Page 1 of 5
fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#1
I know there's a Cracked thread and all, but I think the article I just read deserves its own thread:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Hands down the best serious-type article I've read on the site. (John Cheese can suck it)

I didn't think something I saw on the internet could help me as much as this did, but thanks to this I feel more inspired now. I know a lot of you in the Pit are talented and useful members of society, but I am not and I thought this article might be a good read for those of you who also aren't.

Based on intense fears of failure and rejection, I've wasted my life and have nothing to offer. Yet. I'm going to use this next year building specific skill sets so I can stop feeling shitty.

Hope someone else finds this useful, and for those of you who are already have value, go ahead and brag and stuff.

Herpy holudays
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
Last edited by fail at Dec 18, 2012,
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#2
Want a better piece of advice? Don't read lists of 'x number of things to do to improve your life'.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#3
Quote by Todd Hart
Want a better piece of advice? Don't read lists of 'x number of things to do to improve your life'.


Convince me by way of orderly, numbered information, smart-butt
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
naedauuf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
1,025 IQ
#4
Your username says it all.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#5
Quote by naedauuf
Your username says it all.


I totally did not see that one coming.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#6
Quote by fail
Convince me by way of orderly, numbered information, smart-butt


8 reasons why you shouldn't read 'X number of things that Y' lists:

1. They're stupid

2. They ignore obvious variables

3. They're just a ploy to get more site traffic

4. Most of the information is wrong

5. They are highly opinionated and subjective

6. They are generally just made up on the spot with no real thought

7. They always deal in absolutes

8. They're stupid
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
Jackal58
Pit Daddy
Join date: Mar 2007
2,486 IQ
#7
It told me not to read it.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#8
David Wong and John Cheese are both cunts
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
naedauuf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
1,025 IQ
#9
Quote by WCPhils
David Wong and John Cheese are both cunts

Aside from Swaim and O'Brien, the whole staff are cunts.

That's not saying those two aren't, but I get entertained from atleast half their articles.

John Cheese though, **** that guy.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#10
Quote by theogonia777
8 reasons why you shouldn't read 'X number of things that Y' lists:

1. They're stupid

2. They ignore obvious variables

3. They're just a ploy to get more site traffic

4. Most of the information is wrong

5. They are highly opinionated and subjective

6. They are generally just made up on the spot with no real thought

7. They always deal in absolutes

8. They're stupid


Of course it's titled that way to attract readers. If you forget the format you usually have any other opinion piece. It's not necessarily without value. It doesn't kill anyone to read it.

Gad, I forgot how wadded up the Pit's panties were sometimes
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#11
Quote by naedauuf
Aside from Swaim and O'Brien, the whole staff are cunts.

That's not saying those two aren't, but I get entertained from atleast half their articles.

The only one I actually like is Gladstone, and I guess the ones who don't write serious stuff like Bowie. The rest are assholes.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Jackal58
Pit Daddy
Join date: Mar 2007
2,486 IQ
#12
Harsh truth #7 - Two Wongs don't make a white.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
Mister.Y
something something
Join date: Mar 2005
789 IQ
#13
Wohey, the ghost of Ayn Rand. So full of sophism, arrogance and plain bullshit it's hardly funny. And that's just the first couple of ''truths''. The rest is some self-help hard love talk?

Whatever works for you, man.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
naedauuf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
1,025 IQ
#14
Quote by WCPhils
The only one I actually like is Gladstone, and I guess the ones who don't write serious stuff like Bowie. The rest are assholes.

**** I knew I was forgetting someone. I like Gladstone, too.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#16
Quote by Mister.Y
Wohey, the ghost of Ayn Rand. So full of sophism, arrogance and plain bullshit it's hardly funny. And that's just the first couple of ''truths''. The rest is some self-help hard love talk?

Whatever works for you, man.



