#1
I’m all alone, more or less.
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice.
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.



Series X is out in a few weeks, I am excited to see if it's any good because Red Dwarf is epic.

Discuss, or go away!
#3
Looked it up and woah, I had no idea they were redoing it

Definetely going to watch this.
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#4
You smeghead.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
I'm gonna get you little fishy....I'm gonna get you little FISHY!
BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.


#6
I for one am not looking forward to series X.

Red Dwarf is very much of it's time, if they stick to the old style it'll bomb without a trace, and it's unlikely that any studio will have picked it up. That indicates to me that they've changed the style of it, and as such, it's no longer Red Dwarf.

I'm scared because I don't want my heart broken again. I was excited for series IX, but it was awful. Even Series VIII wasn't great.

However, I still wear my Red Dwarf tshirts with pride!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#7
I only got to about season 6 or 7 and then no further

I will get there though!
#8
In honour of this however, I've had an avatar refresh! A bit of trivia: Kryten is the first mechanoid ever to give a human character the finger.

Also, I made a Red Dwarf group on here years back, I wonder if it's still floating around?
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#9
Quote by JackalUK

Discuss, or go away!


Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

I have low expectations. RD7 was pretty bad, RD8 was horrific, RD9 was a slight improvment but still miles away from the heyday of Duane Dibbley, Tarka Dahl, Cloister the Stupid and the red alert bulb.
#10
Best conversation in Red Dwarf:

Lister: Cat.
Cat: Mm?
Lister: Did you ever see the Flintstones?
Cat: Of course.
Lister: Do you think Wilma's sexy?
Cat: Wilma Flintstone?
Lister: Maybe we've been alone in deep space for too long but every time I see that show, her body drives me crazy. Is it just me?
Cat: I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman who ever lived.
Lister: That's good, I thought I was goin' strange.
Cat: She's incredible!
Lister: What do you think of Betty?
Cat: Betty Rubble? Well, I would go with Betty...but I'd be thinkin' of Wilma.
Lister: This is stupid. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?
Cat: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
Lister: She'll never leave Fred and we know it.
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#11
When I saw you for the first time (first time)
My knees began to quiver (quiver)
And I got a funny feeling (feeling)
In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system baby)

My hands they started shakin' (shakin')
My heart it started thumpin' (boom, boom, boom!)
My breakfast left my body (Heuey, heuey, heuey)
It really tells me something.

Girl, you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue Tied. Whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Whenever you're in town.
You make me feel like a clown, girl.

Yes, you make me tongue, tongue (tied, tied)
Tongue Tied. Why can't I tell you clearly? (clearly)
Tied, tied tongue, tongue (tongue tied, tongue tied)
Whenever you're around.

I saw you 'cross the dance floor. (dancing)
I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system baby)
But when I tried to speak to you (talk, talk)
My tongue unravelled to my knees (flippity, flippity flop)
I tried to say, "I love you" (love you)
But it came out kind of wrong girl (wrong girl)
It sounded like, "Noo-noo-na-nee-noo" (tongue tied)
Na-ner-ner-ner-nee-nung-nirl.

Because you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue Tied. Whenever you are near me
Nurmy, murmy (nurmy, murmy)
Murmy, nurmy (murmy, nurmy)
Whenever you're in town (in town)
My trousers, they go brown, girl.

Yes, you make me nungy-nangy (nangy-nungy)
Tongue tied. Why can't I tell you cleary? (cleary)
Be-dobby-durgle-dobby-durgle (tongue tied, tongue tied)
Whenever you're around.

Oh, I'm begging on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling listen please
Understand me when I say:
Be-durble-diggle-doggle-diggle-doddle-diddle-day

I'm trying to say I'm tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied. Whenever you are near me (baby)
Nurmy, murmy (nurmy, murmy)
Murmy, nurmy (murmy, nurmy)
Whenever you're in town (in town)
I feel so much like cryin', girl.

Yes, you make me nungy-nangy (nangy-nungy)
Ningy-nungy. Why can't I tell you clearly? (clearly)
Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle)
Durgle-dobby (durgle-dobby)
Whenever you're around (around)
Whever you're around, girl.
#12
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
I am a fish.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#13
Mayday, Mayday! I wonder why they call it "Mayday" ? It's only a bank holiday. Why not "Shrove Tuesday", or "Ascension Sunday" ? Ascension Sunday, Ascension Sunday! 2nd Wednesday after Pentecost, 2nd Wednesday after Pentecost!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#14
You know what you want. You want to squeeze my buttocks together to make one juicy giant peach.


Sorry, wrong thread.
#15
All hands on deck, swirly thing alert!
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#16
Quote by metacarpi

However, I still wear my Red Dwarf tshirts with pride!


I used to have this tshirt:



I wore it to school on a dress-down day and they made me go home to change it.
#17
Quote by Johnny_Ibanez
I used to have this tshirt:

*sweet shirt*

I wore it to school on a dress-down day and they made me go home to change it.


I have these two:



Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#18
Rimmer Directive 271: "No chance, you metal bastard"
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#19
Open communication channels, Lister. Broadcast on all known frequencies and in all known languages, including Welsh.


Rimmer: [entering a Western bar with Lister and the Cat] I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy.
[Rimmer walks up to the bar to order a drink]
Rimmer: Dry white wine and Perrier, please.

Arnold Rimmer: Step up to red alert.
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

Rimmer: They've been very bad, Mr. Flibble. What we going to do with them?
Rimmer: [Mr.Flibble whispers something in Rimmers ear and he looks at the crew, shocked] We couldn't possibly do that. Who'd clean up the mess?

