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The Madcap
Classical Guitarist
Join date: May 2007
9,780 IQ
#1
Do you think that it's wrong or messed up for a girl or guy to start seeing someone very soon after a break-up?

I personally have never even known people felt that way until recently. Although I've only seen people feel that way about a girl seeing another guy right after a break-up. Not so much the other way around.
eGraham
Rattle That Lock
Join date: Oct 2008
1,539 IQ
#2
I think it can be harmful. But wrong, necessarily? I don't think so.

I've a friend who is intent on breaking up with his GF but is dragging it out because he's afraid to lose sex. He hasn't said that explicitly, but it's pretty obvious what he's doing. Now that, imo, is wrong.
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Controlpanel
qɐuuǝp
Join date: Feb 2011
1,403 IQ
#3
if the relationship was sincere, then there should be a mourning period.
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Amuro Jay
JOHNNY STOCK
Join date: Apr 2006
8,211 IQ
#4
idk i feel like it comes down to the person

i myself would be uncomfortable if someone who had just gotten out of a relationship took a sudden interest in me. i'd feel like they were just trying to fill a void.

maybe that's paranoid and judgmental of me, but hey, my paranoia could be just as poisonous to a relationship as ill intent.
blake1221
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Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#5
There's nothing "wrong" with it, but it can sometimes lead to some dysfunctional situations later on.
byob_soad2
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Join date: Apr 2007
492 IQ
#6
I'd say it's fine if you actually have an interest in the other person, and aren't just jumping into it because you are lonely and/or upset.
Eastwinn
through being cool
Join date: Dec 2008
3,131 IQ
#7
depends on stuff. no general statement can be made
supersac
Tab Contributor
Join date: Aug 2009
630 IQ
#8
no noone should date anyone ever


why do they get to be happy and not me


nah i dont care but if it was a long relationship id expect some time before they started dating
eGraham
Rattle That Lock
Join date: Oct 2008
1,539 IQ
#10
Quote by captaincrunk
the bitch ain't dead so why you be mourning?

Another good point.


I guess this is my ultimate view on the matter: If the relationship deserved to be mourned over, then the person will mourn. If not, they will move on. That level varies person to person.
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Dodeka
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
124 IQ
#11
Not sure; it probably varies by person.

My present "mourning period" (we'll call it that) is at 6.6 years and counting.
deadkenedy
UG Newbie
Join date: Feb 2004
358 IQ
#12
Who wants to be in a relationship after just getting out of one?
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TSmitty6
In the traphouse
Join date: Aug 2006
300 IQ
#13
My roommates watch this average show called How I Met Your Mother. According to that show, like the day after, and then get back with them, then lead the other person on, then have a one night stand, then get back with the original person again, then meet another. This should take place in about 2 weeks time.

3 months is a good cushion.
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ali.guitarkid7
Gets Easier
Join date: Oct 2009
2,302 IQ
#14
Of course not, it's not 'wrong' at all. It's got more to do with what you're comfortable with than morals.
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metal4eva_22
PonyFan #376121
Join date: Jul 2006
890 IQ
#15
I see nothing wrong with it, but I have been told that I'm detached and cold, so maybe I'm not the best source for this type of info.
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Aralingh
Intelligent person
Join date: Mar 2012
301 IQ
#16
It is usually looked down upon because most people who engage in a new relationship fairly soon after a previous ones are those who are too afraid on their own and therefore go into a relationship for wrong reasons, filling a void so to say.

It's not wrong if you are genuinely interested in the person.


However, it varies. People, MOST of the time, have some emotional baggage and left over from a previous relationship, which is why they usually wait before going into a new one, it's human psychology, and unless you're the exception, I would advise to wait because you're starting a relationship on bad foundation.
Last edited by Aralingh at Jan 11, 2013,
So-Cal
Banned
Join date: Jun 2009
264 IQ
#17
That's disgusting, I don't want to have to deal with that shit at any time let alone in the morning.
piratemetalhead
Registered User
Join date: May 2007
2,274 IQ
#18
It all depends on cultural and social circumstances... some circles of people will call you a monster for that, some won't care.

There's are peculiar situations, for example, people who look for new partners quickly out of fear of loneliness (like jetfuel said, to fill a void). Then there's kinds of malicious "revenge" kind of things, like a girl banging her ex's friend just to spite him. Human relationships are weird.

I guess there is also a difference if the past relationship was serious or simply a "for fun" thing.
Last edited by piratemetalhead at Jan 11, 2013,
Jack Off Jill
Is Voting MakinLattes.
Join date: Mar 2007
630 IQ
#19
A little. Because my girlfriend and I have brOken up dozens of times. Never for more than a month. So it depends on why they broke up, I suppose.
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Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Jan 11, 2013,
Thrashtastic15
socialist cuz bernie xd
Join date: Mar 2009
697 IQ
#20
Have to question the psyche of a person who would nearly immediately jump into a new relationship after ending a significant & long relationship, regardless of gender.
Powersurge213
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
224 IQ
#21
I had a girlfriend one who was a serial monogamist- we got together less than a week after she had broken it off with her ex (I had no idea), then after we broke up she had a new boyfriend in less than a week.
Some people just need to feel loved so who are we to criticise? Other than the fact she was a heartless bitch.... ;P
JackWhiteIsButts
Hard Boyled
Join date: Mar 2008
278 IQ
#22
Nope, not inherently wrong. People just don't want their ego's bruised particularly after they've been broken up with.
daytripper75
Hold mah diiiick!
Join date: Jun 2003
2,960 IQ
#23
I don't think there is one answer. I've gotten out of long term relationships that slowly fell apart. By the end, there wasn't much left as far as feelings go. I can understand moving on rather soon after that.
guitarxo
cat
Join date: Oct 2008
1,647 IQ
#24
I don't think it's wrong.

At least the breakup occurred before the person started seeing someone else. The usual implication is that the person with the new partner was cheating on their previous partner, but of course that isn't necessarily true.

idk breakups usually suck more for one side than the other and the person who is more affected by the breakup will obviously be more upset if this occurs, but all this is extremely subjective so you can't really say anything about it unless you're directly involved in the relationship
cat
jwax
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2008
1,400 IQ
#25
story time! so my ex girl left me because i got un believably drunk on my dead fathers birthday which is also new years eve. anyways, dumped me because of that, no sympathy for my depression/sorrow/grief didnt accept my apology...ect... immature child(me too for getting drunk lol) .
SO my bass player was dating her in less than two days. bass players amiritelol?
i dont think its wrong TS BUT when its your best friend i think that bass needs to be cracked across both his face....
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yoman297
hi
Join date: Oct 2010
1,476 IQ
#26
No, I wouldn't find it wrong unless one of them is seeing the other's best friend. That's sort of a dick move.

But something I know is a bit ****ed up:

My friend went through a shitty breakup with her boyfriend. She saw nudes of another girl on his phone, sent during the relationship. After that somehow she realized that she was just his "cum dumpster" and she broke up with him. After that he's been sending texts worthy of a TL;DR almost every day wanting her back. Yesterday he found her and told her about the dream he had about ****in a teacher.

This is why you cut all contact after a breakup, Pit.
CoreysMonster
Banned
Join date: Apr 2005
8,557 IQ
#27
I don't mind when I do it to others, but it makes me feel bad when other people do it to me.
the bartender
UG's biology teacher
Join date: Nov 2009
429 IQ
#28
I don't think it would be a good idea for anyone to engage in a new relationship when he/she is still in grief over a lost one, but I wouldn't say it's morally wrong. It completely depends on the person and the situation how long that period of grief takes though.

The only situation I can think of where I would judge someone on this is when he or she is being inconsiderate of their ex's feelings by engaging in a new relationship within a very short amount of time.
You who build these altars now

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You must not do it anymore
VillainousLatin
UG Newbie
Join date: Jul 2010
317 IQ
#29
Quote by eGraham


I've a friend who is intent on breaking up with his GF but is dragging it out because he's afraid to lose sex. He hasn't said that explicitly, but it's pretty obvious what he's doing. Now that, imo, is wrong.


I have a friend in the exact same position, except that he doesn't have sex with his GF and all of his relationship with her is basically built in lies and he doesn't end it because of some stupid reason. I don't know why he lies and hide so much of his life to a lot of people, I'm his best friend and ever since I've known him different people, including family members don't even know half his life. Also he have now started to go out with one girl, which ticks me off because even if you don't feel the same about your current relationship, I think it's wrong to start cheating just because you're a coward and can't end a relationship.

That being said, my ex had a boyfriend about 3 weeks after she broke up with me and to tell the truth, it's what has made it harder for me to move on (also because I'm a bitch) since I don't know if she was cheating on me or she is just quick to get in relationships. I don't know if it's wrong but it could hurt the other person a lot, but then again, I doubt they'd care much about what happens to their ex's (and they shouldn't, really) so it doesn't matter.
Last edited by VillainousLatin at Jan 11, 2013,
OVER9000VIDEOS
that ain't falco
Join date: Feb 2011
589 IQ
#30
Quote by metal4eva_22
I see nothing wrong with it, but I have been told that I'm detached and cold, so maybe I'm not the best source for this type of info.




"I may not be the best source for relationship type stuff, probably because I'm detached and cold."
Last edited by OVER9000VIDEOS at Jan 11, 2013,
karstaag666
Karstaag666
Join date: May 2008
1,401 IQ
#31
If someone breaks a relationship and then starts a new one with someone else straight after, it usually means that person has been working towards the new relationship whilst in the previous one. That is wrong.
the bartender
UG's biology teacher
Join date: Nov 2009
429 IQ
#32
Quote by karstaag666
If someone breaks a relationship and then starts a new one with someone else straight after, it usually means that person has been working towards the new relationship whilst in the previous one. That is wrong.

I wouldn't say that's necessarily wrong, it depends on how the person handled the situation. If the attraction towards someone else was the reason for the break-up, but the person didn't actually act upon it untill the relationship was ended, then I don't really see a problem with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with falling in love with someone else while you're in a relationship, you can't control something like that.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
JD.15
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
117 IQ
#33
well i split up with mine a few months ago cos she slept sleeping round some guys house and saying they were just friends, when we broke up they got together almost immediately.Bitch still rings me when they argue to, as i'd want to know .....
the bartender
UG's biology teacher
Join date: Nov 2009
429 IQ
#34
Well she clearly didn't handle that very well. You should tell her that you don't want her to call you, or just ignore her calls if you've already done so. She can't expect you to be there for her whenever it suits her anymore, and you should make that clear to her.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
Last edited by the bartender at Jan 11, 2013,
JD.15
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
117 IQ
#35
i did man. she literally wouldn't stop. i just give my phone to someone else now until she gives up, because i can't block numbers on my phone.
the bartender
UG's biology teacher
Join date: Nov 2009
429 IQ
#36
Dang. Bitches be crazy.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
RealUnrealRob
Lazy Physicist
Join date: Sep 2008
233 IQ
#38
It isn't wrong to date someone else right after, but it is wrong to start a relationship with someone that's just rebound, especially if they don't know that they're rebound. I've been in a rebound relationship and I knew it was rebound, and it was fun, but it didn't end amicably.
Zombee
UG Newbie
Join date: Nov 2008
146 IQ
#39
Well it depends how long the initial relationship was and how clean the break-up was. I think someone still needs to take some time to make sure they're not just filling a void. Its unfair to the person you're using, which is why I never took it very far in my case. I felt guilty. It definitely helps you move on, though.
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