rushmore
bblblubluewhale
Join date: Jan 2007
3,870 IQ
#1
sailing ships pass—we thank, or
think—outside our eyelids. a steam
engine wakes afloat in the belgium sea,
until then, silent in its passivity-
narrowlee, barrolee, entombing
the mountains beneath, loving,
lulling, eavesdropping coyly-

your face is earth, monsieur,
you said as i read from the foot of
your bed: "no head unwed in the
wooden den, no thread no spindle,
just love instead."

i've never slept through a thunderstorm,
cuddled like lightening bolts, symmetrical,
sentimental-we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things; young mountains, ah! an aesthetic
revolution, ships sailing over yonder in the
clouds that resemble waves of water,
lips kissd, bow tie-d, under such majestic
mysteries one must surrender to the
profoundness of their ignorance,
the specifics of loneliness,
the lasting impression one possesses after
seeing the moon for the first time, that tingling
feeling of tiny crab claws pinching your eyelids
to make the tears come out, finally…

all breed such an auspicious familiarity;
i’ll keep rolling my rock up that hill,
sisyphus;
happiness is the
ends of it.
Last edited by rushmore at May 19, 2012,
culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
Join date: Jun 2004
400 IQ
#2
God-****ing-tier. 11/10. Blah blah have my children/I'll have yours etc. Yesyesyes.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

relativity
International Badass
Join date: Jun 2009
314 IQ
#3
Really sweet lyrics, friend!

A well-blended mix of free-style, alliteration, and imagery that culminate in a lyrical orgy or awesome.

Keep it up!
Cobrevolution
non sum qualis eram
Join date: Jan 2009
1,053 IQ
#4
we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things;

little skillful things like this make me envy you so much.

this was glorious, though.
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


OKSauce
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2011
790 IQ
#6
Brilliant. I detected a Beat influence, perhaps mistakenly. Nothing there that I would change. Excellent job
AngryGoldfish
do I "urk" you?
Join date: Jul 2005
6,605 IQ
#7
Another scorcher. Please keep writing. Whatever you do, keep writing. You have not only immense talent but a good heart and a dedication to letting it speak.
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
Join date: Sep 2006
5,308 IQ
#10
mmmmmmm matthew...
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

Petey Cook
UG Newbie
Join date: Dec 2005
688 IQ
#12
we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things


But we don't. The English language is not geared towards such ends. Rhyming words rarely have similar meanings, if ever, really.

Anyway. These lyrics are cute, but the wordplay does you a disservice. It's cute, but clunky and heavy-handed.

Rock On
Pete
Newest Lyrics:
[url="http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=727775[/url"]Pattern Recognition

Short Stories:
Anniversary
jiminizzle
Lost Pilot
Join date: May 2006
2,775 IQ
#13
I read it a little differently- the words sounding like one another don't necessarily mean the individual words are meaning the same thing (at least I'm pretty sure not), but it's definitely a subtlety to pay attention to. Good to see you around again Petey. Still rockin' on and all.

But I loved this matt. It's just what I needed after watching the storms roll in from this tree by the astronomical observatory at the top of the hill with a book of William Stafford and then catching one bus then another through the torrents to get home (and the cutest bus driver, she was so beautiful in the rain, I even asked if they were hiring just to talk to her (and because I need a job)). Have you ever read Maurice Manning? I'm just about to order his book, Bucolics, on recommendation from a professor. It seems like something you might like.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
rushmore
bblblubluewhale
Join date: Jan 2007
3,870 IQ
#14
The speculation and contemplation that accompanies wondering, and really to me is inherent in the act of rumination, is wandering. I'm always wandering in moments of true wonderment.

Therefore, words that sound like one another to describe the same thing...

Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
rushmore
bblblubluewhale
Join date: Jan 2007
3,870 IQ
#15
Quote by jiminizzle
I read it a little differently- the words sounding like one another don't necessarily mean the individual words are meaning the same thing (at least I'm pretty sure not), but it's definitely a subtlety to pay attention to. Good to see you around again Petey. Still rockin' on and all.

But I loved this matt. It's just what I needed after watching the storms roll in from this tree by the astronomical observatory at the top of the hill with a book of William Stafford and then catching one bus then another through the torrents to get home (and the cutest bus driver, she was so beautiful in the rain, I even asked if they were hiring just to talk to her (and because I need a job)). Have you ever read Maurice Manning? I'm just about to order his book, Bucolics, on recommendation from a professor. It seems like something you might like.


Sounds like a wonderful night. And I hope you get the job, ha. I haven't. I shall check it out. I'd respond more but I'm half asleep, so thanks, sir.