Rimmer: So let me get this straight. You wanna fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're all completely sane?

Kryten: But this is insane. Hurting us is hurting yourself. Our pain is your pain.
Legion: Kryten, you forget. Not only do I possess your combined intellects and memories, I also share the sum of your malice and rage and anger, magnified many times. I'm capable of quite insanely irrational behaviour. Watch.
[Legion stabs himself in the hand. The others all feel pain in their hands]
Legion: The next hint of insurrection, and the scalpel ends up...
[he points it at his groin]
Legion: Here.
Kryten: Legion, that kind of tough talk doesn't scare us.
Rimmer, Lister, The Cat: Yes, it does!

Rimmer's Dad: I just wanted to say... You're a total smeghead!
Rimmer: What? This isn't my fantasy?
The Cat: [leans into frame, grinning] No, it's MINE!

Kryten: [waking up after a night of partying] Oh, my goodness... Oh... my head. Oh, what happened to me? Damage control report. Oh! Dehydration level, 45%. Recall of previous evening, 2%. Embarrassment factor, 91%! Advised repair schedule; reboot startup disc, offline for 36 hours and replace head. Boy! What a night!
[others groan and start to wake]
Kryten: Is it just me, or is that cockroach shuffling too loudly?
Rimmer: Kryten, it's called a hangover, don't panic.
Lister: We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space... can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
The Cat: Hey! It's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone! It's the police woman's helmet and the suspenders I don't understand!

Lister: Rimmer, what's going on out there? Is that Mahatma Gandhi? What's he doing practising hand-to-hand combat with a nun?
Rimmer: That's not a nun, Listy. That's Lieutenant Colonel Mother Theresa.
#20
Quote by slapsymcdougal
All hands on deck, swirly thing alert!


SILENCE SCUM!

*Slaps Metacarpi*
*Slaps Metacarpi*
*Slaps Metacarpi*
#21
WARUM TUT ES WEH, WENN ICH PINKLE?!
Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."


Quote by Axelfox
Disregard that,i suck cocks.
#22
Quote by Johnny_Ibanez
SILENCE SCUM!

*Slaps Metacarpi*
*Slaps Metacarpi*
*Slaps Metacarpi*




Kryten: These are our higher selves. They are who we could have become if all the negative aspects of our characters were removed.
Rimmer: You mean hippies.
Kryten: With respect sir, you think Jesus was a hippie.
Rimmer: Well, he was. He had long hair and he didn't have a job. What more do you want?
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
Last edited by metacarpi at Sep 17, 2012,
#23
[looking out a prison window, after being captured by Hitler]
Lister: Hang on, hang on, something's happening. Some kind of parade, or drill, but...
The Cat: But what?
Lister: Hang on. These guys aren't Nazis. They're all wearing different period costumes. There's one looking like Al Capone, there's another like Mussolini, Richard III, Napoleon... Smeg, it's like all the worst people in history have been brought together in one place. My God, there's James Last. I recognize him from Rimmer's record collection.
The Cat: What are they doing?
Lister: They're all just lining up in some kind of firing squad. Whoah, whoah, hang on, someone's being brought out. They're tying him to a stake. It's Winnie the Pooh.
The Cat: What?
Lister: Winnie the Pooh, I swear. He's refusing the blindfold.
The Cat: They're tying Winnie the Pooh to the stake?
[gunfire from outside]
Lister: [looking shell-shocked] That's something no-one should ever have to see.
#24
Epideme: No offence, but when you're a virus, there ain't much call for knowing how to open a lager bottle with your anus
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#25
The Cat: I say let's get into the jet-powered rocket pants and Junior Birdman the hell out of here.
Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks. A, We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants. And B, There's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants".
The Cat: Well, that's put a crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan!
#28
1 episode down, 5 to go.

Didn't think it was a disaster either. Wasn't amazing but good enough. Hoping it improves as we go though.
#29
Balls!

Forgot about this last night.......any repeats?
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#30
Quote by slash_GNR666
Balls!

Forgot about this last night.......any repeats?


Tomorrow (Saturday 6th, Oct.) 10pm on Dave. (11pm on Dave ja vu)
#31
Lunar city seven~
PSN: Shibuib
Steam: Drag_on88rr@hotmail.com
add me

Elvis Presley aint got no soul, Chuck Berry is rock and roll.

日本語をシグに入れるのは馬鹿やキザ野郎のする事だぜ。
#32
You can also watch it on Daves website, if you can get the account registration to work.
#33
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Tomorrow (Saturday 6th, Oct.) 10pm on Dave. (11pm on Dave ja vu)


Good Guy Babbath
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#34
Quote by JackalUK
1 episode down, 5 to go.

Didn't think it was a disaster either. Wasn't amazing but good enough. Hoping it improves as we go though.

Thought it showed more promise than I remember from the first episodes of VIII and Back To Earth, at least.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#35
Quote by slash_GNR666
Good Guy Babbath



I missed it myself so I had to find out when it was repeated so that I could record the series anyway.
#36
Quote by Blackbullet
Lunar city seven~


To Ganeymede and Titan, yes sir I've been around,
But there ain't no place in the whole of space like that ol' toddlin' town,
Oh Lunar City Seven, you're my idea of heaven,
Out of ten you score eleven,
you good old artificially terraformed settlement.
Quote by CV334

Sir, the contents of my mouth just blew all over my keyboard, desk, and part of my monitor. For the record, it was slightly chewed Keebler cookies and coffee slurry.

The average pitmonkey's response to my jokes.
#37
I pulled on my London Jets t-shirt and turned on my TV for the first time in months for this. It honestly wasn't the train wreck I was expecting. Pleasantly surprised.