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#1
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good. Our bassist is fat with no stage presence, and he is a dick to everyone, not to mention he sucks at bass and plays a right handed bass even though he's left handed. We want to kick him out but he is our source for free food, so we have decided to keep him. He also gets up to "take a dump" in the middle of practice sessions, but we have recently realized he was lying, after our vocalist walked in on him masturbating in my bathroom.

We also have a rhythm guitarist with a cheep $150 guitar who tries to do crabcore, and his timing is so bad he always throws the band off. Not to mention during breakdowns he tries to solo off and it sucks major ass. He always gets mad at me because the riffs I write are too hard for him, so much to the point that he just cases his guitar and goes in the other room and complains about me.

I really think our band will go somewhere, but I really want to get through these problems, I want us to get along. Any advice?
#2
Quote by edmodo23
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good. Our bassist is fat with no stage presence, and he is a dick to everyone, not to mention he sucks at bass and plays a right handed bass even though he's left handed. We want to kick him out but he is our source for free food, so we have decided to keep him. He also gets up to "take a dump" in the middle of practice sessions, but we have recently realized he was lying, after our vocalist walked in on him masturbating in my bathroom.







but nah, if you really have this much to complain about, what makes you think you can go somewhere as a band? How long have you been a band so far?
Last edited by Metasponge at Dec 10, 2012,
#3
Quote by Metasponge





but nah, if you really have this much to complain about, what makes you think you can go somewhere as a band? How long have you been a band so far?

March 2011
#5
It'll be fine, kindergarten is always hard.
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#6
Quote by edmodo23
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band, but we arent very good... I really think our band will go somewhere


You aren't very good, but you think your band will go somewhere?

But yeah, if you are having problems like that, kick those guys to the curb. There is clearly a conflict in terms of musical style, ability, and personality, and with these you will never be able to get anything done, even just for fun.
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#7
Wait, so the bassist is fat and goes of for a wank during practice and doesn't shut the door, and you accept this as long as he gives you free food? What kind of freak band are you in? You're like a food prostitute.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#8
Bravo I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, although wtf is crabcore? Does everyone walk around the stage sideways?
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#9
Quote by adamgur96
It'll be fine, kindergarten is always hard.

I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating
#10
Quote by RetroGunslinger
Bravo I thoroughly enjoyed reading that, although wtf is crabcore? Does everyone walk around the stage sideways?

Its when you squat down during a breakdown and bang your head like crazy
#11
Quote by edmodo23
I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating




Quit that shit!

And stop cleaning semen after your fat friend.
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
#12
Quote by edmodo23
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating


And "[you] really think [your] band will go somewhere?"
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#14
Quote by edmodo23
I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen, and he cant play any of the riffs I write so he just plays open notes. I always have to tab it out for him
Also we dont have a drummer, so it is frusterating


He sounds like a total wanker.


(ba-dum-tss)
#16
Ok the semen thing went too far. He's a troll.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#18
If you keep going like you guys are you will definitely get signed. I heard that Simple Plan, Good Charlotte and One Direction all had the same problems and then poof they got signed. So don't worry about your fat masturbating bassist or your guitar player who can't play guitar, EMI will make it happen!
#19
Quote by edmodo23
I really think our band will go somewhere, but I really want to get through these problems, I want us to get along. Any advice?

Here's my advice. Leave your band. Stay friends with them if you want. But do your own project. Become a solo artists. You can set up a home studio for less than $500. Then, if you wish, put up classifieds and ask people to play riffs that are complicated enough to show their skill but not too complex to play in an impromptu audition.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Dec 10, 2012,
#20
Quote by kaptink
I think you need to film your practice sessions. So we can understand better...



I love that idea, but don`t film the wanking bit. We know how that shit goes down.
#21
I only had faith in my highschool band because we were all fairly proficient players. It sounds like you guys couldn't be more ****ed.

I get the feeling that you also have more of an ego than you're admitting. You shouldn't be writing everyone's parts for them. You should also be okay with people not playing the parts you wrote. Thats part of maturing as a musician. Its probably just a phase, I used to be like that, but I've grown out of it.

Also, who masturbates at other peoples houses? WTF? Especially when there are a bunch of people around?
#23
Quote by kertets
I love that idea, but don`t film the wanking bit. We know how that shit goes down.

We dont practice again until Saturday
#24
Quote by Danjo's Guitar


Also, who masturbates at other peoples houses? WTF? Especially when there are a bunch of people around?

Our bassist, apperently
#26
Quote by edmodo23

I really think our band will go somewhere


No you won't.

If you have to bitch about them on the internet (albeit the centre of all knowledge known as The Pit), then there's no hope.

Find some new musicians.
#27
Quote by adamgur96
It'll be fine, kindergarten is always hard.


Quote by edmodo23
I'm getting really annoyed by our bassist though, I had to clean the ****ing semen.....



Everything I said about banning edmodo, I take it all back... this is just way too entertaining..... what else am I going to do on this site with airbrendie gone?
#28
Quote by edmodo23
I really think our band will go somewhere, but I really want to get through these problems, I want us to get along. Any advice?


You thought wrong.
#29
Maybe you should slash your wrists and tear your throat out.

When you're dying, you will be crying etcetc.

edit: that was you right with those lyrics?
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#30
If he masterbated while playing you'd say he has too much stage presence, poor guy can't win. When you gotta rub one out, you just gotta.
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Seriously, I'm not a fan of iphones and guitars mixing.
#31
Quote by edmodo23
So basically, i'm in a metalcore band

Well son, there's your problem.
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Sex changes? That's pretty gay


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#32
Quote by Neo Evil11
Maybe you should slash your wrists and tear your throat out.

When you're dying, you will be crying etcetc.

edit: that was you right with those lyrics?

yes.


true brilliance
#33
Quote by edgeyyz


Thats one of the shitest things I've seen/heard for a long time
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#35
Quote by RetroGunslinger
Thats one of the shitest things I've seen/heard for a long time

Imagine this: imagine a shitty local band sounding exactly like that.


Ready to suck a muffler with me?
#36
Quote by edmodo23
I really think our band will go somewhere

nope
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#37
No drummer, a bassist who refuses to use his stroking hand on his stage instrument and a guitarist that cant play... Sounds like u just enjoy writing unplayed riffs and cleaning semen!

Troll love!
#39
Quote by RetroGunslinger
Thats one of the shitest things I've seen/heard for a long time

Pretty much.
#40
Guys, I've thought about it alot, and I decided that I am going to leave the band. But I have no idea how to tell my bros Advice?
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