#2
The chords and synths work well, but some of the chords feel like they could have more impact if they were a bit different. I only bar 18 -25 for this, cuz I think this song has great potential, and needs a lot of musical crafting and shaping. This also makes it feel greater than it seems, as I'm guessing your idea was an epitaph of sorts, but this could probably be an epitaph for like, the sun or something.
Attachments:
Poem to deads Epi-fied intro.gp4
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#3
I kept waiting for it to pick up. Thankfully it did at about the half-way mark. The first half of the song, however, just seems to drag on a little too much. Once it picked up I really enjoyed it, I just feel like it took too long to do so.

If you've got a minute, would you mind critiquing mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1581231
Quote by rocklee1431
Wow, these all suck. Except for the Moth Whisperer over there.


Quote by VanTheKraut
If you voted anything other this, you're wrong and a queer and I personally challenge every last one of you to pistols at dawn.
#4
Hi there!
First of all let me tell that I usually lurk around this section and been following your songs for a while
You are making nice progress, this one could end very nice if recorded.

It starts out very solemn and majestic, I really like the intro, good job!
The next section is perfect for what it is, a nice funeral doom riff, don't change anything here.
In the Interlude I something seems a bit off, the notes on the dist guitar is not what my ear expects to hear.
Also you could try making the bass play more than just a root note in some sections, to spice things up a bit.
Interlude II is nice, also don't change it
I see that in Interlude III you try to add some ambience, nice, if you make a real recording of this you could add some nice effects here, like maybe a bit of rain.
And it ends it a heavy as **** section, good!

Want to critique mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=30853195

Also I'm open to trade ideas and maybe do some collabs