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#1
i've always wondered if i was lactose intolerant or something, so i've always avoided dairy products. however i saw that yogurt was on sale, and so i bought a box of granola cereal and mixed them together, good lord i have tasted heaven.

however within 12 hours my digestive system began responding with vigor. i can't stop farting. and they smell horrendous.

does anyone else have this problem with yogurt? or maybe it's the granola? i don't have any pain or diarrhea or anything, just horrible smelly farts. since i usually don't have this problem most people haven't been suspecting me. i went on a 7 mile run (living history farms race) and i farted going up the hills (it was actually kind of fun).

i was getting in the car to go to the race, i farted outside the car. once we got in, everyone said that it smelled like fart in the car. so everyone blamed lizzy, (she's known to fart often), and said that it magically stayed in the car since last time she was driving. i think that fart might have followed me into the car. i didn't know that was possible. But anyhow:

please reply with info about yogurt causing farts, fun things you can do while having really smelly farts, any fart stories, or anything else you can think of to comment that's fart-related.
#2
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.
#3
Yeah i think you might be lactose intolerant. Or had too much protein.
Sincerely,
Shitstirrer
#4
My best friend was like that, he was a fat **** and would fart like mad all day long. It got kind of annoying but could be hilarious with the timing of some of them

If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached
#5
Quote by Bladez22


If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached


HA

#8
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.
#9
Quote by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.

I think it was this.

#10
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Dem sperm cells was high, bro.
#12
Quote by Jako215
^Thanks

You're quite welcome.

Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Dem sperm cells was high, bro.

They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.
#13
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


Quote by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?



SHAMELESS

#14
Quote by RU Experienced?
They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.

Their life was short, but interesting.
#15
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Did that feel amazing
#16
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
SHAMELESS

A minty fresh scrotum should be the number one desired effect of taking a shower. Nothing says clean like cold air and tingly balls.
#17
You'll also get the same effect from having toothpaste on your balls.

I brush my teeth in the shower, and have had toothpaste on my balls as a result. I don't have some weird toothpaste on balls fetish.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend
#18
Go on a crop-dusting mission at a $.99 store.Drop bombs near fat people and quickly walk away,then enjoy the dirty looks people give them.
#19
I fart like mad whenever I eat these chips I bought down at my local Grocery Depot. They be bbq sweet potato chips, and they were due last august, but they taste good. Make me fart though.
#20
I felt I should comment on my own experience with ungodly gases. I'm pretty much 100% sure I've narrowed it down to smoking marijuana. Yep, I don't know why it is, but smoking herb seems to constipate me and produce nauseous farts. Crazy.
#21
Quote by rickyvanh
Go on a crop-dusting mission at a $.99 store.Drop bombs near fat people and quickly walk away,then enjoy the dirty looks people give them.


A crop dusting mission.
#22
Quote by wafflesyrup
I felt I should comment on my own experience with ungodly gases. I'm pretty much 100% sure I've narrowed it down to smoking marijuana. Yep, I don't know why it is, but smoking herb seems to constipate me and produce nauseous farts. Crazy.

Is it possible that after smoking marijuana, you get hungry and end up eating excessive amounts of food that might cause digestive problems? I don't see how smoking anything would directly cause gas.
#23
First:

But i wouldn't know, man, i don't really eat yoghurt, sorry. However, if i drink a lot of beer in one night, my farts smell pretty awful, and the smell of a beer shit is something that could be weaponized, it doesn't really pertain to your situation, but i'm just saying.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
Last edited by donender at Nov 17, 2012,
#24
Quote by RU Experienced?
I think it was this.


Can you buy this from normal stores or is Dr. Bronner's online store the only place you can get it? I, too, am interested in a tingly scrotum.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#25
Quote by moscaespañol
Can you buy this from normal stores or is Dr. Bronner's online store the only place you can get it? I, too, am interested in a tingly scrotum.


If all you want is scrotal tinglation you could try mentholatum or Vicks vaporub, or perhaps better: Bengay (or, I hesitate to say... icyhot) all that shit would effectively tingle yo naughty bits.
#26
You are just lactose intolerant.

Even though this thread is really about tingly balls now.
In my heart I'm with you

every night
#27
Quote by Mind_Reader7
I don't have some weird toothpaste on balls fetish.

That's what she said!


OT:
My dad sometimes used to fart so loud that the people OUTSIDE the car heard it. Shit was cray, yo!
#28
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
That's what she said!

that's not how those jokes work ese
#29
Yoghurt settles your stomach. It shouldn't give you this problem unless you specifically have an issue with dairy, or you were digesting it with something that doesn't mix well.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#31
Quote by metal4eva_22
Buttplug?

It'd go off like a Civil War cannon.
#32
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


Irish spring intensify does this to you
#33
Quote by geetarguy13

i was getting in the car to go to the race, i farted outside the car. once we got in, everyone said that it smelled like fart in the car. so everyone blamed lizzy, (she's known to fart often), and said that it magically stayed in the car since last time she was driving.

who the shit is lizzy

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#34
Quote by SteveHouse
who the shit is lizzy

“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#35
Quote by geetarguy13
i think that fart might have followed me into the car. i didn't know that was possible.


I lost it right there.
For your sake I hope heaven & hell are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath.




Guitar & skateboarding. Do what you want.
#36
This thread...

If you're bothered with the smell, why don't you get one of those carbon fart filters?
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
#37
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

One more reason why we should legalize it man
Quote by birds of fire
Irish spring intensify does this to you

nop.
#38
On the subject of menthol testes, I used Axe Shock body wash once and it was very much like that feeling described by the first user with the hemp body wash, but for me, it felt really uncomfortable and annoying, and it almost had a burning sensation to it.

For the record, I don't normally use anything Axe, mostly because I enjoy not smelling like some desperate Freshman in college, but I got it for free so
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