Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#1
Just epic, not sure if it would class as metalcore, if it would and it sucks, I'm sorry, I hope it's not too bland. I'm very happy with it though (maybe not the glitch drums in the beginning, not sure about those)!

Any criticism is welcome and appreciated!

Edit: Made a completely new song of the added parts in "4. INTERLUDE i C# minor P-HxC parts.gp5", it's the file with the title "_a P-HxC parts (new song).gp5"
Attachments:
4. INTERLUDE i C# minor.gp5
4. INTERLUDE i C# minor v2.gp5
4. INTERLUDE i C# minor P-HxC parts.gp5
_a P-HxC parts (new song).gp5
Last edited by Erra93 at Mar 19, 2013,
Emperor's Child
Isn't It?
Join date: Mar 2008
314 IQ
#2
Tbh, I quite liked it and I'm no metalcore fan. My main criticism would be that it doesn't really seem to progress much. Shake it up a little!
Guitars & Gear:
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frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
1,386 IQ
#3
If you're writing in the key of C# minor, why not just have your guitar in drop C#?
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#4
Quote by Emperor's Child
Tbh, I quite liked it and I'm no metalcore fan. My main criticism would be that it doesn't really seem to progress much. Shake it up a little!


Because it didn't progress much, I choose to have it as an interlude, but I guess that might be stupid reasoning so I'll see what I can do about that!

Quote by frankibo
If you're writing in the key of C# minor, why not just have your guitar in drop C#?


Because I can't tune my guitar to drop C# with the strings that are currently on them, I simply write most of my songs in Drop C for convenience' sake
Macabre_Turtle
UG's UGer
Join date: Oct 2006
60 IQ
#5
There is nothing about this that I don't like, but I do have suggestions.
I like each part of the instrumentation, and I like each new part that comes in as it goes on, but I think you need to also shake up the parts that are there from the beginning as it goes on. For instance, around bar 13 you could add some different notes to the tapping. At bar 21 you could start doing chugged versions of the same chords. At 29 you could add new notes and make new melodies on the synth strings and/or the octave guitar. Just some ideas to shake it up. Also, I wouldn't make it an interlude. I would make it the end to an entire song, only because as a listener I tend to skip over the short interlude tracks.

C4C? Look at my full album tab in the sig (if it doesn't crash your Guitar Pro because it's huge) and just comment on whichever song you feel like.
Last edited by Macabre_Turtle at Jan 28, 2013,
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#6
I guess I'll crit this.

Nice tap lick but the drums are trully horrible in the first four bars. The synth at 3 clashes a bit with the lick. You should change the D# notes to E's: it sounds better and it's a nice little change in the lick. Nice backing chords from 5 to 12: the drumming is pretty basic but it works. Some nice octaves enter the mix, dig it. The synth kicks one octave up, but the basic nature of the drums don't reallys stop it from being tiresome. The single note riff at 29 is koo'. It fades out pretty quickly after that: I'm guessing it's unfinished as of now.
Tbh it reminds me a bit of some of the new ideas I got for my one man project, and I dig it, but you could expand this alot further withouth getting tiresome: just do bigger crescendos and work on similar but not equal riffs to add to the progression of the piece. Also, moar pretty weedly woodly licks, maybe with a bit of delay/reverb.
I hope you get what I'm saying, my english skills have really deteriorated these last few months. 7/10.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#7
PS! Updated version and another version which I'm unsure of (which I'm probably not going to use at all) have been uploaded (obviously ver2 is the updated and P-HxC parts is the one with parts I'm unsure if they even fit)!

Quote by Macabre_Turtle
There is nothing about this that I don't like, but I do have suggestions.
I like each part of the instrumentation, and I like each new part that comes in as it goes on, but I think you need to also shake up the parts that are there from the beginning as it goes on. For instance, around bar 13 you could add some different notes to the tapping. At bar 21 you could start doing chugged versions of the same chords. At 29 you could add new notes and make new melodies on the synth strings and/or the octave guitar. Just some ideas to shake it up. Also, I wouldn't make it an interlude. I would make it the end to an entire song, only because as a listener I tend to skip over the short interlude tracks.

C4C? Look at my full album tab in the sig (if it doesn't crash your Guitar Pro because it's huge) and just comment on whichever song you feel like.


Things have been taken into consideration and I have changed things up a bit, it does sound more interesting now! I've been trying to make it a full song, but I'm having trouble finding inspiration for it, so I'm just letting it sit for now, might give it a try again tomorrow!

Quote by Ometh
I guess I'll crit this.

Nice tap lick but the drums are trully horrible in the first four bars. The synth at 3 clashes a bit with the lick. You should change the D# notes to E's: it sounds better and it's a nice little change in the lick. Nice backing chords from 5 to 12: the drumming is pretty basic but it works. Some nice octaves enter the mix, dig it. The synth kicks one octave up, but the basic nature of the drums don't reallys stop it from being tiresome. The single note riff at 29 is koo'. It fades out pretty quickly after that: I'm guessing it's unfinished as of now.
Tbh it reminds me a bit of some of the new ideas I got for my one man project, and I dig it, but you could expand this alot further withouth getting tiresome: just do bigger crescendos and work on similar but not equal riffs to add to the progression of the piece. Also, moar pretty weedly woodly licks, maybe with a bit of delay/reverb.
I hope you get what I'm saying, my english skills have really deteriorated these last few months. 7/10.


