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#81
Quote by snipelfritz
How much does a polar bear weigh?


Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm *insert name here*.


More like:

How much does a polar bear weight?

Ursus maritimus weights on average about 1200 lbs but can weigh anywhere from 750-1500 lbs depending on numerous factors such as the time of the year. Sows typically weigh about half as much as a boar.

Quality bitches love trivia. Is it weird that I know that off of the top of my head?
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#82
Some of my favorites that work errytime.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep whith me ?
#83
Quote by Gantz92
My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?


If you weren't trying to bend her over the edge of your bed this would be almost sweet.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#84
Quote by theogonia777
More like:

How much does a polar bear weight?

Ursus maritimus weights on average about 1200 lbs but can weigh anywhere from 750-1500 lbs depending on numerous factors such as the time of the year. Sows typically weigh about half as much as a boar.

Quality bitches love trivia. Is it weird that I know that off of the top of my head?


And then you don't even say your name and walk away. She'll be wondering for the rest of the night who you are and will eventually wozzle your snozzle.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#85
Quote by whywefight
I don't think its the best idea to psychologically irritate someone over the internet to find out if they're being physically abused. It seems counterproductive to me

Psychologically irritating people is often the best way to get them to speak their minds.

Quote by JenoUnion
Woah, woah! I'm no woman! >:| I'm a gay man.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.
#86
Quote by adamgur96
Before your edit it was lame, now it's great.

I know, right? glad I came up with it as it was posting.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#87
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Psychologically irritating people is often the best way to get them to speak their minds.

You must be wonderful to talk to in real life
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.

Now what possible information do you hope to get from this
#88
Quote by whywefight
Now what possible information do you hope to get from this


The guy's phone number, because that's what RU's ideal partner is like.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#89
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a strong and beautiful woman. So what if your adam's apple protrudes a bit and you have a square shoulders and a bit of a moustache going on. I'm sure some day you'll find a man who can't do any better some day.


Holy shit, that made me laugh so hard XD Kudos
#91
Quote by whywefight
You must be wonderful to talk to in real life
Surprisingly I get pretty good feedback, people are offended at first when I insult them but then when they realize I do it to everyone and I'm not just singling them out they think it's funny.

Quote by theogonia777
The guy's phone number, because that's what RU's ideal partner is like.

Naw, I'm just trying to score her number so I can not call her and cripple her self-esteem.
#92
"My name's Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat right over there.

On my knob."
MY METALZ YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#93
Quote by leony03
"My name's Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat right over there.

On my knob."

"You see, you're Chris Hansen, but I like to call you Chris Handsome..."
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#94
Quote by snipelfritz
"You see, you're Chris Hansen, but I like to call you Chris Handsome..."


MY METALZ YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#95
hay babby wunna mak a few diploid cells? or i can just put some gametes on ur tonsles
you're a stone fox
#96
I say something funny about something around at that time - if she laughs I say "I'm Foster" and then follow up with more light funnies until I can start asking her questions about her.

seems to work often enough
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
Last edited by SFosterS at Feb 1, 2013,
#98
Quote by SFosterS
I say something funny about something around at that time - if she laughs I say "I'm Foster" and then follow up with more light funnies until I can start asking her questions about her.

seems to work often enough


i like yr sig. uncle acid is pr cool.
you're a stone fox
#99
"Hi."

or

"Wanna cigarette? -- What's in it for me?"

or

"Bocat"

or even this one time I got head when my friend introduced me to this girl he was with and was like
"That's Slash"
and I was like
"Hello"
(People used to call me Slash).
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#100
ey bb ur like da sun n im earth toegrth were 1 but sumday ure fire will die n ill grow cold w7o sunlight n il freeze bb ill die id freeze n dye 4 u*

*dis where da paties dro
p
#101
Quote by WantsLesPaul
ey bb ur like da sun n im earth toegrth were 1 but sumday ure fire will die n ill grow cold w7o sunlight n il freeze bb ill die id freeze n dye 4 u*

*dis where da paties dro
p

Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
#102
Quote by WantsLesPaul
ey bb ur like da sun n im earth toegrth were 1 but sumday ure fire will die n ill grow cold w7o sunlight n il freeze bb ill die id freeze n dye 4 u*

*dis where da paties dro
p


#swag #yolo
MY METALZ YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Quote by angusfan16
Okay UG where's my refund and free xbox. I need It for my 80 yr old grandma. She needs a new flower pot
#103
“Tell me what sort of man you prefer, and I’ll affect the demeanor of that man."
#105
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#106
Quote by whywefight
Most guys don't understand the difference of confidence and being an asshole.
I genuinely care about people, just not what they think of me. That's pretty much all there is to it.

I don't have a pick up line. I just try to find interesting openers to further conversation. Difference is : one is a line, then it is over; The other is initiating interesting conversation.

Having said that...here's a line

Hey do you know how much a polar bear weighs...because it just broke the ice.
Si
#109
There were these two girls in this shop in town, and I was with my friend... They were young, pretty, like 17, 18... This was ages ago, when I was like 19, 20; One was black, the other was white/blonde... Both nice. They walked in together wearing matching clothes -- I thought that was cute so I leaned over, smiled, and was like
"twins?"
They liked that, then me and my friend got to talking to them...
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Feb 1, 2013,
#110
Quote by treborillusion
There were these two girls in this shop in town, and I was with my friend... They were young, pretty, like 17, 18... This was ages ago, when I was like 19, 20; One was ebony, the other was mixed race/mulatto... Both nice. They walked in together wearing matching clothes -- I thought that was cute so I leaned over, smiled, and was like
"twins?"
They liked that, then me and my friend got to talking to them...
#111
I have a knife and a dick, one of them is going in you tonight

"we're going to have sex tonight"
"no we aren't"
"we are, I'm stronger"
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY
#112
I have no socks left to cum in, can I cum in you?
And with that she'll fall madly in love with you.
#113
"does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

was this ever funny to anyone? like who knew anything about chloroform before you heard this? cause the joke was ruined the first time i heard it because i had to look it up.

there's a guy that used to go to my highschool that frequently starts extended conversations with girls i know (including my girlfriend) that all end with "i'm gonna hump you"
#114
"How much for an hour, outcall?"
"Uh-huh."
"And incall?"
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
#115
It's not that I'm not confident, I just straight up have always had shite luck with girls. But I think if I used either the cheesy "confident" pickup lines here or just straight up went up to a girl and sincerely told her how I felt and asked for a number, I'd probably get laughed at and or shot down either way.
#116
Hey baby, are you 46? No? Well that's too bad because I'm 23 and thought we could get together and make 69.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#118
! ^
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.