Love the energy first of all. This reminds me a bit of AFI's earlier stuff
When the drums come in on the kick and ride, it sounds like the very first hit is out of time. That threw me off a little upon first listen, but as things pick up the drums are sounding good. Nice fills.
I think what this piece is lacking is a strong focal point. I want a singer or lead instrument playing a melody that will carry the song and hold the attention of the listener. As it is there is really nothing melodically memorable to latch on to.
But then this track does strike me as an intro track or something, so maybe this is actually suitable for that role