Hahaha, yeah the drums are awful, they're pretty much just placeholders at this time!
Changed the D#'s to E's at bar 3, does indeed sound better that way, thank you!
I will change up the drums to make them more interesting asap!
Thanks a lot mate, I will do my best at expanding on this song and make it huge!

Your English is fine, haha

PS! Updated version and another version which I'm unsure of (which I'm probably not going to use at all) have been uploaded (obviously ver2 is the updated and P-HxC parts is the one with parts I'm unsure if they even fit)!
Last edited by Erra93 at Mar 12, 2013,
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#8
Holy crap, I really like the new parts you added on the third file. I honestly believe they're acutally better than the old riffs/song. You have the material for a great song IMO, you just need to work on transitions for those couple of riffs in the beginning, maybe add some more of that style, and use the old riffs as a recurring theme and outro.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#9
Quote by Ometh
Holy crap, I really like the new parts you added on the third file. I honestly believe they're acutally better than the old riffs/song. You have the material for a great song IMO, you just need to work on transitions for those couple of riffs in the beginning, maybe add some more of that style, and use the old riffs as a recurring theme and outro.


Haha, I'm not sure whether you're talking about the riffs early on in the third file (1-18) or if you're talking about the interlude/outro part (from label "glitch drumz" and on)?

In other words, should I use the interlude/outro part for another song and make the other riffs a whole new song?

Thanks though, means a lot!
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#10
Quote by Erra93
Haha, I'm not sure whether you're talking about the riffs early on in the third file (1-18) or if you're talking about the interlude/outro part (from label "glitch drumz" and on)?

In other words, should I use the interlude/outro part for another song and make the other riffs a whole new song?

Thanks though, means a lot!

That part. And I meant to say for you to use the new riffs and build from them but use the old part as a recurring theme and outro.
EDIT: On the same song obv.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#11
Quote by Ometh
That part. And I meant to say for you to use the new riffs and build from them but use the old part as a recurring theme and outro.
EDIT: On the same song obv.


Aah, I tried to merge them together into something comprehensible, but I failed, so instead I just added more parts to the new riffs and made a completely new song, if you're too tired to crit, a good/bad answer is awesome still!
Dregen
-
Join date: Dec 2007
311 IQ
#12
this was cool, liked the constant rhythmic variation a lot. i don't quite get the random break at 46, but it still sounds all right haha
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#13
Quote by Erra93
Aah, I tried to merge them together into something comprehensible, but I failed, so instead I just added more parts to the new riffs and made a completely new song, if you're too tired to crit, a good/bad answer is awesome still!

I'm never too tired lol, more like too lazy. And I'll give this a proper crit for shure later today.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#14
I never do two crits on the same song, so I guess you're a lucky fella Erra93.

I like the intro riff. The progression is quite uplifting, but the Koto thing (what's that? I googled it and it looks funky) doesn't really add much IMO. I mean, it's there for 4 bars. I like the use of 5/4 on the third bar, throws you off a bit, and how the riffs interchange and switch chord progressions rather quickly. Reminds me of Shai Hulud quite a bit. The drums do seem a bit bland: more fills and diffenret cymbal usage would be cool. The chorus is just full of awesome, really dig the octaves.19 is great too. Riff starting at 23 is really groovy and I like the odd chord usage here. 31/34 is an awesome transition to the next part, starting at 35. Love the backing chords and the lead is really sweet. The transition to 46 throws you off a bit, and the next groovy riff at 46/48 feels kinda pointless really. It's not as good as the prevous riffs too, I would just remove it. Repetition of the chorus, still sounding good. The ending was ok, but kind of disappointing tbh. I was expecting something really big and pretty lol.
Overall 7.5/10. The ending could use some work, and some of the transitions are iffy. I like the structure as it is, slightly unpredictable but still nice.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#15
Quote by Dregen
this was cool, liked the constant rhythmic variation a lot. i don't quite get the random break at 46, but it still sounds all right haha


Thanks matey! The random break's just there for the ridiculousness!

Quote by Ometh
I never do two crits on the same song, so I guess you're a lucky fella Erra93.

I like the intro riff. The progression is quite uplifting, but the Koto thing (what's that? I googled it and it looks funky) doesn't really add much IMO. I mean, it's there for 4 bars. I like the use of 5/4 on the third bar, throws you off a bit, and how the riffs interchange and switch chord progressions rather quickly. Reminds me of Shai Hulud quite a bit. The drums do seem a bit bland: more fills and diffenret cymbal usage would be cool. The chorus is just full of awesome, really dig the octaves.19 is great too. Riff starting at 23 is really groovy and I like the odd chord usage here. 31/34 is an awesome transition to the next part, starting at 35. Love the backing chords and the lead is really sweet. The transition to 46 throws you off a bit, and the next groovy riff at 46/48 feels kinda pointless really. It's not as good as the prevous riffs too, I would just remove it. Repetition of the chorus, still sounding good. The ending was ok, but kind of disappointing tbh. I was expecting something really big and pretty lol.
Overall 7.5/10. The ending could use some work, and some of the transitions are iffy. I like the structure as it is, slightly unpredictable but still nice.


Chappy, you're real nice for doing it. I appreciate it, thanks!
I have no idea lol, I just like the sound of it anyway, I'm probably going to remove it, yeah..
Cool, I should probably listen to more Shai Hulud then!
Drums could definitely use some changez, yepyep, will do that before I try to record it!

Thanks again, I value your crits and will work on drums + outro and some of the transitions!