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perszzac
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
772 IQ
#1
This shouldn't be a problem but im scared S**tless, and I don't know why. So please pit< just say words to bring me up or pull me down. Both willl help
tpt
Obsceneairwaves
UG Member
Join date: Sep 2011
1,001 IQ
#2
Because you're a pussy?

just go ****ing buy them dude it's not hard
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
#3
Are you afraid of sex or buying condoms?
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
ryan_nadon
ass brain
Join date: Mar 2008
134 IQ
#5
Are you ******ed?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
Bob_Sacamano
UG Board King
Join date: Jan 2012
238 IQ
#6
Your fear is dumb, just do it.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
lushacrous
drunkacrous
Join date: Sep 2007
190 IQ
#7
"Oh man I'm so embarrassed to let strangers know that I'm awesome enough to have sex and be responsible about it!"
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
FearMyLightning
Banned
Join date: Oct 2010
482 IQ
#9
Other people are going to be sticking their penises into a girl/guys asshole/vagina just like you, TS. Nothing to worry about.
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
730 IQ
#10
Go in, buy condoms, a cucumber and lube. Stare down the cashier the entire time.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,725 IQ
#11
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
it's not hard

eheheh
adamgur96
Not caring no more
Join date: Apr 2011
865 IQ
#12
Quote by Trowzaa
Go in, buy condoms, a cucumber and lube. Stare down the cashier the entire time.


Also buy some toothpaste, just to make him/her freak out more
I Have An Avant Garde Fetish....
Quote by Gantz92
Im in no way an amateur. I masturbate in public all the time.
Quote by Nelsean
I can get an erection just by looking at a plastic cup, or a river.
Quote by Obsceneairwaves
Don't worry, rape will always find a back way in
H4T3BR33D3R
Resident Gibson Whore
Join date: Nov 2007
2,488 IQ
#13
NDB dude. Just buy 'em.
Quote by Axelfox
my mom and i went to a furry con and on the second day she said she didn't come and pay money to go see dumb shit.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#14
Quote by Trowzaa
Go in, buy condoms, a cucumber and lube. Stare down the cashier the entire time.


Nahh, it's all about buying condoms, lube and three large tomatoes.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
perszzac
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
772 IQ
#18
thanks guys. Like honestly thats all I needed. My parents are on a trip and I got the house to myself do my girlfriends sleeoing over so yah, just buying condoms to be safe i guess.
tpt
whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,725 IQ
#19
Quote by SwaggleyKubrick
Self-checkout lanes = bee's knees.

This man speaks truth and has a beastly username.
Saint78
julian wells
Join date: May 2009
1,760 IQ
#20
Quote by bradulator
Maybe you should buy some vagisil too #nailedit


*highfive*
you're a stone fox
Bob_Sacamano
UG Board King
Join date: Jan 2012
238 IQ
#21
Quote by supersac
**** that shit dont buy condoma just use some saran wrap

Why does this sound so painful and horrific
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
angusfan16
butts
Join date: Jan 2008
578 IQ
#22
Make sure you buy some bananas while you're at it too.
Sail upon the open skies
Duke_Lukem
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2007
296 IQ
#23
Who the hell buys condoms? You can get them free at just about any clinic.
Todd Hart
Do Sadists go to Hell?
Join date: Sep 2009
153 IQ
#24
Quote by Duke_Lukem
Who the hell buys condoms? You can get them free at just about any clinic.


After watching a group of students go through a bowl of free condoms and pierce the middle of the package with a needle I'd be wary about suggesting people rely on clinics.

