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#1
What would be your first order of business?


I think i'd turn water into beer and everything else into pizza.
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#5
Get a shave, get a haircut and then get a job helping the homeless whilst not telling anybody I'm Jesus.
#9
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
I'd tell everybody how cross I was.

--

How do you say "I'm okay" to an answering machine?

--
#10
Dear John Lennon: I am, in fact, bigger than you. Five inches bigger, to be exact.

Revive John Lennon so I can make him well aware of it personally.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#11
I'd move to the Bible Belt and be all

Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#12
I would strike down Bieber.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
#13
Ban Kirk Hammett from using any wah.
'And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.'

'You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.'
#14
Quote by LostLegion
Get a shave, get a haircut and then get a job helping the homeless whilst not telling anybody I'm Jesus.



I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, But you're the gayest jesus ever.
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#15
fap
Quote by element4433
Be subtle with it. Don't like molest him.

And cup his balls.


Quote by blake1221
If there's anything to take away from this thread, anything at all, it's to always cup the balls.
#16
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
I think i'd turn water into beer and everything else into pizza.

You'd turn everything that isn't water into pizza??? That's sounds horrible. We'd constantly be slipping around in a gooey marinara-mozzarella mess. We'd have to use pepperoni for currency and everything would start to rot in a few days.

Something tells me you didn't think this through, TS.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#17
I would harvest the fruits/veggies that you privileged bastards are always eating!
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#18
Quote by snipelfritz
You'd turn everything that isn't water into pizza??? That's sounds horrible. We'd constantly be slipping around in a gooey marinara-mozzarella mess. We'd have to use pepperoni for currency and everything would start to rot in a few days.

Something tells me you didn't think this through, TS.



why would it rot? I'm jesus


we would be like smurfs, but with beer and pizza! I don't see how this could be bad!
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#19
how is that in any way like the smurfs?

Is Satan supposed to be like Gargamel or something?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#21
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
I don't see how this could be bad!


This.
we would be like smurfs


And this.
but with beer and pizza!


Seriously, you do realize that by replacing the water with beer that the cheese and crust would be made with beer too, which means that the pizza would probably be pretty gross, right?
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#23
I'd go bowling.
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#24
Quote by snipelfritz
how is that in any way like the smurfs?

Is Satan supposed to be like Gargamel or something?


both food


they live in mushrooms.


we would live in pizza... huts!


Quote by IRISH_PUNK13

Seriously, you do realize that by replacing the water with beer that the cheese and crust would be made with beer too, which means that the pizza would probably be pretty gross, right?



I'm jesus I could make the pizza awesome and fresh regardless
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#25
I would tell them that my father thinks you're all scum.
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
#29
Quote by BlitzkriegAir
Are you sure you just wouldnt turn everything into a pony?


Quote by Shotgunmerc
I'd talk to atheists

And how they're scum?
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
#30
I would ban the production of nails.
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
#31
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#34
I'd impeach this Obama guy.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#35
Quote by Shotgunmerc
I'd try to teach them what I can of Christianity, and if they're not having any of it I'd just logicbomb the hell out of them

Bro do you even lift?
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
#37
Make his stories believable?
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
#38
I'd explain to everyone that gays, atheists, Muslims, communists, etc. etc. are all good people and shouldn't be judged.

The only people my heavenly Father really hates is UG bronies.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#40
Quote by ErikLensherr
The only people my heavenly Father really hates is UG bronies.

HAIL SATAN.
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
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