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geetarguy13
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2007
1,869 IQ
#1
i've always wondered if i was lactose intolerant or something, so i've always avoided dairy products. however i saw that yogurt was on sale, and so i bought a box of granola cereal and mixed them together, good lord i have tasted heaven.

however within 12 hours my digestive system began responding with vigor. i can't stop farting. and they smell horrendous.

does anyone else have this problem with yogurt? or maybe it's the granola? i don't have any pain or diarrhea or anything, just horrible smelly farts. since i usually don't have this problem most people haven't been suspecting me. i went on a 7 mile run (living history farms race) and i farted going up the hills (it was actually kind of fun).

i was getting in the car to go to the race, i farted outside the car. once we got in, everyone said that it smelled like fart in the car. so everyone blamed lizzy, (she's known to fart often), and said that it magically stayed in the car since last time she was driving. i think that fart might have followed me into the car. i didn't know that was possible. But anyhow:

please reply with info about yogurt causing farts, fun things you can do while having really smelly farts, any fart stories, or anything else you can think of to comment that's fart-related.
JackWhiteIsButts
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
#2
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.
macaroni
UG's Colourblind Guy
Join date: Sep 2007
750 IQ
#3
Yeah i think you might be lactose intolerant. Or had too much protein.
Sincerely,
Shitstirrer
Bladez22
Faerie boy
Join date: Sep 2010
241 IQ
#4
My best friend was like that, he was a fat **** and would fart like mad all day long. It got kind of annoying but could be hilarious with the timing of some of them

If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached
I guess I still miss you
Oh well, it's me and you
What else should we do?
When talking is for functioning people
SaintsofNowhere
Mostly landscapes
Join date: Jul 2008
2,464 IQ
#5
Quote by Bladez22


If your farts are following you into cars however I would get a restraining order, they sound overly attached


HA

Jako215
UG's Fat Frendo
Join date: Dec 2005
1,434 IQ
#8
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.
JackWhiteIsButts
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
#9
Quote by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?


Oh and TS you are not lactose intolerant. You are just gonna die a shitty death.

I think it was this.

ali.guitarkid7
Gets Easier
Join date: Oct 2009
2,302 IQ
#10
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Dem sperm cells was high, bro.
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
Ali priori / Ali posteriori
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Jesus christ Ali is a nutcase

I actually feel sorry for him, like seriously, get help
JackWhiteIsButts
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
#12
Quote by Jako215
^Thanks

You're quite welcome.

Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Dem sperm cells was high, bro.

They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.
SaintsofNowhere
Mostly landscapes
Join date: Jul 2008
2,464 IQ
#13
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


Quote by Jako215
I think I would like that. Do you remember the name of that body wash?



SHAMELESS

ali.guitarkid7
Gets Easier
Join date: Oct 2009
2,302 IQ
#14
Quote by RU Experienced?
They were probably contemplating the meaning of life and wondering if there was anything outside of their universe when I launched them down the shower drain.

Their life was short, but interesting.
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
Ali priori / Ali posteriori
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Jesus christ Ali is a nutcase

I actually feel sorry for him, like seriously, get help
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#15
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

Did that feel amazing
Jako215
UG's Fat Frendo
Join date: Dec 2005
1,434 IQ
#16
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
SHAMELESS

A minty fresh scrotum should be the number one desired effect of taking a shower. Nothing says clean like cold air and tingly balls.
Mind_Reader7
Tab Contributor
Join date: Aug 2008
1,537 IQ
#17
You'll also get the same effect from having toothpaste on your balls.

I brush my teeth in the shower, and have had toothpaste on my balls as a result. I don't have some weird toothpaste on balls fetish.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend
rickyvanh
Registered User
Join date: May 2011
63 IQ
#18
Go on a crop-dusting mission at a $.99 store.Drop bombs near fat people and quickly walk away,then enjoy the dirty looks people give them.
Tag43
for the lulz
Join date: Mar 2008
571 IQ
#19
I fart like mad whenever I eat these chips I bought down at my local Grocery Depot. They be bbq sweet potato chips, and they were due last august, but they taste good. Make me fart though.
wafflesyrup
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
463 IQ
#20
I felt I should comment on my own experience with ungodly gases. I'm pretty much 100% sure I've narrowed it down to smoking marijuana. Yep, I don't know why it is, but smoking herb seems to constipate me and produce nauseous farts. Crazy.
Jako215
UG's Fat Frendo
Join date: Dec 2005
1,434 IQ
#21
Quote by rickyvanh
Go on a crop-dusting mission at a $.99 store.Drop bombs near fat people and quickly walk away,then enjoy the dirty looks people give them.


