SilverDolphin
The Ghost Passenger
Join date: Mar 2011
472 IQ
#1
I had a rush of creativity today while messing with sounds on my yamaha keyboard and composed this, "Petrichor", piece that reflects how I feel when it rains.
But now I'm stuck and I don't know how to improve this. What do you guys think? And in what genre is it considered in?
I played all the instruments on my keyboard except the chimes, so please excuse my terrible playing :S
http://soundcloud.com/lost-in-energy/petrichor-test-complete
Thanks and enjoy! C4C of course.
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#5
The beginning right away reminds me of a couple of songs from Fang Island's new album. If it weren't for the violins (I think) this would remind me of a song from Clannad too. As it is this is a very pretty song, but I think it could use more of a climax near the middle-end. Could be great for some BGM
CerebralEdge
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2008
812 IQ
#7
That was interesting track. I really dug the melody at the end; it almost reminded me of one of those old school music boxes with the rotating pins.

Definitely had an uplifting feel to it, but would benefit from some percussion for sure. Are there drum sounds on your synth?

Keep working on it, perhaps try consolidating it down to only the best sections and fleshing them out more.
Mephaphil
No empty frets.
Join date: Apr 2012
1,956 IQ
#9
I like it!

It could have been tighter in places, but the arrangement really complimented the different layers you had going on.

I'll be listening to your other stuff
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Xnulian Rrudho
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2009
66 IQ
#11
The bass note or cello-ish note in the third chord of your opening sequence doesn't work, for me. Couldn't get any more technical about it, off the top of my head...maybe the bass needs to be an octave lower or something? Other than that it's a nice intro.

Big fan of the second section. I think it loses its way structurally a bit when it fades away to just the chimes for a few seconds; sometimes an unexpected move in a song is great, but that sounded more to me like something you'd done for lack of other ideas about where to take it. The outro was nice again though!

It feels like something Trent Reznor might have put on NIN's Ghosts 1-36 album, at the moment; i.e. it has the beginnings of something very memorable, but hasn't quite got there yet. Thing is, he released that as an album, whereas you can still work on this one! So basically if I were you I'd look to build on some of the good ideas in it and make it more coherent. Good start though.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1555199
Xnulian Rrudho
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2009
66 IQ
#13
Wouldn't bother tbf, if he/she posts proper comments then they'll get crits or helpful replies themselves, if not they won't! As it is I guess it's just a harmless bump for your thread
SilverDolphin
The Ghost Passenger
Join date: Mar 2011
472 IQ
#14
Xnulian Rrudho, thanks for the comment!
The third note audible is actually the minor 6th of the actual bass note that unfortunately isn't very audible. That's why it sounds off.
This piece isn't really complete yet. The fade off to chimes was because of a tempo change. I'm still trying to figure out where to take this piece. That's why I posted it! I love UG