jnunn
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2012
133 IQ
#1
aright whats up folks i just landed a gig writing for a newspaper and i want to put together an article that shows the fun side of music so if you have any storys or about touring or comedic things that have happened to you at your band practice post it i want to know some stuff about a deeper look into what being in a band is actualy like not just getting stoned and getting hammered i want the more fun side of being in a band
JacobTheMe
Oh god, not again....
Join date: Jan 2009
1,200 IQ
#2
I'd love to share some of my stories. I'll just need your employer's email address first.
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
866 IQ
#4
No.
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
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Weaponized
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#5
wow dude thats great that you got to be a writer i mean that sounds so good I bet youre a real good writer i can tell by the way you write you know ok well one time at band practice we ordered a pizza except when the pizza got there it looked like it had a vagina because the bread rose a certain way and it was really funny and then i ate the vagina pizza and it didnt taste good just like regular vagina you know haha i guess pizza and people arent so different after all
ChrisBW
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2009
171 IQ
#6
Took a picture of our bass player taking a shit at a walmart over the stall.
I have a huge fear if rays.
jnunn
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2012
133 IQ
#7
i know i wrote it like a dumbass, but i really can put stuff together well.
JacobTheMe
Oh god, not again....
Join date: Jan 2009
1,200 IQ
#8
Quote by jnunn
its a school newspaper


So? I have to verify this.
guitarist41
DiscoSucks****Everything
Join date: May 2006
1,812 IQ
#9
15 y/o old. Wrote corny power chord song. Friend made up drum parts. Jammed it. Highlight of my life so far.
Quote by neidnarb11890
the chinese take-out place my family always ordered from gave you chopsticks, so as a kid it was fun to try & eat with chopsticks
now i just use a fork, 'cuz nothing is fun anymore & i just want to shovel food into my mouth to fill the void
jnunn
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2012
133 IQ
#10
hey brother you can send your stories to my email if you want im not trying to start any shit i dont know if they even have any thing to send it to its a high school newspaper and i was told to bring all my stuff into the editor i havent even met him i thinks the media teacher
Weaponized
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#11
another story is when me and the drummer went to get some drum stuff idk i dont play drums except guitar center was far so we took the freeway and he is kind of a dick and cutoff people and stuff like that but then this guy in a huge truck got really pissed and his high beams on and followed us all over and we were freaking out cause he literally followed us into neighborhood and shit it was like the movies but then we lost him and went to guitar center why do they sell drum stuff if its guitar center lol and then we headed back and on the freeway the same guy was there and we shit ourselves and tried to lose him again for like 20 minutes and we eventually did but holy shit it was scary i had a baseball bat and he had a police baton he found on the street so we coulda defended ourselves dont think we are pussys we just didnt wanna **** that guy up **** you for thinking that i swear if i met you in person you i would punch you square in the dick
macaroni
UG's Colourblind Guy
Join date: Sep 2007
750 IQ
#12
Quote by Weaponized
wow dude thats great that you got to be a writer i mean that sounds so good I bet youre a real good writer i can tell by the way you write you know ok well one time at band practice we ordered a pizza except when the pizza got there it looked like it had a vagina because the bread rose a certain way and it was really funny and then i ate the vagina pizza and it didnt taste good just like regular vagina you know haha i guess pizza and people arent so different after all


Sincerely,
Shitstirrer
JacobTheMe
Oh god, not again....
Join date: Jan 2009
1,200 IQ
#13
Okay, well this one time I was in York with Gilmore and Beck; Beck was getting ready for some show and asked Gilmore (he wasn't on tour at the time) and I if we wanted to accompany him in "'Cause We've Ended As Lovers". His touring guitarist at the time was ill after some dealer loaded him up (and I think he ended up with food poisoning as well), so he was pulling favors. (I hooked up with his sister at an old Byrd's show, but you can exclude this part considering that it is a school paper) thats the favor that he had on me.

Anyway, we were walking down the street towards the pub for a little preshow "warm-up" while the tech's were handling the set-up. We found some dinky little whole-in-the-wall place called "The Old Basterd". I remember the paint on the door being peeled and the front windows barred with the glass cracked. The damn place was a mess, in some desolate alley. If it weren't for a crude neon sign we wouldn't have even noticed it behind the dumpsters and drunkards lying out front. As we approached Gilmore practically panic'd. Saying that we could go find some bloody coffee shop or something, but Beck just shot me this look. He is the type of guy that is always going after a challenge, even now that we are ancient and useless, his teeth stick out and his eye would squint together ever so slightly as if he wanted to just jump in blindly to whatever trouble he could find. We ignored Gilmore and busted that pale door open.

