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Old 12-13-2012, 04:13 PM   #1
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Driving test tomorrow! (UK)

Hey pit monkies, long time no time.
As things turn out, I have my practical driving test tomorrow, any tips and advice?
Not sure how confident I should be because I pretty much came back from uni last week (i.e. coming back from 2 months of no driving at all), and then did about 8 driving lessons in the space of 8 days to try and re-learn.

In short, I'm going to try and pass my driving test tomorrow, so hit me up with all your wisdom!

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Old 12-13-2012, 04:18 PM   #2
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If you need our help then you probably suck at driving.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:19 PM   #3
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i failed my first time , about to resit. You might get unlucky like i did and come across a situation you haven't dealt with before. I guess yu just need to stay calm , you are less likely to make mistakes.

And take your time. If you do an emergency stop do your mirror checks before you change to first and then check again before you set off , kill some time.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:28 PM   #4
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I passed my test 6 years ago so the whole procedure has probably changed since I did it.

My advice to you... Don't crash the car and you'll be fine.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:34 PM   #5
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Good luck
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:38 PM   #6
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I'd advise you to ALWAYS drive on the right side of the road. Just saying.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:48 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
I'd advise you to ALWAYS drive on the right side of the road. Just saying.

or left side in our case :P

I failed first time. My girlfriend doing hers next week.
No matter how well you can drive you can still fail. It's almost luck of the draw.
Keep relaxed but be alert. In the last 20 seconds of my test on the roundabout to the test centre a boy racer undertook someone on the roundabout as I was pulling out and if I didn't react as well as I did I would of failed.

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Old 12-13-2012, 04:56 PM   #8
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I failed first time and didn't have time to try again. I failed because an old lady was stood about ten metres away from a crossing, not even looking at it, and I drive across it which apparently was dangerous in some way.
You're more likely to fail because of some bullshit like that than being a bad driver, so just keep your wits about you and be careful.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:58 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by nightwalker903
or left side in our case :P

In the UK, the "right" (or correct) side to drive on is the left, yes. In the US, the right side to drive on is the right.

'Twas a play on words, my good man!
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:14 PM   #10
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I barely passed mine. I scored the exact amount of points needed to pass. So if I missed exactly one point I would've failed. I think I got a bit nervous and forgot to do somethings I reminded myself to do. So don't get nervous!

If you do get nervous, pull out a huge bottle of liquor and ask the teacher if he/she wants some. You know, just to break the ice.
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:16 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by theogonia777
first, dress appropriately. a World War I era RAF uniform is your best bet, but if you are unable to locate one, a tiger suit (preferably made with an authentic taxidermied Maltese Siberian tiger pelt) is acceptable. make sure you have at least something on your head (this will be important later). whatever you do, do not wear a horned Viking helmet. this would be historically inaccurate, and could therefore offend the instructor on the off chance that they are of Norse decent.

the morning of the test, you want to make sure you are in proper form. load up on as many stimulants as possible. caffeine, theobromine, nicotine, amphetamine, MDMA, cocaine, etc, are all good choices. don't eat or drink anything, or else you'll probably have to stop to pee or poop in the middle of the test, or else have to pee or poop and hold it and make that uncomfortable face the whole time. no alcohol or marijuana before the test. those will just slow you down.

while waiting at the DMV for the tester, be as loud and impatient as possible, as DMV customs dictate. keep in mind that all DMV workers are morons, but are unaware of it. they have the power to call security to come and throw you into the moat with the crocodiles, so do not upset them (too much). everyone else is fair game. do whatever it takes to get to the front of the line. the sooner you get out of there, the sooner you can start the test.

don't suck up to the tester. no one likes a kiss ass. instead, be sure to make off handed remarks about them whenever possible. if for whatever reason you feel possessed to compliment them, backhanded compliments are the only option. if the driving tester is a woman, she is less likely to be a good driver herself, and therefore your driving abilities will look that much better by default. also women testers are more likely to perform fellatio on you during the test.

drive as fast as you can drive without crashing. this shows that you are confident in your abilities to successfully succeed. if you come to a red light, you have two options: wait or run through it. both of these options are WRONG! avoid red lights at all cost. drive as fast as you can to get through that yellow light. again, driving fast shows confidence and not crashing at high speeds shows you've got mad skills. DO NOT race other drivers, even if you make eye contact. you will most likely lose. if you lose, you will look like a weenie. that makes you less likely to pass.

step on the brakes as little as possible. the brakes are for sissies. only break for large animals such as moose (elk), bison (wisent), or bears (bears). hitting one of these animals will likely kill you, and in the off chance that you get away, the animals family will come for revenge. brake for fireman and military veterans, but only because they deserve mad props for being cool guys and because they doesn't afraid of anything. brake for Frogger, because he just wants to get across the damn street already. other than that, use the brakes only as a last resort.

at the end of the test, your tester will most likely try to sex you up. don't refuse, no matter how unattractive they are. turning them down will hurt their feelings, and they already have low self esteem. this will result in them failing you. guaranteed.

if you followed my advice to the letter, than congratulations! you have just earned your driver's license! you will receive it in the mail within the next 4-6 months, or whenever the DMV workers finally manage to get it to you. it should eventually come, so be patient.

if you did not follow my advice, you will likely fail. you dumbass! why didn't you listen!? no matter, there is still hope. go in and wait in line again for 7 hours, at which point you will probably be redirected to a different line. this may happen 10 tens, maybe more. eventually, you will receive the necessary paperwork to request another test. after you spend another 4 or 5 hours filling this out, they will schedule another test in about a year and you can try again. maybe this time you will listen to my advice.

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Old 12-13-2012, 05:18 PM   #12
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Here's a little know tit bit for you.

If you do your test on a Friday, you get double points if you drive on the right and hit someone walking with a zimmer frame.
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:44 PM   #13
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:47 PM   #14
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Get in the car, drive where the man/woman says, get out of the car, get your pass certificate.

It's really not that hard

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Old 12-13-2012, 05:55 PM   #15
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Pee before you drive, don't crash. And don't hit the curb when you're turning in the road. You might kill someone or some shit.

I got wheelspin going onto a roundabout on mine, only got a minor for it. Thought I'd failed for sure.
And the drummer in my band booked his test at the wrong centre, he didn't have any of the knowledge of the roads, and somehow still passed.

Best of luck to you sir!
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:57 PM   #16
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I passed in 14 lessons + 40 minutes before my test, with 2 minors and no prior driving experience!
Keeping calm and confident are the most important, as I was nearly hit by a woman on her phone, but moved and braked just in time for her to panic and stall!

I swear to god, I've never been more panic'ed for those few seconds, but I got on with it, remained calm after a bit of the 'eye opening' situation and passed!
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:04 PM   #17
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Right okay..since nobody else is really giving any good advice i will.

1. Turn the radio off.
2. Open the window on your side slightly. Air is good.
3. Don't forget to REALLY look at your mirrors. Make it really obvious.
4. If you think you have failed dont just stop trying your best.. When I passed, I REALLY thought I had failed. In the end i only got six minors.

Pretty much it.
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:04 PM   #18
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Mirrors like a bitch. That is all.
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:19 PM   #19
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Drive carefully but don't hesitate because they'll screw you for that too. Just do what they say to the best of your ability and you'll be fine.

As mentioned, check your mirrors before pretty much everything.
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:24 PM   #20
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they like when you look in your mirror

keep looking in your mirror

look nowhere but the mirror

dont look around the mirror

look directly into the mirror

you are now getting sleepy
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