Page 1 of 2
#1
Hey Pit. This is my first time posting here, so if there's any sort of etiquette that I’ve eschewed then I apologize.

So on the 14th I'll be going to college, and it will actually be my very first day of school. I was home schooled my whole life, and dropped out around the 7th or 8th grade due to some unfortunate family circumstances.

I have my GED, I've applied for virtually all of the financial aid that I know of, I have my text books, but the one area that I have no idea how to prepare myself is simply dealing with people. I'm not really fearful of social interactions at all; I just don't really know how to casually talk to people. This is an unsettling thought for me because I really want to experience having a normal social life, but the one thing you really can't learn at home is basic human interactions.


My education is obviously my first priority, but since I never really had the opportunity to make many friends up until this point I would really hate **** up the social aspects of going to college while I’m there. I guess I'm not really even sure what I'm asking for - How to make friends? How to make small talk with strangers? How to get laid?


But really, I'm lost, and by no means too proud to admit it, so here I am. If anyone has any basic tips for socializing with strangers and making friends, I'd be pretty appreciative.

I should also mention that I'm in good shape, fairly well spoken (albeit quietly well spoken), and despite my past with school, I'm confident in my own intelligence. I know something like this brings up all sorts of neckbeard thoughts and images, but I'm honestly just a normal guy whose never really had the chance to go to a regular school and make regular friends.
#3
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#4
You're going from 8th grade homeschooling as your last schooling related environment, to college?
#5
I'm pretty indifferent to everyone... Possibly as a result of not meeting anyone.
#6
Join a frat. Easy way into an active social life. Make sure it's a good one. You're looking for best case scenario 6:4 douchebag ratio with 20% of the douchebags actually being good dudes, but still douchey.
#7
Quote by rockingamer2
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This.

Easiest way to make friends who share your interests.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#8
Quote by Steyr9001
I'm pretty indifferent to everyone... Possibly as a result of not meeting anyone.

Being quiet and indifferent may give people the wrong impression of you. If you chat a bit and are nice, people will see that you're a nice guy who just doesn't talk much and not some asshole shut in.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#10
Quote by rockingamer2
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This.

Clubs are the best way to improve your social skills, especially clubs that do things that require you to talk and participate. For instance, drama club is an excellent example. Or a club directly related to your major.
#11
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
*awaits due 07*

Is there something particular in this thread that you expect him to object to, or are you just noting that you wish due 07 was online?
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#12
Are you going to be living on campus or just commuting?

If you're commuting to college then you really won't have to worry about socializing. It's kind of just like show up for an hour or 2 then go home. I've had quite a few classes where I didn't have to say a single word all semester (those are the best). You might get a professor though that is all about group work, presentations, and classroom participation (those are aweful).

If you're living on campus though, then you're probably going to want to develop some social skills. It'll probably start with your room-mate, then branch out from there.

Good luck
Last edited by AxeToFall at Jan 6, 2013,
#13
Quote by blake1221
You're going from 8th grade homeschooling as your last schooling related environment, to college?


After I took the test for my GED They said I was more than ready to start college. Any formal schooling stopped for me around middle school equivalent, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything afterwards. I've always been pretty self-motivated so I would end up researching pretty much anything that caught my interested until I ran out of information or my curiousity had been satisfied. The only area I had serious trouble with was math. I actually scored the highest of my testing group.

Quote by rockingamer2
See if there are any clubs you'd like to check out.

This is a good idea, but depending on the schedules I may not be able to with work.
#14
The best way is to not put too much pressure on yourself to make friends. Just hang out with people by joining clubs, or if you live in a dorm, with the people on your floor. It might be easier at times to listen rather than to talk. You'll get used to talking to people in college that way. The worst thing you can do is to lock yourself in your room all day and be unsociable. Just follow your interests, be genuine, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Also don't do things that you're not comfortable doing. Fitting a square peg into a round hole only will cause problems.

As for getting a girlfriend, just be confident. Be yourself, treat them well, and don't lower your standards just so that you can get laid. You'll only regret it later. Also prove that you're competent, whether it's being in good shape, smart, funny, or just having a skill. You're on a music website, so if you can play an instrument that is one good example.

Probably the most important thing is to have integrity. If immature people are bothering you, ignore them. Do some charitable work. That can often bring you respect and several clubs are based on doing charitable work. I'm in Habitat for Humanity and I love it. Also you may not want to join a frat if you're not used to being around a lot of guys your age. If you don't end up in a good frat, you can end up having a horrible time. There are other ways to be sociable anyway.
#15
Quote by AxeToFall
Are you going to be living on campus or just commuting?

If you're commuting to college then you really won't have to worry about socializing. It's kind of just like show up for an hour or 2 then leave. I've had quite a few classes where I didn't have to say a single word all semester (those are the best). You might get a professor though that is all about group work, presentations, and class room participation (those are aweful).

If you're living on campus though, then you're probably going to want to develop some social skills. It'll probably start with your room-mate, then branch out from there.