So why exactly is it incorrect?
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#18
Quote by fail
Of course it's titled that way to attract readers. If you forget the format you usually have any other opinion piece. It's not necessarily without value. It doesn't kill anyone to read it.

Gad, I forgot how wadded up the Pit's panties were sometimes


And I forgot that some people aren't too clever.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
naedauuf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2009
1,025 IQ
#20
Quote by gonzaw
Pff, if it wasn't written by Seanbaby it's not worth my time


(I still read and enjoy all of them lol)

He is the WORST of the worst! I remember when he hosted Attack of the Show (back when it wasn't shit) for a little bit. He is such a pretentious **** sucking macho dickhead. His writing style sucks too. Always has this undertone of douchiness.

No offense, not attacking you, just him.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#21
Quote by theogonia777
And I forgot that some people aren't too clever.


I forgot how muddied the line between clever and cynical was
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#22
Quote by fail
I forgot how muddied the line between clever and cynical was


I forgot how poor some people's memory can be.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#23
Quote by naedauuf
He is the WORST of the worst! I remember when he hosted Attack of the Show (back when it wasn't shit) for a little bit. He is such a pretentious **** sucking macho dickhead. His writing style sucks too. Always has this undertone of douchiness.

No offense, not attacking you, just him.

I think that's just his style of writing. It's kind of the joke I guess. Like he's supposed to sound like a douche.

Cheese just is a douche though
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#24
Quote by theogonia777
I forgot how poor some people's memory can be.



...I forgot how to Pit.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#25
Are people still mad at Cheese for making fun of puns?

I always liked his articles. They're very true. Or is this a "I don't want discussion of serious issues on my comedy website" thing?
gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#26
Quote by WCPhils
The only one I actually like is Gladstone, and I guess the ones who don't write serious stuff like Bowie. The rest are assholes.


I kind of like him but in every single article of his he fellates David Bowie and Soundgarden and other obscure 80's/90's bands I've never heard of and it's gotten boring lately.

Jacopo de Garcia (or something) is awesome too. Just puts out interesting stuff about the world in list form, and the historical stuff he puts out is like 100 times more interesting than what's taught in school


Quote by naedauuf
He is the WORST of the worst! I remember when he hosted Attack of the Show (back when it wasn't shit) for a little bit. He is such a pretentious **** sucking macho dickhead. His writing style sucks too. Always has this undertone of douchiness.

No offense, not attacking you, just him.


Sorry but his WWE and "advice books" articles have me in tears every single time
I don't know what Attack of the Show is though.

Although the worst guy hands down is that "chef" guy who started an article with "Don't you hate those cooks that give you 'advice' but instead tell you to buy a lot of shitty cooking stuff?" and then proceeded to tell us to buy a lot of shitty cooking stuff.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#27
Quote by fail
...I forgot how to Pit.


I just remembered something I forgot, but now I've forgotten what I forgot.

Wait, I remembered it. I wanted to ask if it's true that people routinely spend the night in Utah in caves up in the hills like the narrator in Friend of the Devil.

Do people routinely spend the night in Utah in caves up in the hills like the narrator in Friend of the Devil?
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Dec 18, 2012,
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#28
Quote by CoreysMonster
Are people still mad at Cheese for making fun of puns?

Almost forgot about that

Nah, I've always disliked him. His articles suck and everytime I've tried to post in the forums, him or Wong delete my comments.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#29
Quote by CoreysMonster
Are people still mad at Cheese for making fun of puns?

I always liked his articles. They're very true. Or is this a "I don't want discussion of serious issues on my comedy website" thing?


I'm still mad at him for making me think Monty Python were writing cracked articles at first
fail
Custom Mandy Moore avatar
Join date: Jan 2008
1,428 IQ
#30
Quote by CoreysMonster
Are people still mad at Cheese for making fun of puns?

I always liked his articles. They're very true. Or is this a "I don't want discussion of serious issues on my comedy website" thing?


