KGguitar
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2012
245 IQ
#1
He hasn't really got the time for you
But ten pints down and he will just make do
something rarer than a virgin birth
an honest man who's gifted with reserve

There are no depths to which he wont sink
a sequin shirt, a not-so-subtle wink
you see in his eyes what he wants to do
dont you know that he's no good for you?

Chorus
Nine hours later when you wake up in his bed
He'll make you wish you'd stayed at home in stead
Nine months later with pain etched on your face
The newest member of the human race.

A baby cries at night, a mother wakes
reminder her of what life gives and takes
the eyes that once met hers across the bar
now strapped into the back seat of her car

Chorus
Nine hours later when you wake up in his bed
He'll make you wish you'd stayed at home in stead
Nine months later with pain etched on your face
The newest member of the human race.

And when she asks him where he's been, she gets a mumbled response about Jane Fonda on his TV screen... (x4)

Guitar solo

heres a link to a demo we cut of this tune so you can get the idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2yDu-wslrs&feature=relmfu

crit for crit with anyone whos up for it

cheers folks
crazysam23_Atax
Feuergesicht
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#2
The first two stanzas seem to bring to my mind a guy who seduces the girl. He tells her he loves her & such, but I could easily see him cheating.

The fourth stanza seem to imply that he's not there. He's in the picture, but he doesn't pay attention to her or the child. The bridge further supports that to me.

Anyway, that's my interpretation of it. I like it, because it doesn't condone the actions of a man who isn't there to be "the man". It's really stark but that's the beauty of it. Well done!
KGguitar
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2012
245 IQ
#3
he's a sleazebag. a one night stand merchant who just wants the shag cause hes been hitting the drink (like me tonite!) . he doesnt even tell her he loves her, she just so desparate to feel wanted, probably young and insecure. The appearance of the child, unwanted by either party in the equation, has tied him to her, but he cant be ****ed with it because he just wants to keep on doing what he does, and she has to bear the burden and she resents it. I see her as young and naive, him as older and callous.
It's not just a criticism of his behaviour though, its her mistake as well and she has to live with it.

I suppose reading it now its a parallel between his uncaring attitude and her naivety and how both of those character flaws have lead to this child being brought into the world in less than good circumstances.
Last edited by KGguitar at May 4, 2012,
AcidParadox
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2012
528 IQ
#4
I really like the visualization in this piece. It really makes you pity the girl, but also you realize that it was her own naivety and carelessness that got her in this situation. The dad's an arsehole though. The demo's great, too! I liked the pictures in the video.
tobinobin
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2012
289 IQ
#5
I like it, catchy and simple but has a good sound (the song) and the rhyme works well.