Hey guys! I wrote this song the other day, and want to post it up here for some criticism . The sound quality is a bit distorted at some parts, but I can't really do anything about that, I did this on my phone. Also, during the bridge, I play higher up on the neck, and my guitar kinda craps out for a second.


Last edited by STIRMling at Oct 15, 2012,
I like the chords you used for the main progression. I have to say the sound quality is kind of bad. And your vocals sound nasally and more screaming than singing. Other than that the song writing was great and the structure was good. It flowed very well.


Last edited by The_Musician321 at Oct 15, 2012,
Thanks man. I'll listen to yours when I get home, as I'm away from anything with speakers that can play anything well haha. If you could give me advice on how to help my singing, that would be awesome
Oh man I'm not much of a singer, but when I do get the balls to do it, I try to relax and let it flow. I also try to breath a little more. But again, with that taken into account I sound sub-par at best.
Hey man, thanks for the crit in the other thread.

Your voice reminds me of Cage the Elephant, I like the LOUDquiet element of the song (Pixies are one of my favourite bands so I'm a total dynamics guy)

I'd say get yourself a few condenser mics, say two for the guitar and one for your voice and knock the songs out live - I think it'd be the best to capture the dynamics and tempo changes. hope this was helpful.
OH MY GOD!!!!! THOSE WERE THE TWO BEST COMPLIMENTS TO GIVE ME!!!! My two favorite bands: Cage the Elephant and the Pixies

And, I recorded this on my phone speaker, so I will make it better soon
Good taste in music man, seen Cage live, they're fantastic - unfortunately not the Pixies but you never know.

Yeah man I understand that, I used to record via cassette onto an old cd player when I first started - it always starts somewhere anyway, glad to have made your day.
Haha thanks man. I saw them live last year in Sacramento, and it was amazing. I got Matt's autograph
^That right? that's cool man, we had to rush out to get the last train home (which we ended up missing anyway) but they seemed like cool guys. Couple of my friends weren't as keen on the new album but I liked it just as much, Aberdeen is brilliant.
Even if it's a total Pixies ripoff, haha. But I love that song. Indy Kidz is so great too, I love that bassline towards the end that he repeats over and over again.
Lol well, have you heard my band Mr Jingles? (link in my signature) I've been told my electric stuff is similar to the Pixies, whether it is or not is for others to decide - any music I write I just see it as like, all my cds exist and I'm like a DJ, I take all my favourite things and then put them in my own songs. In theory.
Pretty decent job. Interesting step up from verse to chorus, energetic playing and singing. Singing could be a little bit more on the laid back side on some parts but other than that good timing.
Not a bad song. A few good hooks in there. Not quite sure what it was about lyrically. I'll give it a second spin and pay more attention to the words.

Were you aiming for the distortion in the loud parts or was it simply too much for your phone's mic? Guitar wasn't too bad but it spoiled the vocals. Needs a proper recording.