Page 4 of 19
#121
I remember when I was a kid, they had shows on E! like Howard Stern and Wild On. I'd jack off to that. Howard Sternwould have porn stars on his show and Wild On had a lot of censored nudity.

When I think back to that show (Wild On), the only people who I could think of that would actually watch that show were horny 12-14-year-olds.
#122
Quote by MinterMan22
^are you the dude who used shampoo and then your dad saw you in the hallway or something?

No
I got caught by my brother.
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#123
Confession time...
-I secretly love to play blues.
-When i'm in the shower and i'm feeling lonely I sing highway to the dangerzone and pretend i'm tom cruise
-I weeped deeply while watching the ending to forest gump and proceeded to make a slow deep love to my self to sleep.
-I pressed the emergency stop button on a revolving door and blamed it on my friend(he still thinks he accidentally bumped it or something).
-I put vanilla extract in my coffee.
-I bought a sweet pleather jacket that looks and feels just like leather and lie and tell my mates that its real.
#124
Quote by The Madcap
I remember when I was a kid, they had shows on E! like Howard Stern and Wild On. I'd jack off to that. Howard Sternwould have porn stars on his show and Wild On had a lot of censored nudity.

When I think back to that show (Wild On), the only people who I could think of that would actually watch that show were horny 12-14-year-olds.

Reminds me how I used to jack off to the girls gone wild commercials they used to have on Comedy Central a few years back. I purposefully DVR'd late night shows just for those.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#125
Quote by muffinduck01
Reminds me how I used to jack off to the girls gone wild commercials they used to have on Comedy Central a few years back. I purposefully DVR'd late night shows just for those.
Then if it was a really good night, it'd be infomercials.
#126
Quote by The Madcap
I remember when I was a kid, they had shows on E! like Howard Stern and Wild On. I'd jack off to that. Howard Sternwould have porn stars on his show and Wild On had a lot of censored nudity.

When I think back to that show (Wild On), the only people who I could think of that would actually watch that show were horny 12-14-year-olds.

bro.

truth.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#127
Quote by NothingRocks
I haven't watched Citizen Kane, Indiana Jones; 1, 2, or 3, The Godfather part 1, Schindler's List, Ghost Busters, Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, The Thing, or The Shining.

I've watched all of these movies enough times to kill a small animal
#128
Quote by Androidjoey
Confession time...
-I secretly love to play blues.
-When i'm in the shower and i'm feeling lonely I sing highway to the dangerzone and pretend i'm tom cruise
-I weeped deeply while watching the ending to forest gump and proceeded to make a slow deep love to my self to sleep.
-I pressed the emergency stop button on a revolving door and blamed it on my friend(he still thinks he accidentally bumped it or something).
-I put vanilla extract in my coffee.
-I bought a sweet pleather jacket that looks and feels just like leather and lie and tell my mates that its real.

Everyone loves to play the blues.

I sing White Wedding in the Shower.

Forrest Gump is a tragically sad movie and I've teared up to it before as well.

The rest I can't really relate with. Except the jacket, because I have done that, too.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#129
Quote by muffinduck01
Reminds me how I used to jack off to the girls gone wild commercials they used to have on Comedy Central a few years back. I purposefully DVR'd late night shows just for those.

Late night ESPN would have commercials for Philly area strip clubs.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#130
Quote by eGraham
Forrest Gump is a tragically sad movie and I've teared up to it before as well.
"...Is- Is he smart?"
#131
I also jacked off pretty often to girls gone wild commercials back when they used to come on at 2am. I remember me and my cousin just sitting and watching them sometimes.
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#132
I also did it to howard stern and girls gone wild commercials
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#133
I was in a shitty mood until I found this thread, so thanks guys.

And I once went on a drunken rampage and robbed a gas station, a grocery store, and then destroyed city hall while all of the cops were at the gas station looking for me. I got 4 days in jail. Get on my level.
#134
Quote by zaiura
I was in a shitty mood until I found this thread, so thanks guys.

And I once went on a drunken rampage and robbed a gas station, a grocery store, and then destroyed city hall while all of the cops were at the gas station looking for me. I got 4 days in jail. Get on my level.

I think I'd rather stay on my level
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#135
I walked to a gas station at 1 in the morning and cops said I was going to rob it.
Even though I had $100 dollars already on me.

I don`t like the cops in pinson, they also pulled me and a friend over once and shoved guns in our windows because we drove through a bad neighborhood and they though we must have drugs then.
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#136
Something that ****s with my head is I didn't take anything at the gas station, I just kind of destroyed it and insurance paid for it all. At the grocery store, I destroyed a bunch of shit (insurance again), but I took a 2$ Hawaiian Punch with 3 dollars in my pocket. They wouldn't let me pay for it
#137
I'm sure I posted in this thread within the last hour but I can't find it anywhere. I sure hope I didn't accidentally post it somewhere else.
#138
You did, it was about your teacher`s bulge
Quote by Butt Rayge
My old guitar teacher used to wear really tight jeans and when he'd ask me to watch him play something to try and match his technique he always seemed to have his fretting hand on the higher frets just above his junk. The bulge was impossible to avoid. Once you notice it, you can't ignore it.
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#139
So, some guy on a social network was having a bad day, I guess. He posts, “say happy holidays to me….. i wont respond”. I posted “happy holidays to me…..” and he got royally butthurt. I was reading this page and when I come back, he posted 2 messages talking shit about me not replying to his first message. So I told him I was masturbating to his profile picture. He was not pleased. I asked him what was wrong before I made him butthurt, and he makes a new post talking about people trying to act hard online when he’s a “blackbelt in mma and a marine”. I told him I wasn’t trying to be hard, just trying to be nice. No reply. A few minutes later he makes a post about people who think it’s wrong to smoke weed are ‘fckin stupid’. Should I reply?
#140
Quote by bradulator
I also jacked off pretty often to girls gone wild commercials back when they used to come on at 2am. I remember me and my cousin just sitting and watching them sometimes.


