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#41
Quote by GoxGetterxGuy
Little bit of honesty, little bit of real big dick.


Quote by satrionic1
if ur good looking and don't wanna waste time;

look straight in her eyes and just go "i really wanna make love to u", use a calm voice and a philosophical face too,

impossible this will not work. (tested)

if ur not,

then chances are pretty low, still it might depend on your talk. ofcourse if ur a rich basterd then ur a king.





seriously......wat....
You want some more seeneyj hate? WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT

You're all a bunch of f*cking slaves! - Jim Morrison

UG Awards
1st: Biggest Ego
1st: Most Likely To Become Famous
1st: Most Pretentious User
#46
You should make a woman of your own to have sex with. I mean, those two kids did it in that 80s movie and it all worked out for them.
#47
I'm Jewish, so them Jewettes just seem to flock to me... Shiksas as well...

Also, I own a bear (not even joking), and you don't need a gold berry to get one. Just an ancient Jewish prayer.
#48
Quote by Jacques-Henri
I'm Jewish, so them Jewettes just seem to flock to me... Shiksas as well...

Also, I own a bear (not even joking), and you don't need a gold berry to get one. Just an ancient Jewish prayer.


I thought that was a golem?
#49
the only real advice i have about females:

females are two of these three things: 1)Attractive 2)Single 3) Emotionally stable
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
#50
be honest and heavy with feeling and attractive and smell good
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#51
Quote by Harvey Swick
the only real advice i have about females:

females are two of these three things: 1)Attractive 2)Single 3) Emotionally stable

I can add to that.

The only thing that men and women have in common is that neither of them trust women.
#52
Quote by SlackerBabbath

The only thing that men and women have in common is that neither of them trust women.

very true.
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
#53
Quote by meatjesus
i'm 18 but apparently unable to grow a decent bear, am i cursed?


I never grew a bear too, i bet it's hard.
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
#54
Dress real Topman, act real confident, be real funny, let them sip real vodka, get bare minge ting

#LivingInBristol2k12
Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
#57
Duct tape.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
#58
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
If we get married, don't forget to use striped berries to grow a ring bear!

Is this your own special way of saying "if you like it then you better put a ring on it"?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#61
Quote by Philip_pepper
Easy.

Just whip out the D when she least expect it.

Chicks love the D.

This IS tenacious D we're talking about right?
#62
Quote by Highelf04
This IS tenacious D we're talking about right?

I DID NOT MEAN

(he did not mean)

TO BLOW YOUR MIND!

(to blow your mind)

BUT THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO ME

ALL THE TIME!
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#63
Talking to them seems to work alright for me.
¯|(°_o)/¯
#64
Find out what their insecurities are and use that knowledge to be supportive and make them feel good about themselves. Then run away before they get crazy attached to you for accepting them.
#65
Flirt with them on the internet and then get them to meet you in person and act really awkwardly and bring them back to ur house to watch a movie and ACTUALLY watch the movie and get all awkward if they touch you and every time they say something that's blatantly an opening line and then when they're about to leave awkwardly touch them (establish physical contact) and then when she's walking into the taxi shout 'I'm gonna touch your bum' and then ignore them on facebook.
#66
Quote by Philip_pepper
Easy.

Just whip out the D when she least expect it.

Chicks love the D.


whip out the Decency?
#67
Quote by KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
Flirt with them on the internet and then get them to meet you in person and act really awkwardly and bring them back to ur house to watch a movie and ACTUALLY watch the movie and get all awkward if they touch you and every time they say something that's blatantly an opening line and then when they're about to leave awkwardly touch them (establish physical contact) and then when she's walking into the taxi shout 'I'm gonna touch your bum' and then ignore them on facebook.


Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
#68
Quote by RU Experienced?
Find out what their insecurities are and use that knowledge to be supportive and make them feel good about themselves. Then run away before they get crazy attached to you for accepting them.

No don't do this
#69
Chloroform and a rag seem to work like a charm and they also make them cool with anal.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#73
Quote by FireFromTheVoid
I give them bananas, they give me monkey business.
Its a good system.


I'd happily take your banana
#74
If there was a singular rule to this then it wouldnt be worthy of a thread on a internet forum.

Mostly it really is confidence. Not arrogance but genuine confidence. Some chicks like uncertain guys and find it cute but you'll also find thats a small percent.

The chick im bout to have a kid and marry i literally made her agree to talk to me so everyone could keep partying. It was my and my bro's place at the time and he wanted to boot everyone being a massive dick.

so asked if i would speak to him and let everyone chill since it was my place too. I only said:

"Yeah but you gotta come talk to me when he agrees".

Her response was a smile and a "okay".

This was 3 yrs ago and our son is due december 7th. O wait you just seducing? Well same applies just avoid the marriage and child stuff.
Knowledge is power
#76
Ya it's like the ultimate party favor baby ya know
Two cups will get a hot one out of her clothes ya know
Caribou lou.

Its like...
151 rum
Pineapple juice and Malibu
Caribou get them all numb.

Make baby girl come
...out of her shell and raise hell
Don't stop til the cops come.
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

Last edited by VanTheKraut at Nov 14, 2012,
#78
Mdma

edit: ahh i just realised ive been using ug nearly 8 years
now extra flamey
Last edited by Ikey at Nov 14, 2012,
#79
Quote by Ikey
Mdma

methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine?
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

#80
G.D.G is what it's
all about, 4real.
(Gettin' dem girlys).
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Nov 14, 2012,