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Most_Triumphant
is being Excellent!
Join date: Feb 2011
1,145 IQ
#1
So I just got home, and my mom is pretty drunk. Not like all out wasted, but definitely passed tipsy. She saw me, and told me that she had made a sandwich, and that it was waiting for me in the oven. Next she told my sister that the coloured pencils were in the microwave, so don't let them defrost. I just went on FB and found this:

(Status)
Mom: "I drink alone :0"
(Comments)
Mom: "and Ozzy loves me"
Mom: "hehehe I should have stopped but the bottle looked lonly with one glass l.eft"
Mom: "I got a go bed hehe"
Mom: "i love wine"


So Pit, what type of shit should I do to her while she's in this state?
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#5
She sounds upset.

Guilt her into to buying you stuff with her credit card
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Enigmatic564
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2011
518 IQ
#8
Poop on the toilet seat and say she did it
Quote by robertsanidiot
Jesus died for their sins. It would be a waste if they just didn't sin it up. If you ask me, it's almost unchristian if you DON'T eat the kiddies.
Quote by StewieSwan
Hahaha you short fuck
Quote by due 07
LOL manlet
losing battle
UG's Trollestia
Join date: Feb 2007
2,508 IQ
#9
Quote by WCPhils
She sounds upset.

Guilt her into to buying you stuff with her credit card


This also have your friends pay to bang her then you can get more stuff via blackmail.
Quote by joshua garcia
I was incredibly drunk and only really remember writing a fanfic where ESP was getting porked by a pony.

Quote by guitar0player
I'd honestly fap to anything with a set of genitals as long as I find it aesthetically appealing.
Cb4rabid
K♦️
Join date: May 2009
2,628 IQ
#12
I love these threads because this is when the TS posts his sob story and the Pit's advice is to sex up their relative and the TS never comes back.
pinga
Obsceneairwaves
UG Member
Join date: Sep 2011
1,001 IQ
#13
Quote by bradulator
Bang her



This times one thousand.


Perfect time to get with your mum, she's drunk and won't remember, probably.

she wants you bro.
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
Amuro Jay
JOHNNY STOCK
Join date: Apr 2006
8,211 IQ
#14
Quote by PaulyVengeance
Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't hurt herself or break anything.

Quote by WCPhils
She sounds upset.

Guilt her into to buying you stuff with her credit card

Quote by Enigmatic564
Poop on the toilet seat and say she did it
These three. The last one, if nothing else.
tayroar
Dragonslayer
Join date: Aug 2007
1,212 IQ
#15
You guys are acting like she suddenly became a baby. She's drunk not comatose.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
Obsceneairwaves
UG Member
Join date: Sep 2011
1,001 IQ
#16
Quote by tayroar
You guys are acting like she suddenly became a baby. She's drunk not comatose.



I hardly see a difference
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
orangepi
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2012
55 IQ
#17
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
I hardly see a difference



It can be a very thin line.

Seriously put saran wrap on the toilets.
Most_Triumphant
is being Excellent!
Join date: Feb 2011
1,145 IQ
#18
No, she's not in any type of trouble, just bored on a Saturday night. This is getting pretty interesting.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
Extra Ordinary
Meh
Join date: Jun 2011
197 IQ
#20
Quote by Most_Triumphant
No, she's not in any type of trouble, just bored on a Saturday night. This is getting pretty interesting.

What do you mean by interesting?
Would you care to elaborate?
Most_Triumphant
is being Excellent!
Join date: Feb 2011
1,145 IQ
#21
Quote by RU Experienced?
It sounds like she loves wine to me

Bingo, she's telling me that it's starting to taste like water.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
longneckdude
Cliff Lives
Join date: Sep 2007
133 IQ
#23
steal some money and if she asks about it later say she bought more booze while drunk
My Gear:

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Cb4rabid
K♦️
Join date: May 2009
2,628 IQ
#24
I think what the Pit needs is pictures of TS's mom in order to accurately assess the situation at hand.
pinga
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#25
Quote by Cb4rabid
I think what the Pit needs is pictures of TS's mom in order to accurately assess the situation at hand.

+1
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,842 IQ
#26
I can't stand it when my mom is drunk.

Just the thought is making me go "Rrrrrrgh!"

...Jeez, where's the drink thread?

...I need to make a drink.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
Burgery
crack hitler
Join date: Nov 2009
3,179 IQ
#27
my mom is rarely not drunk
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
jthm_guitarist
"funny" but "unmemorable"
Join date: Apr 2006
1,474 IQ
#28
Girls just pretend to be drunk for attention.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
Most_Triumphant
is being Excellent!
Join date: Feb 2011
1,145 IQ
#29
Quote by Jako215
Where's your dad at in this situation?

Sitting with her watching TV, and once in awhile coming downstairs to get away from her stupidity. My mom gets super stupid and giggly when she's drunk. I'm got some video that will be handy with blackmailing her later on.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
metal4eva_22
PonyFan #376121
Join date: Jul 2006
899 IQ
#30
So what, I'm kinda drunk. Dare me to drive? (Huh, my name is, what, my name is, who, my name is, chicka chiaka slim shady.)
-The Crimson Fucker, aka PonyFan #376121
Last edited by metal4eva_22 at Oct 7, 2012,
Jako215
UG's Fat Frendo
Join date: Dec 2005
1,542 IQ
#31
Quote by Most_Triumphant
Sitting with her watching TV, and once in awhile coming downstairs to get away from her stupidity. My mom gets super stupid and giggly when she's drunk. I'm got some video that will be handy with blackmailing her later on.


Threesome?
Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,842 IQ
#32
Quote by metal4eva_22
So what, I'm kinda drunk. Dare me to drive?

Yes. Up Mount Everest. You've been dared. Do it.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
Most_Triumphant
is being Excellent!
Join date: Feb 2011
1,145 IQ
#33
Quote by metal4eva_22
So what, I'm kinda drunk. Dare me to drive?

Naw, I like you.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
tayroar
Dragonslayer
Join date: Aug 2007
1,212 IQ
#34
She's gonna have a hell of a hangover. Wine creates the god damn worse hangovers of any drink.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
Skullivan
EG Fan aka Bandwagoner
Join date: Jun 2010
1,578 IQ
#35
Quote by RU Experienced?
It sounds like she loves wine to me

BUT WINE DOESN'T LOVE HER BACK!
I CRI EVYTIM!


Obsceneairwaves
UG Member
Join date: Sep 2011
1,001 IQ
#36
you gotta work your way in there TS.

" so I see you really love your wine, Got any extra love for me and sir ample titan? "

or maybe light a candle, get some marvin gaye going, then say " you've done me a favour bringing me in to this life, now it's my turn to do you a favour "


report back.
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
Jako215
UG's Fat Frendo
Join date: Dec 2005
1,542 IQ
#37
Quote by Obsceneairwaves


or maybe light a candle, get some marvin gaye going, then say " you've done me a favour bringing me in to this life, now it's my turn to do you a favour "


report back.



Oh God!
HardAttack
Head Injury
Join date: Apr 2005
1,659 IQ
#38
Quote by Jako215
Oh God!


The thread's already been posted. God can't help her now.

Also, instead of Marvin Gaye, put this on:

mmmmmmhmmm

That's exactly what I've been trying to say.

Quote by munkymanmatt
brilliant
TimTheWizard
they call me Guru
Join date: Apr 2011
172 IQ
#39
when my mum's drunk all she does is whine about how she loves us so much and is sorry for all the things she's ever called us.

Seems like your mum wins.
Quote by Ulalume
I had a friend who was held at gunpoint as a cashier. The robber told him to give him all the money in the register and what not. Apparently my friend then replied, "Would you like a slurpee with that?"
jakesmellspoo
turndiningbackintoeating
Join date: Jun 2007
2,169 IQ
#40
Quote by bradulator
Bang her

the way the OP is worded, it think that's what he wanted to do anyway.
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