my nigga
#141
-I once jerked off on a stairwell because I was bored of doing it in private. Totally not worth the shame.
-I've never had sex with a guy, then again I've never implied otherwise.
-If I did have sex with a dude, I probably wouldn't tell anyone out of fear of judgement.
-I don't really understand who I am yet. I don't know what I want to do with myself.
-I've dropped out of school for two years, and have learned more about life during this time than I ever did before.
-The Pit actually shaped a lot of my interests. When someone seriously disses this place, I start to get defensive, but I still realize that it's only an internet forum, so I feel like a loser.
-I've been lonely for a year, and I'm a better person because of it.
-I don't trust my family at all.
-I'm very self-absorbed, very indulgent, very elitist yet still learning to form my own opinions.
-I use Twitter to make bad jokes. A lot.
#142
Quote by FireFromTheVoid
You did, it was about your teacher`s bulge

thank christ. I was stressing that I posted it on facebook or something.

I didn't look at the last page because I was convinced it wasn't more than half an hour ago. I've been sharing a bottle of red with myself and have clearly lost track of time.
#143
So I was talking to a gay guy on previously mentioned social network about what I should do to the homophobic. After an hour, he began advances. Post ending in 7 decides my response.
#144
I assume other rock (and related genres) guitarists know fuck all about music until they show me otherwise.

I spend way too much time in MT...
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#145
Yeah, like someone else said I hide this place from everyone I know irl. When people (my family) walk by I minimize it like it's porn.

I also hide my music from most people. I'm not ashamed, I just don't like to talk about it to people who wouldn't get it.

First time I masturbated was "floor humping" but on my uncle's bed. I wasn't even thinking about anything at first, I just wanted to see what it felt like. I thought it'd hurt which it kinda did at the time but it felt more good than anything. Then for some reason thinking about my grandpa's aid came to mind.

I also think I was caught with porn by my father and possibly another time with my mother but I'm not sure, nothing was ever said about them.
Last edited by Bob_Sacamano at Dec 16, 2012,
#146
I cannot own a calender. Planning or having plans, knowing what day it is, or having any concept of time goes against every grain of my being. I didn't know what order the months were in until after I got out of college.

I basically live day to day and as if each one was my last, since birth.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#148
Quote by muffinduck01
Reminds me how I used to jack off to the girls gone wild commercials they used to have on Comedy Central a few years back. I purposefully DVR'd late night shows just for those.

> Living in an era with DVR and high internet speeds
> Masturbate to GGW commercials

What the hell is wrong with you?

It was one thing back when everyone was on dial-up with shared family computers and out of necessity you had to stay up til 3 am to catch the elusive frame of unscrambled HBO late night television.

I'd be straight up embarrassed to admit to beating it to a commercial after DSL was widespread.
#149
Quote by mystical_1
I cannot own a calender. Planning or having plans, knowing what day it is, or having any concept of time goes against every grain of my being. I didn't know what order the months were in until after I got out of college.


wtf
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#150
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
> Living in an era with DVR and high internet speeds
> Masturbate to GGW commercials

What the hell is wrong with you?

It was one thing back when everyone was on dial-up with shared family computers and out of necessity you had to stay up til 3 am to catch the elusive frame of unscrambled HBO late night television.

I'd be straight up embarrassed to admit to beating it to a commercial after DSL was widespread.

Yes, because I had control over what services my mom paid for.

My mom was (and still is, to an extent) computer illiterate. Having fast internet didn't really mean anything to her, because all she did was send and check her e-mail. But she watched a lot of TV, so we got digital cable before we got DSL.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#152
I never tell people who my favourite band is because they wouldn't know who they are.

I have masturbated in every room of my house. I am actually quite proud of this.
#154
Quote by jakesmellspoo
-
-i enjoy The Cable Guy and watch it every time it's on TV


You're god damned right

-The Devil Wears Prada is one of my favorite movies. Bitches need to recognize Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep
-I hate the hell out of one of my sisters. I'm only nice to her so I don't have to hear her incessantly bitch at me like she does to everyone else in the house for no reason
-I have numerous dreams about Cole Hamels being my dad
#155
Quote by soundgarden1986

-I have numerous dreams about Cole Hamels being my dad

Oh my god
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#156
^^That reminds me, I despise everything about my father and have for a long time now but I don't think I've ever told anyone irl, I just don't like to talk about it. I'm not sure anyone really knows how I feel about him although it should be kind of implied with the shit he does.
#157
Quote by WCPhils
Oh my god





Quote by Bob_Sacamano
^^That reminds me, I despise everything about my father and have for a long time now but I don't think I've ever told anyone irl, I just don't like to talk about it. I'm not sure anyone really knows how I feel about him although it should be kind of implied with the shit he does.


Yeah same. Except I tell a lot of people I know because it's an interesting, if terrible story. It just doesn't bother me to talk about it
#158
I have drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes to fit in more than five times
#159
Quote by soundgarden1986

Not laughing in a mean way. It just caught me off-guard, lol

Made me think of this

___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...