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#81
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Just keep trying dude!

tell her something like " I just want you to know I love you, And that I want to be back inside of you like before I was born, Just this time only with my penis"


Dude, that's my mum you're talking graphically and explicitly about. Not cryogenic, man.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#82
Quote by boreamor
Me: So why haven't we had sex?
Her: For ****s sake stop asking me that!
Me: ... I never have.
Her: You've been drinking more than you think.

Oh shit.

This is the best one in the thread

I would, but I have a girlfriend.
#85
luckily i know somebody perfect to send this to. dead meat in my contacts, hot, don't speak to her anymore, have no relationship with her i can ruin, doesn't go to my college. i will report back when she replies, just sending it to her now.


EDIT: well, shit.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
Last edited by laid-to-waste at Dec 21, 2012,
#86
Quote by laid-to-waste
luckily i know somebody perfect to send this to. dead meat in my contacts, hot, don't speak to her anymore, have no relationship with her i can ruin, doesn't go to my college. i will report back when she replies, just sending it to her now.


EDIT: well, shit.

Well, you know what that means
#87
Quote by laid-to-waste

EDIT: well, shit.

LOL

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#88
Quote by StewieSwan
I did this last time this thread popped up. She said "uh, because I live in Missouri?"


Is that an admission that she wants to sex me or no?

I live in Missouri. Give her my number.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#89
I did this while chilling with a friend to a girl who's a slut, all for the lolz, I wasn't even going to sex her if she said yes. She flipped shit and put it on Instagram. She blurred out my name but damn, she definitely overreacted.

Anyway, idk who to text since I'm basically with a girl, and we've already boned.
Quote by willT08
Quote by HowSoonisNow
How was Confucius death metal?
You've clearly never read any Confuscius.

As I wait on the edge of the earth,
I can see the walls being torn down again
Only to be rebuilt in another name,
On a different day
#90
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Well, you know what that means

that i'm a pussy?
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#91
Quote by thePTOD
I did this while chilling with a friend to a girl who's a slut, all for the lolz, I wasn't even going to sex her if she said yes. She flipped shit and put it on Instagram. She blurred out my name but damn, she definitely overreacted.

Anyway, idk who to text since I'm basically with a girl, and we've already boned.


That's why I don't do stuff like this. Pretty much all the chicks where I live would post it on facebook or some crap like that acting like I tried to rape them or something.
#92
Quote by Jako215
That's why I don't do stuff like this. Pretty much all the chicks where I live would post it on facebook or some crap like that acting like I tried to rape them or something.

if that happened to me my backup plan would've been to comment with "it was a bet, you drama-whoring fuckhole. i wouldn't touch you with a 10ft pole." if she didn't add your name, then leave it. nobody will know or care.

you can get out of anything with prep
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#93
Quote by Jako215
That's why I don't do stuff like this. Pretty much all the chicks where I live would post it on facebook or some crap like that acting like I tried to rape them or something.

This happened back in like July. I was acquaintances with the girl Nd I knew she got around. I even told her it was a joke afterward. I saw her once in a Walmart after this occurred and did a complete U-turn

Anyway I will try this on someone soon. I must just figure out who since all the girls I'd try it with would find it either funny, or be down.
Quote by willT08
Quote by HowSoonisNow
How was Confucius death metal?
You've clearly never read any Confuscius.

As I wait on the edge of the earth,
I can see the walls being torn down again
Only to be rebuilt in another name,
On a different day
#94
Yea I don't think I'd ever do this lol. It's just too out-of-character for me.

Which would make it funnier, but ehhh.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#95
It's even worse when they start ganging up on you on facebook. I saw that happen to my brother and he was saying pretty innocent stuff, but these girls were just ripping him a new one. Like wow, take a chill pill, it's just a joke.
#96
Quote by shattamakar
Dude, that's my mum you're talking graphically and explicitly about. Not cryogenic, man.

Just say "Come on mom I've already been in your vagina before".
#97
Quote by Jako215
It's even worse when they start ganging up on you on facebook. I saw that happen to my brother and he was saying pretty innocent stuff, but these girls were just ripping him a new one. Like wow, take a chill pill, it's just a joke.

Wouldn't the proper response if that happened be "Why haven't we all had sex yet?"
#98
Quote by Jako215
It's even worse when they start ganging up on you on facebook. I saw that happen to my brother and he was saying pretty innocent stuff, but these girls were just ripping him a new one. Like wow, take a chill pill, it's just a joke.

He should've just been like 'Ladies, there's enough of me to go around. No need to crowd.'
Breakfast, Breakfast, it's great for us
We eat, we eat, we eat
That frozen meat
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, it can't be beat
#99
Quote by DiminishedFifth
Wouldn't the proper response if that happened be "Why haven't we all had sex yet?"


Quote by Crazyedd123
He should've just been like 'Ladies, there's enough of me to go around. No need to crowd.'

Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#100
I asked somebody I'd actually have sex with in person instead of texting her. It... it didn't go over well. Even after explaining it was a joke she was still pissed.
#101
"We have jackass, remember last month, I gave you a ride you were f*ckin hammered. Now I'm pregnant. Ring a bell?"

*flees country*


Seriously though, I ain't got the stones for this. All the girls in my contacts are:

1. Sister in laws, friend's girlfriends.
2. Lesbians
3. Have already had sex with.

I might try this with one of the lesbos though, ohh, if I had the balls.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
#102
>implying I have the number of anyone I want to sex
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#103
No one in my phone I feel like texting that too, so I went to one of my UG buds

Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
#104
I'd love to do this, but there's no one that I could text that it wouldn't be an awful idea.
Quote by GuitarGod_92
when I die of a brain aneurysm I want it on record that its the film threads fault

Quote by GuitarGod_92
Movies are all bad every last one of them

Quote by yope
Fungus has a right to exist. It's a valid life form.
#105
"I checked my messages and then i JIZZED IN MY PANTS"

My friend has excellent taste.
#106
Well, isn't this thread old.
I'd just like to say that I just found out (remembered) that sending this to a girl, with whom I've only spoken about 10 lines on facebook in 3 years before, was the beginning of goofing around and having shits and giggles, which eventually developed in a (rather bumpy and not really successful) relationship.
But hey, still something. I guess I have to try this again sometime.
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
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