what good uncles do.
Remember through sounds
Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
-Modest Mouse, "Novocaine Stain"
#25
Quote by Ed Hunter
Watch the UK version. It's pretty much that sort of shite. Only it's not staged which makes it even more amusing you see.


I live in the US, we get the shitty version.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#26
Quote by Jackal58
Apparently so is your mom.


You bastard


Quote by DonGlover

You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Quote by Dreadnought
Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
Sharks Stanley Cup 15-16
Sharks Stanley Cup 16-17,,,,?