#1
I've just finished three instrumental pieces that I think are worthy of being torn inside out, leftwards and rightwards and backwards and frontwards by UG. Two of them have bee posted on here (In T&C) and I have used the feedback to make them better (I think).

For Fans Of: Angra, Anubis Gate, Beyond Twilight, Cynic, Death, Dream Theater, Exodus, Ihsahn, Jeff Loomis, Machine Head, Necrophagist, Nevermore, Opeth, Scar Symmetry, Steve Vai, Stratovarius, Symphony X.

These compositions can be found on my profile or on my Soundcloud.

In the even that the link above doesn't work and you have to go to my profile the pieces are called:

Sanity's Departure
Lunatic Fringe
Promised Eternity

I'm happy for anyone to just comment on one of them and that will count as a C4C.

Hope you all enjoy!
Last edited by HaydenHohns at Apr 10, 2012,
#2
This is a general review of all 3 songs. The first thing i noticed is all the guitar tracks that just appear out of nowhere, play a few notes and then disappear, and I really don't like this, it makes your songs sound really artificial and ridiculous when the volume levels are bouncing all over the place for the whole song. It just sounds completely dehumanised and sterile, and I think instead you should make it sound more natural by having two or three guitar tracks that go for the length of the song, harmonising and playing all the crazy stuff you have going on. Don't get me wrong, you have some great interplay between the guitars but you need to make it sound more natural.

You pack a lot of ideas into a short space of time and the tempo and feel of the tracks constantly changes and I found it really difficult to remember anything from the songs, because they just seem to pass by in a flurry of notes. I'm sure there's a lot of thought going into your tracks and they're not just the random mass of notes that they sometimes sound like, but you need to give the listener time to dissect an idea before moving on to the next one, and you need to let your tracks breathe for a bit instead of jamming as many schizophrenic riffs and leads in as you can.

Try not to lose sight of the fact that metal is meant to be heavy, not just technical and flashy, and that you should be able to pick out a groove and bang your head to it - I found this hard to do with your songs.

You are very talented and proficient at playing guitar and this review was probably more negative than it had to be, but I find that criticism is usually more helpful than praise. You have a lot of promise, stay metal. Feel free to pick a song or two from this set for a review.
#3
@crushingmetal: First of all I thought I should say I genuinely appreciate your honesty. I also don't mind negativity when it's wrapped in a package with constructive criticism (I actually I'm very happy to get it).

Second, there are no tempo changes in each of these pieces whatsoever, I can whip out the GP5 notation for proof.

On to the bulk of what you say, I've actually been told this by numerous people and I genuinely have attempted to do this. Did you miss anything? I mean I've developed several themes in each of the pieces (I particularly like the Phrygian Dominant modulation in Promised Eternity) and carefully arranged each of them to correspond with dynamics and climaxes et cetera. I really don't know what else I can do. Can you recommend any pieces for which I can find notation of? A band or artist? Thanks anyway, I appreciate you stopping by.

Finally, where am I supposed to reply to one of your pieces? I picked Machinations because it's the longest but I can't find any topics here. I'll just post comments on your Soundcloud unless otherwise.

Thanks again!
#4
Hey man, I really like your stuff, it's so hectic and trippy. If you're looking to bring a bit more heaviness into it, I would recommend having the rhythm guitars mixed a bit louder, and maybe try to bring the drums to the front a bit more. The kick drum and snare really go a long way to add that punch and bounce to metal, so bring them out a little and add a bit of extra oomph to the kick

But like the guy above me said, INSANE guitar playing dude. Keep up the good work!

Here's a link to my latest song if you feel like giving it a listen/critique!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcClZ3-s1WQ
#5
I would recommend Digital Veil by The Human Abstract, Rareform by After The Burial and Unquestionable Presence by Atheist for really complex but natural sounding stuff. Also IX Equilibrium by Emperor and Chaos of Forms and Existence is Futile by Revocation for memorable, headbanging stuff.

