#1
so hey

I'm the main instrumentalist in an indie folk band, so my fortes are in playing guitar and bass and drums, i dont do the lyrics thing

so someone wrote this and asked me to edit and compose the instrumentation

i have some ideas, but any suggestions?
it mostly doesn't feel right rhythmically and the rhyme is a hit sketchy

help?


....

Every time I see your eyes.
Every time I see your smile.
Every time I hear your voice.
I wonder if you're real.
I ask myself everyday.
Am I dreaming of you?
Or is it all a dream?
I feel I'll wake up one day.
And you'll be gone forever.
Leavin' me by myself.
Somewhere out there.
Cuz every time I see your eyes.
Cuz every time I see your smile.
Cuz every time I hear your voice.
I wonder if you're real.
Really there.
A dream.
My charming.
My love.
You're amazing.
I won't leave you.
Never alone.
With me.
Forever.
My dream.

....
#2
It seems like a whole lot of ideas that are almost together, but not quite.

Cuz every time I see your eyes.
Cuz every time I see your smile.
Cuz every time I hear your voice.
I wonder if you're real.


I take it this part is the chorus of your song, or at least it should be. I like the simplicity
as making the song a whole, here's an example of what you could do with the last four lines:
"I'm never alone when you're with me
My love, you are forever my dream."

Nevertheless, keep it up! you have talent.