Good luck


Commuting - Whatever financial aid can't cover is coming out my pocket, and it's pretty rough for a middle school drop out to find nice paying job. Living on campus would just cost me way too much.

I should clarify that I'm not worried I'll have to socialize, socializing is actually what I want. I just don't have any idea how to go about it.


But hey, thanks for the luck.
Last edited by Steyr9001 at Jan 6, 2013,
#16
Quote by ErikLensherr
Is there something particular in this thread that you expect him to object to, or are you just noting that you wish due 07 was online?

Both?


Nah, was just making a crack at how last time homeschooling was brought up he talked about all the stuff op mentioned. I really don't think kids have a choice, though.
#17
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Both?


Nah, was just making a crack at how last time homeschooling was brought up he talked about all the stuff op mentioned. I really don't think kids have a choice, though.


Not at all.

Except for the most brainwashed of radical christians, no home schooled kid I've ever met wanted to be home schooled.


It's really pretty shitty.
#18
There are a lot of small things you can just simply do to increase your chances of interaction as well. Every time you go to class make sure you sit next to someone/a group of people. Kids talk in class and share in their disdain of the teacher and work so its an easy way to connect to people and obviously you have something in common off the bat. Expand by asking their majors and whatnot. You kinda even have a leg up by having a different background than most people, and depending how you present your scenario it could become a great social point. Be light about it and be like "yeah I'm the awkward byproduct of homeschooling so I'm pretty much struggling to talk" after telling your background and make a joke of it. Kids will laugh because thats generally a stereotype and then realize that you dont fit it because you can be lighthearted and funny about it.

I dont know if you enjoy smoking the reefer or drinking but an easy way to meet girls is to just sit next to them, act as though class is a total drag and youre way too cool and have stuff to do to possibly be there and just turn to the girl and be like "so are you particularly enjoying being here right now? Most likely she'll be like wtf, no? wut? and then you come in with "yeah me neither, I'm about to go back to my place and smoke a bowl and listen to some music, wanna join me?" I would say this works 2/3 times but that 1 time it doesn't you still have to leave and go through with it which can stink.

I was super socially awkward until i realized one thing: You can be so outgoing that you literally set a standard for yourself that you can say anything and its not ridiculous and thats when I started to shine. Catch people off guard with how honest or down to earth you are and make fun of everything equally [let others call you out and embelish upon their jokes] and youll seem like a really lively, refreshing, and fun to be around person.
Currently Playing:
Arma 2/3, Dayz, GW2, GTA, Splinter Cell, ESO, FF:X, Pokemon X
#19
As someone said, join a fraternity. Don't let stereotypes fool you! Joining a fraternity is a great way to put yourself out there and also helps with a resume. Just make sure you get to know what the fraternity is about and your values align with each other. Excellent way to build social skills, team skills, leadership skills, and much more. Also at my school, fraternities and sororities don't do any hazing or that kind of bs and I'm sure most schools don't.
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Elite
Squier Strat
Fender Acoustic
Line 6 POD XT-Live
Blackstar HT-1 Combo
#20
Simply going on how you expressed yourself, you are in no way a social recluse, and should have nothing to worry about. I'm in the UK and don't know what age this would make you... but a few beers makes getting laid way easier.

Be yourself, its all that you can be.

Don't worry about making an impression, or wondering 'do they like me' just be a top lad, a cool guy. The less you worry, the easier everything is - Mark 2013
#21
How big is the college that you're going to? Talk to the people you sit next to before class starts and talk about forming study groups. I've made plenty of friends that way, many more through my dorm/living community, and a few here and there through clubs because I don't regularly go to meetings. Most colleges have twitters or facebook groups as well where you can buy and sell textbooks, sports tickets, and make plans and friends fairly easily.
Quote by element4433
Be subtle with it. Don't like molest him.

And cup his balls.


Quote by blake1221
If there's anything to take away from this thread, anything at all, it's to always cup the balls.
#22
Quote by butterfingers30
As someone said, join a fraternity. Don't let stereotypes fool you! Joining a fraternity is a great way to put yourself out there and also helps with a resume. Just make sure you get to know what the fraternity is about and your values align with each other. Excellent way to build social skills, team skills, leadership skills, and much more. Also at my school, fraternities and sororities don't do any hazing or that kind of bs and I'm sure most schools don't.


Truthfully I don't even know what fraternity's do.
#23
Quote by Steyr9001
Not at all.

Except for the most brainwashed of radical christians, no home schooled kid I've ever met wanted to be home schooled.


It's really pretty shitty.

Yeah, I've heard. At the same time though, no kid I've ever met at a school wanted to be there either


As for the advice, just try to be friendly and approach others. I doubt you'll have that hard of a time socializing if you want to.
#24
Quote by Steyr9001
Truthfully I don't even know what fraternity's do.

They do a little volunteer work and a lot of drinking and partying.
Quote by element4433
Be subtle with it. Don't like molest him.

