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AtaBorMan
UG's reclusive wanker
Join date: Jul 2009
480 IQ
#1
Inspired by K'nuckles' thread, what weird words for penis do you know?

Some Swedish ones are hose, flagpole, slitmasseur, spitting cobra, lollipop, rudder and pitt. (for which there is no translation)
(slang, flaggstång, slidmassör, spottkobra, slickepinne, roder).

Do your worst, pit!


inb4 TS is gay.

Quote by Hydra150
Can we also have some interesting euphemisms for masturbation in this thread?

Yes. Also pissing.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
Last edited by AtaBorMan at Nov 11, 2012,
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#2
Can we also have some interesting euphemisms for masturbation in this thread?
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
AtaBorMan
UG's reclusive wanker
Join date: Jul 2009
480 IQ
#3
Quote by Hydra150
Can we also have some interesting euphemisms for masturbation in this thread?

Yes. Also pissing.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
AtaBorMan
UG's reclusive wanker
Join date: Jul 2009
480 IQ
#9
Quote by whoomit
AtaBorMan


Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#10
People call mine impressive.
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
Krieger91
I Sold The World
Join date: Sep 2009
4,002 IQ
#12
As in the other thread, I will translate silly euphemisms from silly Italian.

Penis: bird.


Masturbate: Sawing (?) Or, more correctly, "having a saw" or "doing a saw"
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
leigh596
Gaming and Guitar
Join date: Apr 2011
1,910 IQ
#13
in scotland the most commonly used ones are - boaby, willy, taw, wallace and douglas
My Rig
Fender Blacktop Strat HH MN > Joyo JF-01 Vintage Overdrive > Boss ME50 > Line 6 Spider IV 30

Other Shit
Jim Deacon Acoustic
Yamaha 12 string acoustic

New Amp Fund
£300/700
K'Nuckles
The president of ass
Join date: Aug 2011
1,885 IQ
#14
Well the most common expression for wanking in Cantonese is "Hitting the aeroplane".
Krieger91
I Sold The World
Join date: Sep 2009
4,002 IQ
#15
Quote by K'Nuckles
Well the most common expression for wanking in Cantonese is "Hitting the aeroplane".

Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#16
Quote by leigh596
in scotland the most commonly used ones are - boaby, willy, taw, wallace and douglas

Wallaper.
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
timothy95
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2008
73 IQ
#17
I refer to mine as John Thomas, it started after I heard Bear Grylls say it about his.
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#20
Quote by whoomit
Tadger.

Tommy Sheridan



cos he's a Scottish dick
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
RetroGunslinger
Registered User
Join date: May 2010
1,060 IQ
#23
Helmet Harry, purple headed warrior, john thomas, wee man, chuckwagon, pocket python.

Only masturbation ones I've got are Burp The Worm and Jerk the Gherkin
My Gear:
BC Rich Gunslinger Retro Blade
Vintage V100 Paradise + SD Alnico Pro Slash APH-2's
1963 Burns Short Scale Jazz Guitar
Dean Performer Florentine
Bugera 6260
Orange Micro Terror + cab
Digitech Bad Monkey
Zoom G2G
AtaBorMan
UG's reclusive wanker
Join date: Jul 2009
480 IQ
#24
Quote by RetroGunslinger
Burp The Worm and Jerk the Gherkin


Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#25
frustrated janitor


okay i just made that one up
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
BeefWellington
UG's Tastiest Dish
Join date: Jan 2010
262 IQ
#26
Im just gonna dump all the ones I can think, regardless of whether they'e already been said or are obvious.

Penis:
Disco stick
Pork sword
One-eyed monster
Trouser snake
Meat pole
Willy


Masturbation:
Five-knuckle shuffle
Toss the salad
Spank the monkey

Pissing:
Siphon the python
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#27
bash the bishop
spank the monkey
chug
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
#28
Mayonnaise pipe
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#29
tunnel inspector
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
ProtoCosmos
UG's Chicken Kicker
Join date: Sep 2011
722 IQ
#30
Strawberry ice cream cone
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Krieger91
I Sold The World
Join date: Sep 2009
4,002 IQ
#31
Also, in the words of one Chad Kroeger, "Johnson".
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
mystical_1
Doomed
Join date: Jul 2008
336 IQ
#32
tomato man
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


TheRampantWhale
My avatar is too fast
Join date: Jan 2011
41 IQ
#34
I have ****stick and wankshaft for penis, and choking the chicken for masturbating.
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,126 IQ
#35
****
Dick
Johnson
NIN
Tool

Edit, what?

We can't say ****? that's ****ing ridculous; What if I was a chicken farmer?
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Nov 11, 2012,
Stugg334
Bristolian
Join date: May 2009
368 IQ
#36
Womb ferret
Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
DisarmGoliath
Disarms Goliaths
Join date: Dec 2008
1,391 IQ
#37
Penis: Yoghurt-slinger, pink oboe, pork sword, clunge plunger, nightstick, womb raider.


Wanking: jacking the beanstalk, choking the one-eyed milkman, squeezing the juicy flute, jerkin' the gherkin.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,130 IQ
#38
If your penis is an odd number of inches (or cm for eurofags, communists, and terrorists) like 3 or 11, you could refer to it but that odd number golf club. Like you could call it your 7 wood or whatever is appropriate for you.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please.
Hydra150
cutebutt mcsexyface
Join date: Nov 2006
1,793 IQ
#39
Quote by theogonia777
If your penis is an odd number of inches (or cm for eurofags, communists, and terrorists) like 3 or 11, you could refer to it but that odd number golf club. Like you could call it your 7 wood or whatever is appropriate for you.

Is 12" an odd number or even?


But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
#40
Quote by Hydra150
Is 12" an odd number or even?




You got a 12" inch dick?

I didn't know you were that small....


Try 43"
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in