I like the idea, though it needs some work. As you already know, the song needs better mix, the vocal is overwhelmed by the music. I'd also work on the drums since 1:26, they seem lacking, I would also add some distortion on the guitars during choruses, but after 1:26, making the first chorus clean, generally that whole part to 1:26 with lacking drums seems to be a fine idea, but after that the drums should be a bit more dynamic, I guess you can start from adding more hi hats and see how it will look like. Nonetheless you're of a good start, keep it up

If you want you can check my song:
Thanks, this stuff is mostly stuff I am laying down so that once I manage to form a band, I have some material to get started with. Providing the other people like it

I'd be interested in a proper studio session to make a 5 track EP though if the band situation isn't sorted in the near future.

I'll give yours a listen next
I like this song man! Good vocal ideas that stuck in my head. I think a bit of variety in guitar tone (some distortion or perhaps a double-track for the chorus) would launch this song into a whole new level of awesome.

I liked the song structure but after a whole listen, my ear was hoping to find a little switch up in the vocals outside of the same octave you stay in. My brain started slipping a tad into boredom when I kept hearing the same vocal notes as they rose and fell.

Otherwise though, good stuff man! C4C?