RAJIV ROCKZ
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2009
739 IQ
#1
Ok, this is song written by me. Its called A better day. Positive and negative criticizes all are welcome. Just let me know how does it feels????

A BETTER DAY
A new sunrise, frail hopes for a beginning
But it’s the same question, “Is life worth living?”
Life is like burning in flames of hell
To save me does God have an angel?

Radios sing of war and blood shed
Fear runs in vein, no place safe for the head
It’s not the world that I’m living for
Cause I’m master of my soul, not a slave for war

It was a question, but now it's a wish
Will the war cease? Will I see peace?
It's the change in us that will light the way
Only then we can hope for a better day.

The world is bathed in the blood of violence
Is there a signal hiding in God’s silence?
I wish when I open my eyes next day
Alien peace to this world has made its way

It was a question, but now it’s a wish
Will the war cease? Will I see peace?
It’s the change in us that will light the way
Only then we can hope for a better day.

A new sunrise, frail hopes for a beginning
And it’s the same question, “Is life worth living?”
Life is like burning in flames of hell
To save me does God have an angel?
Last edited by RAJIV ROCKZ at Sep 19, 2012,
PMR24
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2007
197 IQ
#2
Nice man. I like these lyrics, they kinda fell in somewhat the same style i write. Good job on this and really good job on the chorus too.
RAJIV ROCKZ
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2009
739 IQ
#3
Quote by PMR24
Nice man. I like these lyrics, they kinda fell in somewhat the same style i write. Good job on this and really good job on the chorus too.

Thanks for your nice words man... would love to read your songs too...
ironicsQuid
Registered User
Join date: May 2012
166 IQ
#4
I liked it but maybe change "does God have an angel" because it feels like a forced rhyme. Also in the 4th stanza in the last line if you removed the word "it's", it'll flow better.
RAJIV ROCKZ
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2009
739 IQ
#5
Quote by ironicsQuid
I liked it but maybe change "does God have an angel" because it feels like a forced rhyme. Also in the 4th stanza in the last line if you removed the word "it's", it'll flow better.

Thanks for your really valuable suggestions, I will consider that. Will make changes while I scribble them down freshly in my diary... Thanks a lot again.... Cheers!