Pus clinic condoms are generally crap.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
shredder3386
Lord of the Strings
Join date: Mar 2009
643 IQ
#25
Just pull out. Condoms are for gays.
What gives me wood:

Gibson Les Paul Custom
Ibanez S5470F
Ibanez RGD2127fx
Schecter Hellraiser C-7 FR
Axe FX II
Mackie HD1221
Do Re Mi
Johnny
Join date: Dec 2006
632 IQ
#26
Sorry, man, you're gonna get her pregnant either way. 100% of people that have sex have two or three kids in a couple years. Good luck with all that dad crap.
It's a process, not an event.
mark.bark
Laugh often and sleep in
Join date: Feb 2009
128 IQ
#27
You don't need condoms when you are balls deep in her ass
Weaponized
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#28
Quote by shredder3386
Just pull out. Condoms are for gays.
I have 2 friends who have been together for 3 years and they never ever use a condom, just pull out and they've never had a pregnancy scare.
VillainousLatin
UG Newbie
Join date: Jul 2010
317 IQ
#29
I'd personally would go with the "Have sex without condoms then throw her down the stairs in a month" tactic but if you insist, there are places where you can buy them without having to interact with people at all.
snipelfritz
Senior Fun Correspondent
Join date: May 2006
1,554 IQ
#30
Quote by Do Re Mi
Sorry, man, you're gonna get her pregnant either way. 100% of people that have sex have two or three kids in a couple years. Good luck with all that dad crap.

This is why I always give a fake name and have sex with women I'll never see again if I don't decide to (which I never do)... (seriously, it's possible, however unlikely, that there's at least one little snippyfritz running around out there, weird)

But TS you is adorbz. Just go in and get some, then go get some! I used to work at a gas station at night and it was never weird for me (then again, it's kinda hard to make me uncomfortable at this point #ultrajaded). Just don't buy something else to make it seem less awkward. That's really obvious and just makes it awkward. Unless you're hungry or actually need something else, then grab a Slim Jim. Yummy!

And remember, have fun.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Last edited by snipelfritz at Feb 2, 2013,
KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
Banned
Join date: Jun 2008
664 IQ
#31
just pull out
her ovaries

just pull out
her visual cortex

just pull out
that car's been flashing you for over a minute

just pull out
your calculator and get on with the test, please

just pull out
Faux
Or friend?
Join date: Jul 2006
599 IQ
#32
Just remember you're not going to be having sex anyway
AmirT
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2011
248 IQ
#33
I'd suggest you first save for a girl, then get the condoms.
stratkat
IWTCIRD
Join date: Nov 2005
3,672 IQ
#35
Take them out of the box and demand to buy them one at a time.

Man up, if you're too embarrassed to buy condoms, you're far too damn beta to have sex.
In fact if you can't buy a box tampons, you neither deserve the risk of having a daughter or a real relationship with a women.

Deal with it.

Quote by Weaponized
I have 2 friends who have been together for 3 years and they never ever use a condom, just pull out and they've never had a pregnancy scare.

I never pull out, with the oodles and oodles of alternative methods, condoms are teh worst feeling, and one of the least effective methods of contraception.
Last edited by stratkat at Feb 2, 2013,
snipelfritz
Senior Fun Correspondent
Join date: May 2006
1,554 IQ
#36
Quote by Weaponized
I have 2 friends who have been together for 3 years and they never ever use a condom, just pull out and they've never had a pregnancy scare.

One of your friends is infertile.

Pulling out is stupid bullshit. Precum is just a potent as the regular stuff.

TS, chillax, you're making a good decision.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
metalblaster
UG Newbie
Join date: Jan 2008
494 IQ
#37
condoms lol

I can't even remember the last time I used one. Get one that's on the pill, that's the way to go.

Just ****in' buy them man. When I was younger I'd walk in the store grab a box, go right to the cash with the ****ing box in my hand and slap it on the register and look at that old lady straight in the face when I told her I was paying debit and that no, I did not have an Optimum card and I didn't want one. And I'm sure she found it ****ing awkward, and I sort of did also, but then I found it hilarious and I'd have me a nice chuckle in the car. It would always be the same lady too, which made it even funnier.

Then my girlfriend got on the pill, and yeah, I realized what I was missing out on.
snipelfritz
Senior Fun Correspondent
Join date: May 2006
1,554 IQ
#39
Quote by Crillz
bareback although way bro



idiom/spelling fail to the max.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA