Serrana
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2006
592 IQ
#2
As I'm listening...

The intro is ok. The guitar melody is a little stop and go, feels awkward. It feels more complete when the second guitar bit comes in. I would maybe recommend having both parts present at the opening of the song, and bring the rhythm guitar in where the 2nd lead comes in. Vocals aren't bad but nothing special, but I definitely understand how difficult it is to get them to a place where your happy with. Keep working on it and it will come. The instrumental bridge part is cool, maybe just do it twice though. Four times through is a bit much. Chorus to post-chorus transition is nice. Once again though I wouldn't put the one melody by itself. Maybe put a mini solo on the second instrumental bridge to build up energy for the chorus. The end kinda drags on. I would work mostly on trying to consolidate the song and simplify it. Theres a lot of extra weight to it that is bringing the song down on the whole. There are good ideas here, they just need to be more focused is all. I also feel like it would benefit from a better drum track, but once again, I understand how difficult it is to do everything yourself.

Heres my link. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1567002

not really a crit thread, but im trying to get some traffic on it so my main question can be asked. Your thoughts would be appreciated anyways
JayCartay
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2012
1,991 IQ
#4
Thank you. I commented on your thread

I am really tempted to record the verse vocals again..... I am not happy with them, they are eating away at me! I am stuck between singing all of the verse the same way it starts, rather than changing pitch, or just trying to do it a bit less peaky if I do keep the pitch change. I kinda want to move on and record something new now though!