And cup his balls.


Quote by blake1221
If there's anything to take away from this thread, anything at all, it's to always cup the balls.
#25
Quote by shavorules42
How big is the college that you're going to? Talk to the people you sit next to before class starts and talk about forming study groups. I've made plenty of friends that way, many more through my dorm/living community, and a few here and there through clubs because I don't regularly go to meetings. Most colleges have twitters or facebook groups as well where you can buy and sell textbooks, sports tickets, and make plans and friends fairly easily.


Around 20,000 students between 5 or 6 campuses.
#26
Quote by Steyr9001
Around 20,000 students between 5 or 6 campuses.

Then that should be a little easier for you to make friends because your classes are likely to be smaller, even though you'll be taking a lot of entry level freshman courses which are typically huge. Instead of having several hundred in an auditorium, you might have around 60-100 in a classroom which is much easier to make friends in since people will likely take the same seats.
Quote by element4433
Be subtle with it. Don't like molest him.

And cup his balls.


Quote by blake1221
If there's anything to take away from this thread, anything at all, it's to always cup the balls.
#28
Since no one's said it yet: ****in' 13'rs


With that out of the way, a key aspect to conversation is confidence, but overall just try and relax as much as you can. Don't slouch, but try not to worry too much about how you're presenting yourself. It's amazing how easily conversation can come if you're not worrying about what to say or do.
#29
Quote by shavorules42
Then that should be a little easier for you to make friends because your classes are likely to be smaller, even though you'll be taking a lot of entry level freshman courses which are typically huge. Instead of having several hundred in an auditorium, you might have around 60-100 in a classroom which is much easier to make friends in since people will likely take the same seats.


Maybe a stupid question, but is it normal to just lean over and be like "hey, what's up?" with anyone that happens to be next to you? I always thought things like that would come off as pretty strange behavior, honestly.

Quote by genghisgandi
Are you white?

Yeah.
#30
If a black person waves to you while crossing path, the proper etiquette is to say "waddup mah nigga?"

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#31
Quote by Steyr9001
Maybe a stupid question, but is it normal to just lean over and be like "hey, what's up?" with anyone that happens to be next to you? I always thought things like that would come off as pretty strange behavior, honestly.

Find a girl sitting alone and come up behind her and put your hands on her shoulders, and while rubbing, lean down and (directly into her ear) whisper "hey there."
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#32
Quote by Xiaoxi
If a black person waves to you while crossing path, the proper etiquette is to say "waddup mah nigga?"


I can't tell if this is a serious question or not.
#33
Quote by Xiaoxi
If a black person waves to you while crossing path, the proper etiquette is to say "waddup mah nigga?"



Generally. There are some that take exception to that, though.
Quote by rocklee1431
Wow, these all suck. Except for the Moth Whisperer over there.


Quote by VanTheKraut
If you voted anything other this, you're wrong and a queer and I personally challenge every last one of you to pistols at dawn.
#34
Quote by Steyr9001
Maybe a stupid question, but is it normal to just lean over and be like "hey, what's up?" with anyone that happens to be next to you? I always thought things like that would come off as pretty strange behavior, honestly


It depends. If you're fat and ugly and creepy, then don't do it. If you're a pretty cool guy, then that will probably work for you.


I don't know what I'm talking about
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life

But I will always find a way to survive
#35
Quote by StopReadingThis
It depends. If you're fat and ugly and creepy, then don't do it. If you're a pretty cool guy, then that will probably work for you.


I don't know what I'm talking about


Well that makes sense.
#36
what's your living situation going to be like? if you're living in the dorms all you have to do is introduce yourself and hang out with the people in your hall. everyone wants to meet new people and make friends so that should be a no brainer. if you click with someone, make sure you see them again!
#37
If you're bloody hilarious then you'll have no trouble.
Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
#38
Quote by Stugg334
If you're bloody hilarious then you'll have no trouble.


Well... Assume that I'm not.

Some people have said I'm funny and some think the opposite, so I really don't know.


Quote by TV-Casualty
what's your living situation going to be like? if you're living in the dorms all you have to do is introduce yourself and hang out with the people in your hall. everyone wants to meet new people and make friends so that should be a no brainer. if you click with someone, make sure you see them again!


I'll be living with my Dad and commuting.
#39
Quote by 5thCircuitRider
You remind me of me. I don't have the answer either. Also I hate everyone, so that helps.

Even me? D:
#40
Quote by rockingamer2
Being quiet and indifferent may give people the wrong impression of you. If you chat a bit and are nice, people will see that you're a nice guy who just doesn't talk much and not some asshole shut in.


This. I'm a quiet guy and don't like talking much at all, and made no real attempts at making friends or engaging with people my first semester of college and naturally came off as an asshole. I easily made friends my second semester just by having random conversations with people before and after class. It's easier in college because you generally take classes you want to take and meet people who share similar interests with you. I'm a music major and find it easy to spark up a conversation with people about music in my classes.
Page 1 of 2