#1
Hello UG, i'm in the process of writing a song with the help of a buddy (He wrote drums and the first breakdown) for a band I recently joined. I'm a self taught guitarist and that's really my sole instrument. I've been interested in songwriting for awhile now but I never complete my music projects due to frustration from writers block... So maybe you guys and gals can help me with some creative criticism!

First off...

- I JUST started listening to metalcore and the like so I pretty much wrote from inspiration that seemingly came out of my butt, so apologies if it isn't what i say it was

-Intro might be changed due to sounding a bit like a black veil brides and an avenged sevenfold song

- The synth part doesn't sound too good and I couldn't make it resemble anything like the FL program.

- Since I have gp6 and not gp5 there may be some errors in my export to that file type.

and thanks for listening!
Attachments:
Hay Needlestack.mid
Hay Needlestack.gpx
Hay Needlestack gp5 fix.gp5
#2
umm.... the first riff... yeah i'll just let someone else say it.
#3
The opening sounds practically identical to Avenged Sevenfold's Unholy Confessions. In fact, it's almost an exact rip off.

There. said it.
#4
Yea and that really bums me out. I haven't even heard that song before I wrote this (my bandmates tipped me off) so it surprised me a lot. That part is definitely going to be taken out and replaced.

Anything else about it?
Last edited by ratiugreyalp at Apr 14, 2012,
#5
Im wondering why people keep doing these metalcore/post-hc songs... They all sound the same and this isnt a exception. This bored me alot
Metal is like a apple, no-one likes the core.
#6
Quote by Gessu
Im wondering why people keep doing these metalcore/post-hc songs... They all sound the same and this isnt a exception. This bored me alot


Exactly. This song is an unoriginal, generic cliché of an outdated genre. You really need to go back to the drawing board. Don't mean to be harsh, it's written for what it is, but the best advice I can give is to steer clear of this stuff.
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#7
Quote by symphyses
The opening sounds practically identical to Avenged Sevenfold's Unholy Confessions. In fact, it's almost an exact rip off.

There. said it.


Exactly what I thought, yet some original parts in it which I actually liked, but the rest is just too much A7X.
#8
Thanks for the replies guys even though im bummed. Wow this really is too bad! Okay well I can't really take the band in a new direction by myself, but how can I make it more original? Any riffs that I can keep?

And about this genre... I didn't like it when I first listened to it but I didn't know it was outdated? Outdated by what? The couple gigs I have played were very happening and the whole community is awesome so there definitely is a great fan base even in places like small town Iowa where I'm from. Interesting though.
#9
People who like it like it, people who don't .. reeeally don't. The fact is my friends who play this style play it because they find it fun and it's good for getting the crowd energetic. You know?

From a musician's point of view there's nothing new about the genre. It lost its flare a decade ago.

I'd say though that it would be fairly easy to keep the general ethic, feel and energy of the genre but switch the riffs up a bit. Every now and then a band comes along who do just that, they don't listen to what others are doing they do what feels right to them and somehow they end up doing something new at the perfect time.

The bridge and its juxtaposition to the other sections really shows me that you have some interesting ideas in you. The things that might be holding you back could be the chugging breakdowns - though they're ridiculously fun live - there's nothing that.. fresh about them. Something I do to make more conventional sections/pieces of music seem more interesting is try and work in more chordal ideas, you know, use the key your writing in to fullest extent.

In a band situation, the only thing to do is play what comes natural to you guys as a group. If you really do want to try and influence things then influence it through your playing. Do something in keeping with the band but unexpected. Like... I'm not a "good" guitarist in any sense of the word, but I've been told I come up with some really grabbing and quirky ideas, riffs, etc. It helps... some times.

Keep working at it and above all else, make the music you love, not the music you think will be recieved well by any particular group of people. If that's metalcore then so be it. Its not impossible to do something meaningful, not at all impossible.
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Apr 14, 2012,