willT08
Banned
Join date: Jul 2009
2,923 IQ
#1
I fancy talking some ol' Cockney slang because I'm missing London. Doesn't even have to be real slang, just make it up. If you have no idea where to start watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgPH0tYXJrA

First off, can anyone lend me an ayrton? I need a new titfer.
Last edited by willT08 at Feb 2, 2013,
LostLegion
32CSM
Join date: Oct 2010
2,216 IQ
#2
Why this is a fine species of thread that you have here, threadstarter. I may hope that you make many more of these in the future, sir.
willT08
Banned
Join date: Jul 2009
2,923 IQ
#4
Quote by LostLegion
Why this is a fine species of thread that you have here, threadstarter. I may hope that you make many more of these in the future, sir.

This post went all Pete Tong
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
730 IQ
#5
inb4 iotm and his fake cockney
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


raoooos
gaffer
Join date: May 2010
291 IQ
#6
Quote by willT08
First off, can anyone lend me an ayrton? I need a new titfer.

totally understood that. i dunno why though (tenner and hat innit?)

anyway... uh... nope i got nothing, i don't actually know cockney slang
willT08
Banned
Join date: Jul 2009
2,923 IQ
#7
Quote by raoooos
totally understood that. i dunno why though (tenner and hat innit?)

anyway... uh... nope i got nothing, i don't actually know cockney slang

Bang on my ol' china.

Got a good chocolate on your shoulders.
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,116 IQ
#8
How's your belly full of spots UG?

The moggy ran up the toad and almost ended up under a camel.

Shit Guv'nors.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
padgea7x
I'll wank you, you dick.
Join date: Jun 2008
1,091 IQ
#9
I lived in Hackney for six years and never heard anyone speak like that. I like to think it's a myth.
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,116 IQ
#10
My Dad's from Battersea and also knew Michael Caine before he was Michael Caine, my father also knew that guy who played Mike Baldwin on Coronation Street from that time too. Same neighbourhood, I'm thinking.
Yeah, my father's a Cockney, taught me some Cockney.

I wonder if
"Another chip of the old block"
is Cockney?

Oh well.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Feb 3, 2013,
SMH07
Chat shít get banged
Join date: Aug 2007
126 IQ
#11
Quote by Trowzaa
inb4 iotm and his fake cockney


You 'avin' a fackin' Turkish san? I.O.T.M is a proper nawty fridge freezer.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#12
it's a right laugh to take the piss innit shag biscuits the tele let's drive oN the left guys
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,116 IQ
#13
Moggy = cat.
Guv'nor = gentleman
Apples and Pairs = stairs
Frog and Toad = road
Camel = bus
How's your belly full of spots? = How are you?

You also drop your Hs, so How sounds like 'Ow'.

- This is real stuff, believe it or not.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Neo Evil11
Feminist
Join date: Feb 2006
1,485 IQ
#14
Eye steally dyke piss sad.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
bartdevil_metal
Uses Jackson and Line6.
Join date: Feb 2007
2,353 IQ
#15
Can't believe you tossers and your sexton lingo, it's radio! Not two pair of you could organise a piss-up in a brewery. East end rabbit's got a lot more hop than that. I'll bet you a sov to a pinch of shit none of you have been further down the frog than Scarborough in your lives, because if you had you'd know where and how to get a decent pocket watch and at what time.

Anyway I've had enough of this cobblers, I'm off up the jack to settle meself. If you need me I'll be out with the trouble in the morning.
...
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,116 IQ
#16
Lorry isn't Cockney, is it?

It's British? (Like, just British).
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Crofty89
I came here to rock
Join date: Jan 2010
727 IQ
#17
Was it you who trod on me plates of meat rushing down the apples and pears when I was about to go for a Geoff Hurst? If it was, you had it away on your toes before I could get a butcher's hook at your boat race to describe you to the old bill.

(I know some of that is non-rhyming slang but that's about all the cockney I know)
Quote by CV334

Sir, the contents of my mouth just blew all over my keyboard, desk, and part of my monitor. For the record, it was slightly chewed Keebler cookies and coffee slurry.

The average pitmonkey's response to my jokes.
I.O.T.M
I'MA MAKE YOU HURT
Join date: Aug 2008
452 IQ
#18
Quote by Trowzaa
inb4 iotm and his fake cockney

I'm the nawtiest fridge on this website, me ol fruit.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
I.O.T.M
I'MA MAKE YOU HURT
Join date: Aug 2008
452 IQ
#19
Quote by SMH07
You 'avin' a fackin' Turkish san? I.O.T.M is a proper nawty fridge freezer.

You better fackin' Adam and Eve it.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
JokerGrin
Banned
Join date: Dec 2012
10 IQ
#20
Gor blimey!, I just had a right proper rippin' brad pitt and no mistake!
Stugg334
Bristolian
Join date: May 2009
368 IQ
#22
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBvBqUCeKY4

Funny cos Frodo sounds more Cockney than Pete
Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,116 IQ
#26
My Dad was born this day, Feb 3rd, 1939 in Hoxton I believe, and was very much so born to the sound of Bow Bells.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.