WildMiles96
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2008
526 IQ
#1
I havn't posted any lyrics in a while, so here's something I recently came up with

Well I find it kind of funny,
How you find me so frail
Well I find it kind of funny,
How you're leaving me to fail

Now Your out of breath, from your last cigarette
(Some secrets weren't meant to be told)
Now Your holding on while you pirouette
(That breath was yours to hold)

Well dont you know(It's just a f***ing phase)
And I have to admitt(There's nothing I would change)
It's nothing old, but nothing new
This wasn't meant to be said to you
I've Had Enough!
You've Had It Too!
And so you know:
My life isn't a f***ing phase for you

Critiquing myself, I feel that "holding/hold" was a bit redundant in the 2nd stanza, and the 1st stanza seems kind of overly cliche
Any comments or criticism welcome