A crop dusting mission.
geetarguy13
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2007
1,869 IQ
#22
Quote by wafflesyrup
I felt I should comment on my own experience with ungodly gases. I'm pretty much 100% sure I've narrowed it down to smoking marijuana. Yep, I don't know why it is, but smoking herb seems to constipate me and produce nauseous farts. Crazy.

Is it possible that after smoking marijuana, you get hungry and end up eating excessive amounts of food that might cause digestive problems? I don't see how smoking anything would directly cause gas.
donender
Get back to work
Join date: Oct 2004
2,047 IQ
#23
First:

But i wouldn't know, man, i don't really eat yoghurt, sorry. However, if i drink a lot of beer in one night, my farts smell pretty awful, and the smell of a beer shit is something that could be weaponized, it doesn't really pertain to your situation, but i'm just saying.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
Last edited by donender at Nov 17, 2012,
moscaespañol
>alabama
Join date: May 2010
511 IQ
#24
Quote by RU Experienced?
I think it was this.


Can you buy this from normal stores or is Dr. Bronner's online store the only place you can get it? I, too, am interested in a tingly scrotum.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
SwaggleyKubrick
Svengali
Join date: Nov 2012
19 IQ
#25
Quote by moscaespañol
Can you buy this from normal stores or is Dr. Bronner's online store the only place you can get it? I, too, am interested in a tingly scrotum.


If all you want is scrotal tinglation you could try mentholatum or Vicks vaporub, or perhaps better: Bengay (or, I hesitate to say... icyhot) all that shit would effectively tingle yo naughty bits.
palm mute
Reserved User
Join date: Nov 2009
280 IQ
#26
You are just lactose intolerant.

Even though this thread is really about tingly balls now.
In my heart I'm with you

every night
crazysam23_Atax
Feuergesicht
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#27
Quote by Mind_Reader7
I don't have some weird toothpaste on balls fetish.

That's what she said!


OT:
My dad sometimes used to fart so loud that the people OUTSIDE the car heard it. Shit was cray, yo!
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#28
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
That's what she said!

that's not how those jokes work ese
rabidguitarist
Ethnomusicologist
Join date: Apr 2006
1,735 IQ
#29
Yoghurt settles your stomach. It shouldn't give you this problem unless you specifically have an issue with dairy, or you were digesting it with something that doesn't mix well.
VENUSIAN
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crazysam23_Atax
Feuergesicht
Join date: Oct 2009
5,710 IQ
#30
Quote by due 07
that's not how those jokes work ese

Eh, they don't work...
Seref
Gob****e
Join date: Jun 2009
688 IQ
#31
Quote by metal4eva_22
Buttplug?

It'd go off like a Civil War cannon.
birds of fire
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2012
21 IQ
#32
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.


Irish spring intensify does this to you
SteveHouse
trys hard, loves the game
Join date: Dec 2005
798 IQ
#33
Quote by geetarguy13

i was getting in the car to go to the race, i farted outside the car. once we got in, everyone said that it smelled like fart in the car. so everyone blamed lizzy, (she's known to fart often), and said that it magically stayed in the car since last time she was driving.

who the shit is lizzy

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

Alexi_hammett
what up wit dat?!
Join date: Mar 2010
50 IQ
#35
Quote by geetarguy13
i think that fart might have followed me into the car. i didn't know that was possible.


I lost it right there.
For your sake I hope heaven & hell are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath.




Guitar & skateboarding. Do what you want.
jjfeu662
Celestia
Join date: Jun 2012
1,996 IQ
#36
This thread...

If you're bothered with the smell, why don't you get one of those carbon fart filters?
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
Thrashtastic15
socialist cuz bernie xd
Join date: Mar 2009
697 IQ
#37
Quote by RU Experienced?
This one time I used this weird "all natural" hemp-based bodywash/shampoo and my balls felt like that tingly mentholy sensation when you brush your teeth and then drink a cold glass of water.

One more reason why we should legalize it man
Quote by birds of fire
Irish spring intensify does this to you

nop.
NordicThrasher
Something Wild
Join date: Oct 2012
148 IQ
#38
On the subject of menthol testes, I used Axe Shock body wash once and it was very much like that feeling described by the first user with the hemp body wash, but for me, it felt really uncomfortable and annoying, and it almost had a burning sensation to it.

For the record, I don't normally use anything Axe, mostly because I enjoy not smelling like some desperate Freshman in college, but I got it for free so