Thanks for your review, I've been told by many people that I need to stay in tune!
#6
First off, I want to say, that was some damn good work. The only thing I can say that needs improvement, which has nothing to do with your playing, is like some others have said already, just mix the final product a little better. All the guitar parts are nice and clear, but you can hardly hear the drums or bass! With that being said, Lunatic Fringe was my favorite. The riffs and licks in that number had me interested from start to finish. I love the almost psychadelic phaser/echo on the clean parts in Promised Eternity. Sanity's Departure was an all around good piece. Good job!

You can check out my latest works either at my profile, or on soundcloud.com/crimsonshroud
#7
@le screamist: Thanks so much for that. I'll pocket that information so that when I release this as an album, it will sound much better. Funny... I always thought I wasn't that technically advanced compared to people like Chris Broderick or Rusty Cooley. Besides, this stuff was easy for me to play (Well Sanity's Departure gave me a little trouble but not too much). Not trying to brag or anything, just an observation. Thanks anyway. I've also C4C'ed you since writing this post.

@crushingmetal: I already listen to all of those minus THA and ATB because they write too many breakdowns. I know the feeling to have recorded a massive piece and then be told you aren't in tune. It bites. But just spend a minute fine tuning your guitar every time you start recording (Not each take but every time you start up your DAW provided you're tracking).

@CrimsonShroud: Thank you so much. These pieces will hopefully sound much better once they're on the full album. That phaser was a happy accident. I accidently flicked it on with my effects and didn't realise it was on when recording. I then listened to it and thought it sounded cool so I left it on. I've just finished listening to both of your pieces and I'll add some comments on your Soundcloud. Thanks again!

Thanks for all the feedback, I really do appreciate it guys.
#8
I enjoyed all 3 songs. Composition wise it's great stuff, if a bit chaotic, but that's a matter of subjective opinion I guess.

The only constructive comments I can bring is that I'd personally try to make the mix a bit smoother. Namely add more warmth/low end to the rhythm guitars and cut some mids from the lead guitars. But that's just me. Also adding a bit of reverb on the leads might smoothen things up nicely.

That's about all I can try to help with. Otherwise: Great talent. Good playing. Keep it up.

Here's my latest creation. Feel free to give it a go and type out what you disliked'.

Cheerio'
#9
Promised Eternity- All the leading playing is very good and with a nice tone. The rhythm guitar sound is lacking some balls and the drum sound could also be better, so it doesn't sound as heavy as it could. The clean guitar with effects sounds really cool though. So yeah the composition and playing are very good, I just feel the production could do with some work.

Lunatic Fringe- The intro is cool, would sound even better if it had that heavier sound I was talking about. Again the lead playing is excellent. The quieter parts are good to add some variety of textures to the song.

Sanity's Departure- Bass sounds cool in the intro. The heavy guitar at 0:20 seems to cut off a bit too quickly so it sounds kinda unnatural, well this happens a couple of times in the song actually. As before I like the song.

Overall, excellent music, just the production that could be improved really. First two songs were my favourite. I followed you on soundcloud


C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1523807
#10
@LunyAlex: Thanks so much for the praise and advice. I'll make sure that the final versions adhere to the advice given on this thread. I've also edited my original post in your thread for the C4C.

@MetalCommand: Thanks so much. I'll definitely take your advice into consideration.

I'm following you now as well.

Thanks again for all the advice. It's really helpful.
#11
I think it's obvious you got talent, but, for my tastes these songs were too messy. It's not only composition-wise, it's equally if not more due to the recording itself. I know it's difficult to get a good tone to it all with what (I guess) is pretty basic recording equipment. The thing is, it feels like that for this kind of music to work out, everything needs to be hi-fi so that you can discern all the things going on. The drums are really mechanic aswell, but again I know that is hard to avoid without having an actual drummer. As has been mentioned, all the guitar tracks kinda jump in and out throughout the song and disrupts the flow in many places.

I'd say turn down the complexity a bit, try something just a little more simple and try to make it sound good. Again, it's not your playing, technique isn't an issue, but space out the "goods" a little more, add some breathers every now and then. And above all play around with the mix some more, separate the tracks (by EQing, effects, panning etc.) so that leads and rhythm is more distinct.

So in summary:
Playing/technique - Good
Ideas - Good
Arrangement - Needs some work
Mixing - Needs some more work

IMO Hope it was helpful.

You can check out my stuff here: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1532343
Last edited by Splitvision at Apr 11, 2012,