For me it's his Dad-tone. The article I posted is too, but every John Cheese one I read it's like he's bragging about how hard his life was. Not that he doesn't make good points, of course.

Quote by theogonia777
I just remembered something I forgot, but now I've forgotten what I forgot.

Wait, I remembered it. I wanted to ask if it's true that people routinely spend the night in Utah in caves up in the hills like the narrator in Friend of the Devil.

Do people routinely spend the night in Utah in caves up in the hills like the narrator in Friend of the Devil?


Dude yes, so many mountain dwellers here. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a fat-ass so I could hike up there and make documentaries about them.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
K!!LsWiTcH
Not a fan of KSE
Join date: Sep 2006
1,420 IQ
#32
1. this motha****as name is mitt
2. he a ho
3. he a mormon and he aint go no bitches
4. this motha****as name is mitt...
Mister.Y
something something
Join date: Mar 2005
789 IQ
#33
Quote by fail
So why exactly is it incorrect?


He makes rash generalisations about the world and what the world will do to you in a decidedly materialistic, economic (simplistic) form of discourse. He takes this biased view of the world as granted and the goal for a human being to fight his way into success as it is defined by the author. He beats his "If you want to work here, close."-line and patient-metaphor into dullness and meaninglessness.

It is maybe not as much incorrect as it is ignoring other ways of viewing the world, not as a free market where you have to be a unique wantable product to be able to sell yourself to the highest bidder.
According to some scholars it is this form of discourse, which is now dominant in most western civilization, that is the cause of a rise in psychological distress. People feel inadequate because they can't live up to a standard which is pounded on us by businesses, schools, media alike: you have to be successfull in whatever you do. And that leaves, by definition, a lot of people down and out.

You do not have to be a unique person with a unique set of skills. You can try to be happy with the way you are. You do not have to make a ton of money and have the most beautiful wife to find some sort meaning in your life.
And what is more, there's been a bloody purple nose and some bloody purple clothes that were messing up the lobby floor. It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools remember : one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
Funky_Fresh91
So fresh a so clean clean
Join date: May 2008
130 IQ
#34
Oh god, I read one of those 'self-help' articles.

I liked it though TS, it actually helped me.
Catch the Dragon
Quote by hriday_hazarika
This thread is as terrible as music, which sucks balls.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#35
Quote by fail
Dude yes, so many mountain dwellers here. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a fat-ass so I could hike up there and make documentaries about them.


Wow, you must have the sheriff with his twenty hounds chasing people all the time. Are the hounds loud? I wouldn't be surprised if the guys in the caves weren't the only ones that don't get any sleep until the morning comes around, what with all the noisy hounds out and about all the time.

Also you're a fat chick? Do you have any pictures?
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
JayT44
all my verses is poetry
Join date: May 2008
2,724 IQ
#36
This is a great article. Not for improving myself, but gaining psychological knowledge. It's all very true what he says; reading a realist attitude article is always refreshing. Thanks for sharing!
daytripper75

Bullieve


Quote by Amuro Jay
I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
Quote by lolmnt
First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#37
Quote by theogonia777
Are the hounds loud? I wouldn't be surprised if the guys in the caves weren't the only ones that don't get any sleep until the morning comes around, what with all the noisy hounds out and about all the time.

Also you're a fat chick? Do you have any pictures?

I read this in the voice of Hannibal Lector and almost pissed myself in the middle of class.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#38
Quote by CoreysMonster
I read this in the voice of Hannibal Lector and almost pissed myself in the middle of class.


Why did you read it in Hannibal Lector's voice? That's just so random. Unless... It's because you think I'm some sort of creepy cannibal chick, don't you?
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#39
Quote by theogonia777
Why did you read it in Hannibal Lector's voice? That's just so random. Unless... It's because you think I'm some sort of creepy cannibal chick, don't you?

Your post triggered a memory of this part and it just happened:
You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.


theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,163 IQ
#40
Memory is a weird thing, isn't it?
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.