frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#1
I recently quit the course I was on because I had no free time and it was depressing me. With my new found free time I've started writing again and produced these two short pieces. They're the first two pieces that I've written with my new 7 string that I actually like.
They're in a progressive/djent vain, influenced by TesseracT and Periphery and incorporating lots of polymetrics. I've approached the technical side of the writing in a more simple way ensuring that I can actually play everything I write. Whilst the polymetrics are complex the actual riffing isn't.
C4C as always.

I've recorded them both, albeit really shoddily. But practice makes perfect, I'll get there eventually.
http://soundcloud.com/frank_young/nocturnal
http://soundcloud.com/frank_young/paarthurnax

Also recorded a playthrough of Nocturnal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmMxmCqB9tU&feature=youtu.be
and Paarthurnax.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZucWsp9yg8&feature=youtu.be
Attachments:
Song 8 Nocturnal.gp5
Song 9 Paarthurnax.gp5
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Nov 16, 2012,
kylendm
Baronboi
Join date: Aug 2006
8,191 IQ
#2
Listened to the first one. It's got a cool atmosphere, it's dark but the actual rhythm guitars could be more interesting. I found it pretty boring to be honest. Try and make it groove or something.

The second one is a pretty blatant ripoff of Ragnarok.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7421
Ibanez SA160
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Randall RM100
Madison Divinity II
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
H&K 4x12
Last edited by kylendm at Nov 17, 2012,
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#3
Quote by kylendm
The second one is a pretty blatant ripoff of Ragnarok.


Blatant? It's a riff with a synth arpeggio over the top. I'm not the first person to do that and I won't be the last.
The main riff of Ragnarok is in patterns of three whilst the synth repeats every 4 bars. The snare drum also follows the 3 pattern.
My riff has almost no pattern, despite a recurring use of 5, and it is also syncopated all over the place. The snare follows a clear 4/4 pattern whilst the synth is in 15/4 and doesn't actually repeat on the same beat once.
It doesn't have a similar pattern note wise and generally has a completely different feel and groove anyway. Actually listen to them one after the other and tell me they sound at all similar.
Whilst I admit the influence should be clear to see I take offence to you claiming it's a ripoff because musically it isn't a rip off at all. The only thing you could say is that it's a riff in a low tuning with a quarter note synth arpeggio over the top, if that constitutes a ripoff then it's going to be hard to call anything an original piece.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Nov 18, 2012,
kylendm
Baronboi
Join date: Aug 2006
8,191 IQ
#4
I brought people in the room and they told me the same, that it sounds like Ragnarok. Sorry, I was a little harsh saying that but I get that kind of feedback all the time so I didn't mean to insult you. But if that lead over top was a bit different I wouldn't have said anything. I'd say just change it up a little bit because if you released that as some kind of song I know there will be people saying exactly what I said.

Now with that said I think you have some awesome ideas as far as atmosphere goes and I think you should keep that up for sure!
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7421
Ibanez SA160
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Randall RM100
Madison Divinity II
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
H&K 4x12
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#5
Quote by kylendm
I brought people in the room and they told me the same, that it sounds like Ragnarok. Sorry, I was a little harsh saying that but I get that kind of feedback all the time so I didn't mean to insult you. But if that lead over top was a bit different I wouldn't have said anything. I'd say just change it up a little bit because if you released that as some kind of song I know there will be people saying exactly what I said.

Now with that said I think you have some awesome ideas as far as atmosphere goes and I think you should keep that up for sure!


I get what you're saying but it's unfair to say that just because a there's a quarter note synth arpeggio over the top that is sounds like a blatant rip off. That's an insult to the original song and to my song, there's much more too it than that one part. If I wrote a dance song with that same arpeggio would it also sound like Ragnarok? The synth part would still remind you of it but of course it's not a blatant rip off.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
BloodReverence
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2008
917 IQ
#6
Quote by frankibo
Disconcertingly slow tempo, made me feel really uneasy, almost angry.


When I saw you post this I couldn't help but think of how ironic it is that I feel the same way about all your djent pieces. It's just too slow, needs more energy man.
amonamarthmetal
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
1,808 IQ
#7
I don't understand how you can't call my trolled djent song djent. Yet you call this djent.
Gear:
Dean RC7X (Bareknuckle Coldsweat pickups)
Ibanez Rg2570Z (Bareknuckle Juggernaughts)
Schecter KM-6
Schecter Hellraiser Hybrid 7 String
Engl Powerball II
Orange PPC412
Line 6 Pod HD500X
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,421 IQ
#8
Quote by amonamarthmetal
I don't understand how you can't call my trolled djent song djent. Yet you call this djent.


Cuz duh, he ripped off periphery.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#9
Quote by BloodReverence
When I saw you post this I couldn't help but think of how ironic it is that I feel the same way about all your djent pieces. It's just too slow, needs more energy man.


Fair enough, maybe it is slightly lethargic.

Quote by amonamarthmetal
I don't understand how you can't call my trolled djent song djent. Yet you call this djent.


If I remember correctly your song had almost not notable polymeters (guitars or drums), it was just a syncopated breakdown with a clean part. The nuance of the genre is lost on you but that's fair enough, I guess it's just not your thing. I feel the same way about lots of genres.

Quote by EpiExplorer
Cuz duh, he ripped off periphery.


Influenced and ripped off are not the same thing.

This forum isn't the place it used to be.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Nov 18, 2012,
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,421 IQ
#10
Quote by frankibo
If I remember correctly your song had almost not notable polymeters, it was just a syncoptaed breakdown with a clean part.


Influenced and ripped off are not the same thing.

This forum isn't the place it used to be.



I was joking, and I haven't been here long enough to comment on that claim.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
amonamarthmetal
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
1,808 IQ
#11
Polymeter = Djent


Ok.
Gear:
Dean RC7X (Bareknuckle Coldsweat pickups)
Ibanez Rg2570Z (Bareknuckle Juggernaughts)
Schecter KM-6
Schecter Hellraiser Hybrid 7 String
Engl Powerball II
Orange PPC412
Line 6 Pod HD500X
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#12
The second song reminds me of Ragnarok, but it's far from a rip off and also, great job!
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#13
Quote by amonamarthmetal
Polymeter = Djent
Ok.


Not at all, don't take my words out of context. I'm pretty sure I said in my critique of your song what defines djent and for me polymeters are a big part of it. Obviously you have to add in all the other elements too but it's just not the same without polymeters.

Quote by Erra93
The second song reminds me of Ragnarok, but it's far from a rip off and also, great job!


Thanks, yeah I think the influence maybe shows through too strongly...
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus