Peres.T.Peanut
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2008
1,427 IQ
#1
Hi guys. This is a song I started working on for my band. I like where I'm going with this but it feels lacking, not sure what exactly. Some parts just seem like they could be building up to something but just end up feeling underwhelming.

Cheers.

~Will C4C if requested
Attachments:
LR2.gp5
LR2.mid
Quote:
Hey Im Looking For Some Tech Death Metal In D

Quote:
try anything form avenged sevenfold

I lol'ed.

Quote by Basti95
inb4 everyone else, well played
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,559 IQ
#2
Well, changing the tempo from 100 to 180 really really improved it. Then changing the low 3's in the first riff to 16th's makes it more thrashy, more urgent. Replacing the closed hi hats with rides at 49-56 sounds epic, and then splitting the guitar chords into different tracks, so that one's playing the lower notes and ones playing the higher notes.

Basically I've just implemented all that in this file. Also there's another file I need a crit of, its unfinished but want to know how its going so far:
Attachments:
LR2Epified.gp4
progtechblah.gp4
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Peres.T.Peanut
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2008
1,427 IQ
#3
Holy shit thats my song? O.o Damn its sounds great like that, thanks dude!

As for your song, from that intro I was expecting some free jazz thing to come up for some reason, but wasnt disapointed at all. Up to bar 27 you got this weird techy thing going on. the more melodic parts didnt do much for me, but that 0 6 7 riff is just way too cool.

27-51, I just loved this part, there really isn't anything I'd change or that I'm not sure about. The melodies and the overall atmosphere of those sections is just awesome. The only thing I could say about this is that it feels a lot different from the previous section but I think that was the whole point. With other instruments it should blend together better.

52-59 is the same riff as the first section. While it doesn't sound bad, I'm not sure that mood change was really needed (from the jazzy thingy to this and then to the jazzy again), but it really comes down to opinion, it doesn't sound awkward at all.

Up to 85, everything sounds great again, not much I would change. The djenty part at the end, I just don't like djent so I wont go into the riffs but its a huge change in the overall feel of the song, I guess thats why it has that cut between the sections.

I liked the song, you got some very cool riffs and melodies going on and the length of each section seems ideal. I'm just not sure about that last part really.
Quote:
Hey Im Looking For Some Tech Death Metal In D

Quote:
try anything form avenged sevenfold

I lol'ed.

Quote by Basti95
inb4 everyone else, well played