The place was as old and cryptic as the bar keep. Some balding old Scotsman who didn't speak the entire time. I walked up and barked out for a glass of Daniels. (Although my tastes have changed into a scotch person now). Without a word the barkeep got to work.

While I was waiting, I turned around and noticed that Beck was already chatting up some busty redhead who was sitting alone at a booth next to the door. I remember she had lovely green eyes, and was a whiskey drinker herself, and the funny part was that she gave zero ****s about Beck even though he walked up and declared "Hey babe, im a rockstar." He always came on way too strong, overconfident son of a bitch that he was.

"Bug off. I've got a man." The redhead retorted with a velvet voice.

"I don't see him." Beck sat down in the tattered red booth and put his arm around her. The woman's cheeks turned as red as her hair.

"Yeah, well I do." and she pointed to the barkeep who was holding my drank. His eyes full of rage.

"What baldy over there? You could be spending your time in a nicer place than this dump."

At this point, the Scotsman threw the glass of whiskey (yes, we weren't here for more than two minutes at this point) and it shattered just barely missing Beck's head. Gilmore screamed and ran out of the bar, I jumped out of my seat at the counter and yelled "Beck, lets get the **** out of here!"

Instantly the bar keep calmed down. "Wait, Beck? Jeff Beck? I've got tickets for your show tonight." His voice was so deep and weary, almost like a damn wizard. After hearing the man finally speak my jaw dropped.

"How would you feel about back stage passes, my friend?" Beck replied. His arm still comfortably fit around the woman's shoulder.

Long story short, Beck hooked up with the bar keep's woman. I finally got my drink. And Gilmore ran back to the venue and hid in the van until the show later that night. Proving the age old pick-up-line of "Hey babe, im a rockstar."
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#14
RIP Loombag
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
jthm_guitarist
"funny" but "unmemorable"
Join date: Apr 2006
1,474 IQ
#15
So we were sitting in the bar after a gig well actually it was me, the bass player and one other guy who wasn't in the band, and then their girlfriends, but then the singer and the drummer were outside (we could see them through the window) so the other guy who was sitting inside with us pulled down his own pants and pressed his ass against the window well the band members walked away but then these two cigar-smoking greasers walked by and thought he was mooning them so they walked inside all tough-like and said "you wanna ask us something?" and the other guy just smiled and said "yeah... what kind of cigar are you smoking?" and the greasers flicked their cigars at him we all laughed it was one of many funny things that night true story.

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jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


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Obsceneairwaves
UG Member
Join date: Sep 2011
1,001 IQ
#16
So this one time I was masturbating. I was also listening to music. Rhythmic Masturbating.
It's over simplified, So what!

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Cazman
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2010
1,348 IQ
#17
Quote by jnunn
not just getting stoned and getting hammered i want the more fun side of being in a band


???
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#18
Quote by Cazman
???

yeah i dont get it either
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
My Last Words
Billions and billions!
Join date: Jul 2012
2,229 IQ
#20
Quote by Weaponized
wow dude thats great that you got to be a writer i mean that sounds so good I bet youre a real good writer i can tell by the way you write you know ok well one time at band practice we ordered a pizza except when the pizza got there it looked like it had a vagina because the bread rose a certain way and it was really funny and then i ate the vagina pizza and it didnt taste good just like regular vagina you know haha i guess pizza and people arent so different after all


another story is when me and the drummer went to get some drum stuff idk i dont play drums except guitar center was far so we took the freeway and he is kind of a dick and cutoff people and stuff like that but then this guy in a huge truck got really pissed and his high beams on and followed us all over and we were freaking out cause he literally followed us into neighborhood and shit it was like the movies but then we lost him and went to guitar center why do they sell drum stuff if its guitar center lol and then we headed back and on the freeway the same guy was there and we shit ourselves and tried to lose him again for like 20 minutes and we eventually did but holy shit it was scary i had a baseball bat and he had a police baton he found on the street so we coulda defended ourselves dont think we are pussys we just didnt wanna **** that guy up **** you for thinking that i swear if i met you in person you i would punch you square in the dick



baab
SlackerBabbath
Est. 1966.
Join date: Apr 2007
264 IQ
#21
Quote by jnunn
its a school newspaper


I'm sorry, all my stories are far too x-rated for a school newspaper.
JacobTheMe
Oh god, not again....
Join date: Jan 2009
1,200 IQ
#23
Quote by Wisthekiller
I thought you meant Beck, not Jeff Beck right until the very end and wondered why you paired them up in that story...


About four full-sized paragraphs is a long story?

I can't handle this world anymore.
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#25
How on Earth did you get a job as a writer for a newspaper?
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.